Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer Jan and Feb so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

We've donned the snow chains, topped up the antifreeze, and turned the heaters up to loud, so even though it's cold outside, our welcome is always warm, so hop on and join us.

Fiver sounds about right Coquette . Well done on the lemon and lime. Are you going to treat yourself with your savings? Well I've one my PT session and taken DD to school (she is in a major sulk with me 90% of the time so that was a joy - anyone else got a moody teen girl?) and off to work now. Can work from home but when I feel low it depresses me. Cinema this evening with a friend who is going through a similar situation. Feel guilty about going out and.leaving my 2 almost adult children to ear ready meals from M&S but then remind myself that they are usually locked in their rooms ignoring me anyway and they have another parent around the corner who walked out ... grrrrr.

Hi @3StepsToHeaven well done on going to a meeting that's a such a brave thing to have done. First step to a new and better life for you x

@LookingforHope the savings are going to start clearing debts but it's a step in the right direction No moody teens here but a 7 year old going on 17 already so god help me well done on the PT session

3Steps sorry I missed you earlier. Well done on going to a meeting. Make yourself comfy on the bus. There is still a ton of left over birthday cake to enjoy

Good morning all and welcome aboard 3Steps - well done on getting to the meeting

looking - can't help on moody teen girls but I'll raise you an entitled, stroppy, argumentative teen DS. We have to find the best part of £2000 for school trips already for next year and now he's sulking because we won't allow him a third trip for an additional £2000. I swear that child thinks I'm made of money!

Have a great day...chat soon xx

Hey you lot. Tis me. I'm dropping in to say hello and a catch up. Its been a shit few weeks. My friend died this morning finally from her bloody horrible cancer. I'm still not drinking though although I've had a few near misses.
I've found a lovely new AF drink in the co-op. Elderflower presse. It's gorgeous.
My bloods came back clear so now I'm waiting for a scan for endometriosis.

I wish this thread was private (like a secret group thing!) as there's so many things I want to say right now but would be really outing to those snooping on here. 😕
Welcome clearview Everyone on here is lovely and have really helped me before. I wouldn't be as strong today if it wasnt for the Brave Babes.

Morning, I'm still reading what I have missed, so forgive me for not being up-to-speed.

Hope, thank you for the birthday cake. I used to beat myself up about not giving DS a better family environment - ExP was not unlike your WB, cock-lodging, pseudo-creative (musician) too good to dirty his hands to actually earn money, who claimed to be a SAHD, but never went to a single activity, toddler group or got up in the night, while I worked in a high stress career that didn't progress fast enough for him or provide him with a house in an area he wanted to live . He once shouted at me because DS (age 2 or 3) was crying - DS had a nosebleed, I was severely haemophobic (couldn't even cope with my own menstrual blood) and had passed out on the bathroom floor. I finally left in 2005, I still occasionally have those feelings of guilt, but what I know now is that I didn't fail, I suceeded in giving DS so much, because if there were two people and one was giving and the other was taking, I know which one I was. DS has a work ethic that can only be from me, a sense of humour and generosity that I blame entirely on his step-father , and now knows who and what his father is without me ever having to explain it.

Mint that's a real bad news/good news/no news situation, I really feel for you. I agree, sometimes it's difficult to feel like we have to hold back.

I had my first decent sleep in months last night, but it might have been sheer exhaustion. No wine today because DH and I are at the theatre tonight (first Chichester show of the season) and I will be driving.

Oh Mint so sorry about your friend. I lost my mum to cancer, it is a vile disease. Hope you are getting support from your loved ones, and amazingly well done for not drinking.

Clear I hear you on the 'made of money' front. DS never asks for anything but DD thinks I should pay for school trips, exotic holidays, ludicrously expensive concert tickets AND a new wardrobe for each one as apparently it is unthinkable to wear the same top twice because, you know, group selfies on Instagram.

Sweet good to see you. Hope you enjoy the show tonight. Chichester is lovely.

Evening all (well not evening but I've come home from the client as I'm feeling a bit sub par after being soaked in the rain yesterday and having another extended journey this morning).

mint - v sorry about your friend.
sweet - enjoy your play. My parents go to Chichester a lot - they were explaining to me that it's a test bed for going into the West End so there is a lot of good stuff to see.
clear and coquette - well done on progress
looking sorry if I don't comment on child related schizz - I don't have them so it's a subject I know nothing about!
3steps well done on getting to a meeting. Very brave of you.

I need to finish off a couple of work calls up to 6pm and then I'm showering and PJs, tea, TV and bed. x

Looking Your posts aren't boring. I wish you could make the regrets stop. You'd feel so much happier. I think WB and his family have just ground you down and it takes time to recover. I do get what you're saying about not having much extended family though. Mine is my parents and DS really and it makes me feel so sad when I think of DS being alone when we've all died. I really hope he has a family of his own by then.

3steps There's no shame in asking for help. Well done for going to the meeting. That's a big thing.

Clearview £2000 in school trips I might need a better job when DS gets bigger!

Coquette I really wish I'd kept my not drinking or smoking money separate now. Although it may have scared me.

Mint That's sad news about your friend. You should be proud of yourself for steering clear of the bottle though.

Twattage That's fab getting back to equal dry days.

I had an awful night with anxiety last night. I cried for ages after work. It was a really dark mood and it frightened me a bit. I wanted to do things I've not done in years and the feelings totally freaked me out. It was so unexpected. I wasn't much better this morning. Cried on the train. Received an earful off a colleague first thing and got tearful over that. But the customers were lovely today and I'm much more settled tonight. Plus I wasn't the only member of staff there crying which says it all really! Been drinking Becks Blue with cross stitch and the telly. I'm up far too late though.

Aw baking didn't want to read and run. I hope you feel better this morning. Anxiety is terrible - and now you don't have the booze and hangover to cover it up.

I took a night nurse and passed out last night - was woken by the alarm this morning (rather than waking up before it). One more day to drag myself into the client and then a few days at home.

Still no weight loss - I have been a perfect WW this week. I think I might be constipated for some reason. Am not giving up.

xxx

mint so sorry to hear about your friend Well done for staying strong xx

Aww baking sorry to hear you're having such an awful time at work. Hope you're feeling a little brighter today and I echo that a hangover would only have added to the negative feelings.

twattage don't give up, although it is so frustrating when you exercise and eat right and still don't lose. I often joke to DP that I'd have to remove a limb these days to lose weight so I really do feel your pain!

I left work last night and had to stop myself calling in at the shop for wine. I resisted despite it nearly bringing me to tears/violence and took myself out for a run instead. Hill sprints with the running club left me too tired to even think about drinking at least but it bloody hurts today!

Just checking in. Am away overnight with work and have to do dinner rather than slob out in my room.

I've been much better today and you're both right - a hangover would've made it all worse. I'm finding the anxiety really hard to handle when it starts. I definitely feel less anxious generally without alcohol or smoking but I now have these periods of really intense anxiety every few weeks. I know that's not often but when it's there it's awful. I could barely function from Tuesday afternoon to Wednesday afternoon. Today I feel fine. Like someone's turned it off. I don't know what the answer is.

Twattage Don't give up. You're bound to lose something soon. I've been eating crap again in the evening so I've put a few pounds on. No crisps have been purchased this week as a result!

Clear Well done for ignoring the wine and going running instead. It was a couple of months before I could go near the local shop in an evening and trust myself not to buy any cans.

Ma How are you? It's been a while! I love slobbing in hotel rooms - hopefully you'll have time after dinner.

Play was great fun (for once, I disagree with the Guardian Critic) just the sort of froth I needed. But Today has been a disaster AF wise, for some reason I gave in and had two glasses of fizz - tired I guess. Stopped now.

Morning all - 3 1/4 pounds down this morning. On the one hand I am pleased and on the other hand this is the same 3 pounds I've been gaining and losing every week since mid March when I came back from skiing.

So the task for this week is to stick to plan 100% and push on through to a second week of loss.

Anyway this is not a weight loss thread!

Stepped into the sidecar last night but back on the bus today - cannot wait for this PM. We are off to the coast with the cat (hopefully won't get stuck in a massive jam) until Monday evening - taking the cat so we won't have to rush back Monday to feed him as the forecast is actually amazing for the bank hol :)))

Plan is a 10k walk tomorrow, sunbathing and a run on the beach on Monday morning. And other than that, chilling :)....

Current wet and dry tally for the year 67 / 58 - give it a couple more weeks and the dry days will be overtaking the wet :).

baking - glad the anxiety has passed and sweet glad you enjoyed the play.

xxx

Was on holiday last week with no signal so I've just had a massive catch up reading all the posts - it's funny how I miss you all so much!

mouse always good to see your posts, you battle through so much, and I can hardly believe that little nemo is 9 already. You've done an amazing job.

ma, mint and looking hugs for all you are going through. I too have the feeling of deep regret that I didn't give my kids the stable upbringing I imagined, but hopefully I've shown them that you don't have to stay in a shitty relationship and that you can have a good great life afterwards too.

twattage keep going with your determination and vibrancy, the lbs will slip away and the dry days will creep up - how great will that feel?

Waves to baking, sweet, clearview, coquette and all babes who are currently travelling with us, or nearby, or lurking. Have a good Friday.

Hi all and nice to 'meet ' you venus

Have a weekend of socialising ahead...I seem to have picked the busiest month ever to start my new life but I never was one to take the easy option, otherwise I'd still be drinking I guess

Have been to the pub after work with the team and felt odd ordering a lime and soda. Felt better driving home though, rather than abandoning the car and not making it home for the lovely dinner DP has cooked and a weekend of silent treatment

Looking forward to getting out in the garden in the good weather though so things are positive.

Have a fab weekend babes xx

Oh twattage well done on the weight loss xx

Evening all - made it to the coast about an hour ago. Traffic was pretty bad but not horrendous.

clear - thank you! I am determined to get a second loss this coming week to get past this hump I've been in. Well done on the dryness - you have to start somewhere...I had quite a few social things within a few weeks of being sober, you can do it!

I hope all babes are okay on a Friday evening. I am in bed with tea, would also like to say cat, but after throwing up in the car he's wandering around outside at the mo. Will be crashing v shortly.

xxx

Hello, I've posted on these threads before under various names and remember how lovely you all are!
I'm now day 12 AF, after many years of heavy drinking. Ideally this is it for me, no more alcohol.

I have an interesting weekend to survive, with my heavy drinking PIL who will be convinced I'm pregnant as soon as I turn down a beer. May have to pointedly eat a brie or something. Happy weekend all!

Morning all, well I'm now on day 6 and made it through a Friday night alcohol free I always knew weekends were going to be the real test so one night down, 2 to go (bank hol) Although I've still got worries (couple of health niggles and some financial stuff) I feel like I'm so much stronger and more able to deal with stuff. The saying that resonates most with me is "stealing happiness from tomorrow " that pleasure of having the first drink of the evening - which ALWAYS turns into more - is just not worth how utterly shite I feel the next day. Anyway, enough rambling from me, have a great weekend everyone, enjoy the sunshine!! Whoop

Morning all - boing!

Slept like a log last night and just been woken up by my boy. We're getting up in 20 mins to make sausage sandwiches and then get over in the car to a very particular bit of coast path, where we'll do our annual 10k walk. V late doing it this year - we have been known to do it in March if the weather is good!

We'll then have a pub lunch, paddle in the sea and drive back to lounge in the garden. I may be in the sidecar today but this will be my only day off of the BH weekend. I want to be running on the beach on Monday morning and feeling amazing.

mavis - welcome. 12 days is brill :)

coquette - you're doing really well. Yes I think most people struggle at the weekend. I find Fridays pretty easy as we're usually in the car and I'm tired, so by the time we get home it's easy to just make tea and go to bed. That said, when we arrived last night some of our neighbours were out on the lawn (we share some communal grounds) drinking and I had a v brief thought about a beer and then put it firmly away!

Have a fabulous Saturday all.

xxx

Clear I'm finding driving at anytime a real plus for not drinking. I love not having to think about taxis etc.

Twattage Awesome news on the weight loss! Sounds like you've got a good weekend planned aswell.

Mavis Welcome back. 12 days is fab!

Coquette I find sunny weekends really hard too. Just take it a day at a time I guess.

I'm at an adventure play place today. Just me & DS . I've managed to forget the sun cream and his hat. I re-potted my plants this morning. They're massive now. I really want to buy some cigs to smoke sitting on my garden furniture. I won't because it's a slippery slope but I so want too.

Just had a massive wobble on the way home, I was desperate to go the shop for a bottle of white wine. Managed to resist and now sat at home eating pizza