NC Dignity Club part 8: still wearing our crowns

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

Hopefully nobody else has started a thread, if so feel free to ignore this one

Rhubarb it's been hard all along really but the last couple of weeks seem even harder and I can't work out why? I've started waking up in the middle of the night again like in the first few days/ weeks of NC. Not been eating much either again. Usually work keeps my mind of him but even that's not working atm. Got a lot going on atm though. I will get past this I must. He's no good for me ultimately I know this in my head. The heart well you all know that's another story. Arhhhh

for those of you that have morning slumps. I just blasted this out and screamed along while cleaning/doing random squats.

Basseting more details Please? And now the reason he sent you his "porn" writing becomes clear!

anxious what do you mean re the writing???

I think my subconscious is trying to work something out but I dont know what?

having a morning slump. my surgery might clash with dd's SATS. School not impressed. I feel so pressured atm. A bit of you know what might help. Fat chance!

the surroundings were not clear Old
I dont think that is where my mind was focussed
I dont know whether to take heart from it?
Surely it has to be good that I am dreaming of sex with someone else even if that focus is not the right one?

Basseting thought MF had asked you to read something and it turned out to be very sexual?
Would the children not be taken to school by H so could still attend SATS?

Oldbrook
you are doing so well. You are so right moving etc can be a stressful time.
Basseting
hope your surgery goes well and yes i'd go with the feeling about your dream being somewhat a good thing.
Rhubarb
Hold strong you've been to day 30 you can do it again.

anxious yes he did but it was a few weeks back and it was about an old g/f of his so not about me. my brain is weird.
exH lives 50m away. I will be in a high dependency unit for 2 days, in hosp for 4 ? I am so stressed. I also have to make decisions about where the kids go to school next year and all sorts. Aaargh!

Hello all, I'm new! Would you mind if I joined in on this thread? Currently 2 days NC.. reading through your posts has really helped me realise I'm not alone and that I can bloody do this!

Of course curraghgold welcome. Count up the NC days with us, and post here rather than texting him(?). Vent if you’re feeling sad, angry, hopeless, hopeful - it’s been really helpful for me.

Thanks Raven, I haven't cried for 2
days now as well lol starting to feel a bit better but I guess it'll be up and down for a while yet

Another one wanting to join you guys!

Managed 3 weeks NC with my ex, felt quite proud of myself then bumped into him on a night out and slept with him right back to square one. Coming up for a week NC.

He’s clearly sleeping with god knows how many other women and I’m just comparing anyone I go on a date with to him.

I check his last seen on WhatsApp every bloody hour and it’s taking over every thought. I’m in my 30s in a professional job yet when it comes to him I’m like a teenager again

Aww Snowman know exactly what you mean about WhatsApp! You did brilliantly to get to the 30 days, can't even imagine that at the moment. My NC has just text me and I'm shaking and can't even manage to bring myself to open it! Like you I'm a professional and this is making me act like a complete weirdo

Hello Snowman Hello Curragh
and WELCOME
despite my embarrassing sharing of a sex dream (!) this is actually a very level headed and supportive place to keep checking in whilst you are managing (or not!) NC.

Hi curragh and Snowman. This thread is great for keeping you accountable- it’s like weightwatchers for your heart!

curragh I know the shakes when a message comes through - open, read, delete. Whatever he says, you don’t have to reply.

Snowman 3 weeks is brilliant - you did it once you can do it again, now safe in the knowledge that sleeping with him wasn’t necessarily the answer

Thanks both, read it and burst into tears, now angry with myself as been doing ok.. he just made me feel even worse, saying he's ok and had a positive week and he's feels his head is in a better place. Bastard

Aww no! Well then he’s either an insensitive a-hole who thinks that’s an ok thing to say, or he’s a manipulative a-hole tying to make you feel bad. A-hole either way! Do you think you can delete it ASAP so you don’t dwell on it every time you open your messages?

He's a selfish pig and only thinks about himself. Still hurts though and I'm sure he realises exactly how that sounded to me, his intention was to get to me and yeah it worked ffs

Please can I join in? I’ve been having a fairly intense emotional affair since last spring. I now think he’s some kind of narcissist and I’m currently being discarded but being fed crumbs to keep me hanging on. I get lots of excuses as to why he can’t reply to my messages... even though I’m rarely the one to instigate contact. I also get lots of “U ok?” type Messages, which I reply to almost immediately and he then ignored for hours. He also says goodnight but then I can see he’s still active or active again later on. Can I ask your advice please. Is it better for me to ignore his messages or block him altogether. I guess I keep hoping he’ll come back to me. The problem with blocking is I become weak and unblock within hours. He hasnt done anything wrong as such, I’ve just noticed a huge cooling off... I feel so frustrated and angry that I ever messaged him back all those months ago. I was so easily sucked in by him. 😔 I’ve followed this thread since the beginning and am struck by how similar our experiences are. I’ve even wondered if they could be the same man. You’ve all already helped me such a lot just by reading about your similar experiences. Thanks for that. x

Thanks ladies, am glad to have found this thread.
Will report back here whenever I feel the urge to text! Not got to the stage of blocking him yet but think this is next rational step. Unfortunately know his number off by heart.

and to all of you. Nice to be in a supportive place with people who understand

Curragh also glad I’m not only one who is crazy enough to check WhatsApp last seen ha ha !

Welcome Trytobehappy we can do this!!

I know Snowman it's so sad, I wouldn't admit it to anyone I know! I'm being strong and not replying to his text, I know only more heartache will follow..

No neither would I - in fact no one in RL knows how much this is affecting me! I’m quite embarrassed and frustrated with myself.
I find myself analysing what he might be up to based on his last seen! I’ve gone mad.
Almost like it’s one little way I can stay connected with him..meanwhile, he couldn’t give a toss what I’m up to!