Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer Jan and Feb so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

We've donned the snow chains, topped up the antifreeze, and turned the heaters up to loud, so even though it's cold outside, our welcome is always warm, so hop on and join us.

Morning all - boing!

Just back from running on the beach. Today was a game of two halves. After not looking at my pace for 2.5k I realised I'd been running at PB pace for me, around 6.15 / 6.20 per km. When I turned around to come back it was into the sun (which was much hotter than I was expecting) and I had that sicky, sweaty head feeling.

I then spent the second half having to run 1/2 a km and then walk for 60 seconds. Am really pleased that my pace has improved that much - if I'd actually run the whole thing at that pace it would be a new PB. I feel like it might be achievable this summer if I keep plugging away.

In other news, it's been a whole month since I committed to resetting my drinking properly and I've been absolutely consistent since then with two days wet and 5 days dry. I am v pleased with myself. This is actually an improvement to my previous moderating of the last 4 years which I was doing in a 3 days wet 4 days dry pattern. I feel this is working better for me overall.

I still haven't come on - this bloody peri-menopause is driving me nuts. After spending 4 years since age 39 with shorter cycles of 25 days, I now seem to be going back to old days in 2018 and some months its 30 /31. It's totally impossible to predict these days!

mint - sorry to hear you have been in tough times. Sending a hug.

trust - per-menopause as well. It's shit isn't it?

working - glad the results were not as bad as they could have been.

Hello to all other babes. xxx

workingtochange I first started drinking alone (rather than socially) when I was with abusive controlling ex. Partly it numbed the shit, but also it felt like a little tiny area of my life where I could 'disobey' him, something that I could be in control of....

Didn't know I was actually handing over control to a different master!

Rid of both exh, and wine witch

venus and working I’m another one that drank alone to cope with a controlling ex. I’m not blaming him for all my issues with alcohol but I have very rarely drunk alone since we split.

Day 8 for me - longest I’ve gone for quite a while. Yesterday DP took me to see 42nd Street in London which was good. It felt weird not having a drink but I did try some non alcoholic cocktails which were quite good, and it was nice going to bed and waking with a clear head. Also managed to get DP on the tube for the first time in his 33 years. He hated it

Back to the grind tomorrow, hope you all had a lovely weekend x

Hello again babes.
Day 21 for me now, which has nicely coincided with my app telling me I have saved £150. I'm working on complicated knitting in the evenings which helps!
Hope everyone's having a good Sunday night, and all round.

Hi all

duchess and venus that's interesting (though obviously horrible that we had to go through that) that we have that in common!

Having drunk last night I am pleased to be on the wagon again. I'm having bitter lemon on ice as it's got a nice kick and isn't sweet.

My ex has been very pushy and difficult tonight by phone. I know that if I was still with him there is no way I could contemplate not drinking. So leaving him has brought me two freedoms though I know which I miss more haha!

Have a lovely and sane Sunday everyone.

Morning all
Working yes the weight thing makes you feel down especially as I find it’s so much harder to shift as I get older but I have been told that this is because the metabolism slows down. However it is doable but just slower so I will be trying as hard as I can. I think your plan of not weighing is good. I am just going to eat healthy, exercise and of course no booze!
Twattage yes the Peri-meno is draining mentally and physically. I have just had all blood tests done to see if there is anything that can be done to make it a bit easier. Should get the results this week.
Well done to Mavis and Duchess and hi to all other babes
I’m off for a walk with the dog this morning then the gym later and going to shop for lots of healthy produce.
Have a good day everybody

Hi. First sober birthday. Not been a great one. My grandpa went into hospital with a stroke.

On a smaller level i woke up with a head ache which still hasnt gone even though no booze. Had a call from an job interview which i didn't get.

Pretty trying day at work including someone having a go at me.

I can't treat myself as have no money at the moment.

I did have a lovely weeknd and I have a lovely family so I am very lucky. First real cravings today in a long time.

I haven't bought any wine. I know it would make me feel like shit tomorrow and wouldn't end tonight. So that I'm pleased with.

Sorry for the self indulgent moan x

Evening all - in bed with tea, cat and Neighbours.

say - sorry you're feeling rubbish. Unfortunately even when not drinking it doesn't mean we don't feel shitty. I hope you feel a bit better tomorrow and also sorry about your grandpa. Well done for not giving into the wine, it won't help.

trust - I don't feel I'm at the level of needing blood tests yet. I don't feel bad in myself, my main issue is the irregular cycle and never knowing what the hell is going on any more. I can manage that unless I start to feel shitty as well, if so I have a GP lined up I will speak to.

Not much to report from me - after a massively busy weekend doing loads of house jobs, actual work is quiet at the moment.

The go-live date for the project I'm working on has been pushed back for the third time so I don't have a lot to do. I am out of contract again in just over a month so that discussion will be rearing its head from next week when I'm 30 days out. I also have the final member of my team starting next week, so it would be ironic finally to get a fully resourced team, and then to find we're not all needed any time soon. Anyway what will be will be.

Tomorrow I'm WFH so planning to go for a run first thing. I may also manage an hour in the garden at lunchtime if I'm lucky. x

Evening all .
So flippin chuffed to be still on the bus . Day 7 here and going okay !
Can't believe how much I'm getting done in the evenings .
Actually enjoying the elderflower and sparking water and also managed not to be at all bothered when dp had wine on sat evening .

Another one here who started drinking alone during 25 year controlling relationship .
Now divorced / house bought ect but unfortunately I took to the wine along the way . Have opportunity for some real happiness with a beautiful guy now so am determined to crack this .
Can't believe how lucky I am so that's what keeps me focused ...don't want to drink it all away .

Hope everyone else is having a good one x

say sorry you're having a bad day, happy birthday and hope you get well done for wine avoidance!
twat tea, cat and telly sounds good!
tinkerbell well done on a week! It's difficult watching others drink!
Hugely tempted by the beer that's in the fridge. I don't want too feel like shit tomorrow though, and it would be the three beers in the fridge, then I'd want the wine in the shed. After 3 sober weeks I'd probably be puking for most of tomorrow.

Thanks oh dear x

Congratulations Tinkerbellx on day 7. I know what you mean. I feel very lucky for my 2 dc do not and will not drink all of that away.

In bed with a huge cup of tea watching Netflix now.

Well done tink on 7 days ☺️ Twattage I forgot that Neighbours was a tv programme... had to read that sentence again

I’m day 9, just done my workout and feeling pretty good. Have a bbq on Friday for SIL’s birthday... haven’t decided yet if I’m going to abstain from drink completely. It’s a weird situation as boyfriend will have to abandon me there while he collects his kids (bitter ex, long story) so I’ll be alone with the ILs and nervous and tempted to drink. Add to that the fact his parents actually have a bar in their house... could be dangerous

I’ll talk to boyfriend though, see what we can come up with. Good evening all xxx

Happy birthday saywhen

say so sorry to hear about your grandpa. I hope he has good treatment and recovers well.

tinkerbell wow I know how you feel. I was very long term with ea ex. Well done on kicking it and lovely you have a great new dp.

I'm having a chilled sober night with elderflower, fruit salad and tea. The extra time you gain is great isn't it! It's like being given an extra few hours in the day. The confidence being booze free is giving me is an unexpected bonus.

Thanks venus.
Thanks working I think it's a really dreadful thing to say but I hope the has a dignified death. Hes a lovely man and is loosing his quality of life and has had enough.

Sorry for the depressing comments.

I will treat myself to elderflower tonight good idea working and tinkerbell.

Today's a fresh day hope you all have a good day x

Morning all - slight boing this morning :) (through the period pain).

I haven't slept well the last few nights due to being boiling hot, but this morning I overslept and have only just woken up, so that's at least 10 hours sleep! Feeling much more refreshed.

Been out in the garden - my decking needs one final paint and then it will be ready. The guy is coming later to finish that. Am abandoning an early run as I've overslept and I did 18.5k steps yesterday, my legs are tired. It is already hot in London today.

Tonight we are out to a pub quiz with some friends that we haven't seen for at least a year, which the husband has arranged. If I'm honest I don't really want to go out on a Tuesday as I have to be client-side tomorrow and Thursday, but they have kids and have to work around the babysitter, so this suits them better (it's either that or we don't see them).

Current plan is to pull forward my Thursday sidecar day to this evening as it doesn't start until 8pm (by which time I'm usually in bed with tea and cat and pjs and about to go to sleep) and we won't be home until 11 I would think. At least it's only 20 mins on the train to get home and I don't need to be too early at the client tomorrow.

say - sorry I forgot to say happy birthday for yesterday. I hope you're feeling a bit better today.

duchess - I am a massive Neighbours fan, it's my guilty pleasure. I have always watched it on and off but then when I moved abroad 4 years' ago I got into a routine of watching it on catch-up every night after work. I don't think I've missed an episode since 2014!

twattage I too get really into box sets or programmes. I never used to, but it is a nice replacement for drinking and can feel very cosy!!

say so sorry your dgdad May not recover. I have had. Close relative dying of a stroke and I understand the wish for them to go peacefully.

Morning! I am feeling good today. There is definitely something to be said for this booze free, healthy eating malarkey. Hope all you babes have a great day x

saywhen Happy belated birthday . It must be bitter sweet with your Grandad in hospital. Sending you much strength.

It's a beautiful morning up here. This will probably out me but I had a lovely day at work yesterday with a bunch of these beauties. There's nothing like a lemur cuddle to raise the spirits.

Well done Mavis, Tink and Duchess Still going strong! And everyone else too. It's nice having a busy bus.

Say Happy belated birthday. Such a shame about your Grandad. It shows real strength not to turn to alcohol when times get hard.

Twattage You're so much more active than me!

Love the pics Mint

I'm having a bit of a busy week. DS has a school trip, a party, and a non uniform day for the royal wedding. This has required more thinking from me on work mornings to ensure he has the right stuff on the right day. And I've had to alter childcare arrangements to fit it in so he's gone to my parents this morning rather than breakfast club somewhere else. I don't really like changes of routine!

Work are having a party in at the end of May. I don't know if I'm going. I feel anxious over it because some of them have taken the piss about me being AF and not smoking. Others have questioned why I'm still doing it. I'd like to go to prove a point to myself about evening socialising. I managed lunch last week where they had wine and I had Becks Blue. I just don't know if I have the will-power to do an evening event.

baking I had a work party last week and just drunk elderflower presse. I felt quite smug seeing them all hungover the next day. I've just told them I'm doing it to lose weight and they've accepted it. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Baking please don’t stress over this. You are a strong person and just remember it’s one day at a time so try not to think about it for now as it will build into something momentous.
You will deal with it nearer the time x

Hello gorgeous babes!

Did you miss me?

I've mostly been doing boring stuff like discovering that I have new parts of my body that don't work properly, just for shits and giggles!!

It's fab to see you all, some new names too! Good ol' Gerald, keeps on going from place to place! I'm sorry to say I've not read back properly, I just skimmed through

I'm still doing controlled drinking, mainly social, but long gone are the days of two or three bottles of vodka a week for this little Mouse.

Anyway, Nemo needs me so I'll pop back soon for a catch up!

Keep on keeping on Babes!

Love, Mouse xxxx

Don't know if anyone's around but I'm trying desperately not to give into the voice telling me to go and buy wine . The urge is so strong.

I'm day five today moderating / stopping not sure

Sleeping better , fogs lifting, works more productive.... so why won't the voice stop?