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Original poster

Dating Thread 129 - Time to put a new spring in your step

999 replies

RunsforCake14 · 21/02/2018 20:14

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread
OP posts:
Thread gallery
20
flowergirl5 · 21/02/2018 21:39

Just place marking xx

VetOnCall · 21/02/2018 22:06

I’m all about the cock

Amen sister GrinGrinGrinGrin

nothing1 · 21/02/2018 22:19

Ahhh MrItalian texted me "can I ask an awkward question" and now hasn't replied after I said yes!!! Dreading it, fearing the worst :(

esk1mo · 21/02/2018 22:26

oooo nothing i wanna know what it is!

saveyourkissesforme · 21/02/2018 22:31

Placemarking. Thanks for the new thread.

Thekitten · 21/02/2018 22:37

@Val, I did, relatively successfully. But we were only together for a few months, we were fwb for 2 years! We ended things about 7 years ago when we each got into series relationships, but we're still very good friends :) it can be successful, but we were communicative and wanted to be friends and nothing else. So it depends how you approach things...

wellthatsdifferent · 21/02/2018 22:37

Hi everyone, hope you don't mind me joining the this thread. Have been in the old dating community for all of 24 hours and its really mind boggling! Hoping you wise people can teach me a thing or 2 x

ignoringthechoc · 21/02/2018 22:56

Nothingwhat was the awkward question?
Should we start guessing? I will go first, ' Is it important to you to be monogamous?' :) Hope I don't win!

dancemom · 22/02/2018 07:05

Place marking.

Had a bit of a wobble last night with the current iron Mr PT.

He's said all along that there should be no expectations as he's a bit of a nomad, tends to up and leave regularly and admits to having no ties to the city we live in and is actively looking to set up a business although he's unsure where. I didn't pay much attention to it at the time as it was all early days but now 2 months in I'm wondering am I waisting (sorry joke!) my time? Should I get out of it now before I develop any attachments? Or should I accept it as just enjoying his company while it lasts?

I'm confused 😐

PussGirl · 22/02/2018 07:12

Hello! I've been around a while under another name.

Starting to dip my toe in the water after the breakup of a long marriage.

Early 50s & feel I'm in the wrong age-group for OLD - I really don't want to be passed over by men my own age or be hit on by much older blokes who can't get it up! I'm not sure younger men are my thing either. Hmm

I have joined MeetUp & been on a couple of mixed social things which is at least getting me out there meeting people.

I'm not looking for anything serious but do want sex Blush but nothing too casual.

I'm too picky, aren't I? Grin

Kinunir · 22/02/2018 07:25

So, I'm trying to do things the right way with Miss I before moving on, but she's not answering her phone at all now... methinks she knows what's coming...

nothing1 · 22/02/2018 07:28

Ok, panic over! He replied asking if my lips had been chapped because his had suddenly become a bit chapped. Phew! I was expecting "what are we doing here?" or "what are you looking for?" and I am quite scared we aren't on the same page (no evidence though)

kin you're only obligated to try a few times, then the ball's in her court...!

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 22/02/2018 07:35

Pussgirl you have my sympathies - in the same boat here .

Currently I think I am an iron but one that is stuck in the cupboard as a back up while these new steam generator ones are being tried out - why can't people be honest ESP when they claim they are so in their profile ?? Think they are the worst .

Good luck kin - you deserve better !

ValMc1 · 22/02/2018 07:36

Kin sounds like it - if she won't engage there isn't a lot you can do. Perhaps a text to say you would like a quick chat and then leave it. I assume you have made a decision to move on? Think that is the right decision for you but I bet it hurts - take care

VixenSixen · 22/02/2018 07:51

Dancemom: this isn't probably what you want to hear but I can see a few things there that would make me think about perhaps cooling it - he is not giving out positive signals IMO. I mean sure, people have lives and don't want to be tied down but reading between the lines I am just seeing - I am enjoying this but I won't be sticking around forever so I can't offer you any sort of commitment right now.

Have you tried telling him how you feel about him? He could be commitment phobic. I think of you are beginning to have some feelings for him it is best you communicate this and let him know, otherwise you could end up getting hurt and that is not nice xxx

Alison100199 · 22/02/2018 07:53

Hello. May I join? I'm currently braving Tinder and it's pretty scary. I'm developing a thick skin and have a 3rd date this weekend with Mr East End. The trouble is a previous hot guy who I had one date with keeps popping up with random keeping in touch messages. No idea what he is after. Says he's really busy until March but seems to be on WhatsApp all the time .

Kinunir · 22/02/2018 07:56

Bloody Intent was the one 'lie' I kept coming across on OLD - be careful there

Val yep, can't carry on like this, especially now she has driven my desire for MB through the roof!

Alison Think about it... you do know what he's after really, don't you!?

ignoringthechoc · 22/02/2018 08:11

Hi Puss It's ok to be picky, good to be clear what you want, then it saves issues like Bloody has with lies and intent.
I am always upfront about wanting a relationship and would be very miffed if someone saw me under false pretences as I don't want casual. Dancemom I would be disentangling myself if I were you sounds like he is potentially going to disappear on a whim with the hints he is giving you.
Kin is her behaviour now making it easier to disengage? She really doesn't come across in a good light, so rude to ignore you after a weekend away. I'm with Val you do deserve better and I hope you find it (but maybe have some NSA fun along the way ;) )
Alison he is keeping you on the back burner (because he knows he is hot and he can) if you like Mr East End focus on him and ignore the other one.
Hope everyone has a good day...another day off work and having fun with kids for me :)

Bant · 22/02/2018 08:19

There are three different things here though. Some men say they're after a committed relationship and lie about it. Some say they're just looking for something short term, no long term commitment because they're a nomad (or whatever) and some say they're after a committed relationship - but that doesn't mean they'll find happiness with any person who's also after the same thing.

I want a relationship, I say so on my profile - but I've broken things off with women before when it's become clear that I didn't want a relationship with them. I'd rather meet someone else who ticks more of my boxes. They may think, after the fact, that I was just looking for a fling and pretending I wanted a few fun weeks whilst lying about wanting a relationship, but it just took a few weeks to find out that that person wasn't for me.

The nomad thing dancemom - he's being honest with you. This will end after a while, when he decides to move on. Maybe next week, maybe next year. Is that something you're willing to accept? If not, then I'd call it off now.

There's an old saying, when a man tells you who he is, listen to him. Don't let your own wants and needs blind you to what he's telling you.

ignoringthechoc · 22/02/2018 08:25

Thanks Bant I did think when I was writing that, that my recent history of short flings suggests I don't in fact want a relationship, but it's exactly that what you said...I do, but only with the right person.
I think the point I was (badly) making was that you need to be coming from the same place, so Nomad chap wouldn't be for me, nor the young 'age is just a number babe' ones, but if someone seems to have a similar relationship aim then I would see what happens but not be devastated if it didn't work out.

ignoringthechoc · 22/02/2018 08:28

that what you said? think my cut and paste went astray there, or I need to wake up properly before I start typing :)
Off for a run to wake myself up.

PussGirl · 22/02/2018 08:30

I haven't signed up for any dating agencies yet - I just know I'm going to be driven nuts by bad spelling & grammar. The odd typo is okay - we all do that! I'm a well-educated professional person & this sort of thing is important to me. Picky picky. Grin

I had a quick look at a few profiles on POF & every man vaguely near me in my age group was a lorry driver who couldn't spell or use punctuation. I was older than most of their absolute cut-off ages, too.

Sigh.

As for dick pics - are they actually being sent to us more mature types? shudder

Kinunir · 22/02/2018 08:30

ignoring definitely feeling disengaged now and looking at her photos, she doesn't seem half as attractive as last week - guess that's why I always go for personality

Bant with OLD I've found it to be more about not raising red flags rather than ticking lots of boxes... think I'm still struggling with my standards at times.

Question about Tinder: you have to sign up through Facebook. Does that mean someone can see your profile? I'm reasonably popular on Twitter but billy-no-mates on FB as it's frowned upon in the industry I work in.

Pogmella · 22/02/2018 08:39

Morning!

So meeting FWB again was defo the right thing to do: I noticed loads of things about him that are less than awesome, I was just building him up in my head. Also I realised I do just want sex... this morning in bed he was telling me about some problems in his life and I was making listening noises but in actual fact thinking 'Can we get a move on your train is at 8:30...'

So I might be a bad person, but probably not a heartbroken one Grin

MinnieMul · 22/02/2018 08:52

Kinunir I think with Tinder and Facebook, it just gathers your profile photos (which you can change) and info. like age, work etc. but again you can hide this. I don't think it actually links to your profile. I did have a Tinder match find me on Facebook though after I deleted Tinder - I found it very awkward.