Dating Thread 129 - Time to put a new spring in your step

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

Pog Would you ever think it could progress into more? I say this because with my only ever FWB both went into it knowing it wasn't going to continue past when one of us wanted to see someone else. That happened after about 7 months of a lot of sex, a lot of hnaging out, but hardly touoching the sides in terms of our life story. He didn't really like to share (he isn't one he says to dwell on the past) and he never encouraged me to talk about my recent struggle (separation). It was perfect at the time and looking back he did me a real favour.

What I am trying to say is if we had opened up emotionally to each other, it could have got messy. But then it could also be beautiful and end well. Go with what you feel you could manage. I think that fact you want to reach out to him, means you would like to.

Well you might be right Pud but I think it's more that I was surprised how badly some close friends handled my thing and I think I'd feel like this if saaay a neighbour told me the same... It's just solidarity in grief I guess.

I don't think it really could progress, he's not that into me which for the fabulous egotist I am is enough to switch me off.

Cover: I'm 34 and yes in Midlands, Worcestershire 😜🙈

Vixen Ah then you must be being hit on by most of the guys my age

Not really with it tonight: a stinking cold has materialised out of nowhere. I am most displeased.

Cover- either younger by around 7 years or older by double that. Not finding a happy medium. Ah well. Meeting some interesting people x

So, I’m on POF looking for a relationship and Tinder for something... less. Am I bad?

Oh no ignoring I'm sorry! What the fuck is wrong with these twatting men? The utter lack of common decency and basic manners is staggering. Yep, KOKO, don't let the bastards grind you down.

Pog also about the card. Wtf was he thinking?

Good going Kin, I thought your profile was great as I said.

Kin in my experience bad can sometimes be very very good 😉

Pog definitely be human first and foremost in times of tragedy...

A happy medium

kin keep your options open 👍

Anyone else wish there was a maybe pile on tinder? Like I wanna think about it but keep swiping!

Pudding total waist () of time for us men - everyone knows we swipe right on every profile!!

Misscatt - I'm in the Midland too. Mr Yacht plays the same contact games as your iron. You don't think we're dealing with the same man?

OK. So I’ve bitten the bullet and signed up with match. I’ve even added photos. Of me. I’ve been on there a grand total of two hours and have received several winks.
i don't want people winking at me on match, I want actual communication with words and stuff.
Am I expecting too much too soon? ( most probably)
Am I being too fussy?

OH and do guys actually read any of your stuff? Have I spent time crafting lighthearted and witty profile info for nowt?
Did I really need to specify a preferred age range when the people winking and favouriting me are about twenty years out either side?
I guess patience is the key.
How soon do u make your move if there’s someone you vaguely recognise from real life and were vaguely interested in two years ago then wasted a year with yet another Peter Pan man?

Jelly I don't mind being winked at. At least I know they're interested and it's not that different to "hi".
But it does wind me up when I get winks & messages from men that are miles away or well outside my age range. Why bother? It's just showing me that you haven't bothered to read my profile.
Make your move now on the one you recognise before it's too late.

Mr Waist of Time seems to be living up to his name. I haven't heard from him for over 24 hours despite me sending him a couple of messages.

Jelly I think a lot of men don’t read the profile, probably don’t get further than the photo. Yesterday I had 3 messages from people with young children (one had 3 of them), my profile states that I would prefer to date someone with older children or no children. They obviously didn’t read it. Same with me wanting someone active and I get messages from very overweight men who describe themselves as ‘love sitting in front of the tv binge watching box sets’. So ‘no’ I think a lot don’t bother reading. I’m always changing my profile in hope I can draw interesting people in but doesn’t make much difference.

I messaged someone this morning (rare for me), he had looked at my profile, I noticed he was 49 years old but he actually looked really fit and a lot younger, I had to message him saying ‘no way are you 49?’. He’s sent a few messages back.

Thanks for replies. Interesting that even on paid sites people don’t read the profiles! I’ve been quite specific about location too and had winks and ‘favourited’ by people from hundreds of miles away and folks not even in this country! Flattering I guess but also gives me cause for concern, my geographical area and age range produces slim pickings although for the right woman there are some real gems!
Well, I’ve invested the money now so I guess I will give it some time.
Will message the guy soon, will leave it a few days tho as for some reason am nervous about it!

Love Oh yes we do! The profile is more important than the pictures in many ways!

Why didn't I find Tinder earlier? 17 matches over night... too much messaging to do when I should be working

Kin I had a load too - was quite flattering - however I only messaged 2 - one turned out to be a total weirdo, and the other I met last Monday. Might send a message to a couple of others this weekend - I struggle to keep multiple chats going.

kin nice one, be prepared for a lot of separating the wheat from the chaf ;)

Its not easy trying to chat to lots of people at once, so I would suggest you try whittle them down and only message a few to start off with. Bin any that don't engage with any enthusiasm or even try to converse. Just unmatch.

And have some fun (its a good ego boost if nothing else).

Ignoring That is really rude. Glad that you didn't waste too much time though.

Esk1mo You sound a bit like me and that's part of the reason for joining the thread so I do the worrying on here and not to my irons. It does no harm to have snacks ready especially if it will make you feel better.

Pudding21 Go you. Inappropriate Tinder guy could be just what you need. Hope you have fun tomorrow evening. A maybe pile would be a great idea. I've got to admit that so far I have tended to click right on maybe's. I figure I can always unmatch with them later.

Kin Not at all, sounds like that is just what you need after the last few months. I only joined Tinder on Sunday and it has been a great confidence boost.

Jelly If you see somebody you like then I would send them a message. Nothing ventured and all that.

Runs That's frustrating. Any other potential irons?

I am pleased to report some good news. Mr South Africa has asked me out on a date and we are meeting for drinks on on Wednesday. I think I am more excited about this first date then any of the others. I hope he isn't a let down.

Mr Ice has gone quiet but I have a new iron who I had a lovely chat with last night who I shall call Mr University and is proving a useful distraction from Mr South Africa.

Custardcream hmm well wouldn't that be a coincidence if it was the same guy! What evil fun we could have! OK, so my Mr Knows-he's-hot is 44, has dark hair and works in the sports industry... ring any bells?

This thread moves so fast.

Ignoring - that is so shite. What a rude git.

Jelly - good luck!

After my despair yesterday, I have a date in the offing for next week with Mr Wales. He seems decent and genuine. I'm hoping it is not all bullshit. Anyway he asked if I wanted to meet up and is prepared to come to my neck of the woods, I offered next Thursday or Friday and he's going to come back to me to confirm!!!! We'll see. I've got this close before and it never quite happened, or they turned into rampant sexters (which I can only do after I've met someone) so I am being very realistic with my expectations.

Misscatt- Its not the same man. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing! Even though I know the PUA tactics he's using, it's working and making me want him more. Grrr I need to give myself a telling off.

Ah OK Custard, well it was worth checking! I think a lot of guys behave like this, so it doesn't surprise me you've found one too. What's PUA? I'm usually good at acronyms but this one escapes me! But I agree... these tactics make us want them more. And boy do they know it. Thing is, it works the other way round too! Which is why I'm playing it very cool with him. What's the story with Mr Yacht then?

So I did eventually reply to Mr Knows-he's-hot last night but only said that yeah, I'd been busy too (after he'd chased me for not replying when he'd ignored me for 2 days, saying he was busy yadda yadda!!) I gave him no more back than he gave me, didn't ask a question etc. He's read it (which he doesn't usually do immediately) but he's not replied. I don't particularly care if he does or not! My give-a-fucks are re-calibrated thanks to that great video posted yesterday!