Dating Thread 129 - Time to put a new spring in your step

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

ha ha Pog - just grim

reminds me of my first Valentine card from my twat boyfriend, circa 1983

it was tiny with a sickly panda on the front & a rhyme that ended "I like you lots & hope you'll be my valentine today" GOK how I still remember that

AND HAD THE 19p STICKER STILL ON THE BACK

19p FFS

Puss that made me

I had a Valentine from a short term boyf when I was 17 that I remember too. It was a picture of a mouse holding a watering can and inside said “Valentine: I hope your day is so exciting you wet your plants”

I never did sleep with him, I have to say.

Bloody hell Pog! I don't remember Mr Faraway's story, but that's a bit shitty. Why not put it in an envelope with no stamp and send it back to him??

Pud there was a lot of mention of cock a little way back... I was also guilty of it. 'Fucker' hasn't replied as in Mr Architect? I wouldn't panic or read too much into it... If your hormones are crazy right now, that's going to make everything seem worse than it probably is. I'm sure he'll be in touch soon. If he's got a whiff of how you feel about him, then he might be enjoying the attention. Or, more likely, just busy. Keep us posted...

Been considering OLD , had a look at match, found a (very) few selection of guys I might like to meet but I feel weird about putting my pic on there. I guess there’s very little response without a pic?
I live in a small town and there’s a very small pool of people my age (mid 40s). The word gets around super fast if you’re on a dating site, I know there should be no stigma anymore but I haven’t done anything like this since the early ‘noughties’ where I could get away with putting any old pic of anything and still get lots of interest. I think I just needed to have a pulse when I was in my twenties! (pof and yahooo dating)
Does everyone put full facial pics on?

Jelly yeah. You could have the most amazing witty profile and you’ll either get zero proper interest or people suspiciously asking you “why haven’t you got a photo?”

covermelads conversely I would be less interested in profiles without pics. Maybe I just need to swallow my pride. Avoiding dating sites has given me access to a plethora of bad bets, I just want to see if I can do better by having a computer narrow them down into something less wild card-y!

Hi again all, took myself off POF for two weeks, while the whole Valentines thing blew through. Not sure why, but just can't handle OLD at that time of year.

Anyhow, glad to see some of you are getting dates.

Can't believe your post office tale Pog!!!!! What an arse.

I don't know what the fuck I am doing wrong, but I am not getting interest from the kind of blokes I'd be interested in. I have decent, recent photos, a well-honed profile (got tips from you all), I'm sane, well-educated, in decent shape, polite and all that shit (and I'm not sweary on OLD either) but I am not getting sane, well-educated men with decent photos contacting me. I've only had one bloody date since signing up. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

Ahh joined Match (on a drunken wim) two days ago, finally braved it enough to check and I have a lot of messages .....most from men old enough to be my dad so really not interested. What is the etiquette here do I just ignore? Also Ive had 1 winker(?) Is that a term who looks quite nice, do I wink back, message? What am I meant to be doing? x

Love the term winker!!!! Quite a few are 1 letter away from that.

Yeah some of the winkers do look a bit like a similar word, cant judge a person on a couple of photos I guess. Still not interetsed though haha

wink back wellthatsdifferent - or you could say hello and start a conversation.

I'm really confused about the etiquette of OLD. I'm not looking for marriage but do like monogamy. At which point or after how many dates do people generally stop browsing on line or talking to other people? I want to keep my options open in case Mr East End disappears but at the same time it's date 3, 2 got pretty intimate and I like the guy. I feel inexperienced at this lark!

cover is not a man. I can attest to this :)

(Not in that way)

Right, thats it. My obsession with Mr Architect has gone in an instant.

I called him, as I still didn't know if he was even meeting me as we suggested yesterday to go over work stuff. He said he went to bed early, surfed this morning then forgot. Can't come today, but can tomorrow "before dinner" but did not mention anything about dinner. He did apologise several times, but it takes two seconds to send a message. Idiot.

Professional only from now on. He can do one. NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to all who have reviewed my new POF profile, especially anyone I've forgotten to thank personally. Lots of good advice - some implemented already, other bits to consider after all have replied - and plenty of nice comments.

I must say, if the views I've had today have all come from people on this thread, then all of you should stop being single right away - you're an attractive lot with plenty of humour and intelligence swirling around your profiles.

Very best of luck to you all!!!!

Well done pudding, onwards!

well pudding he sounds like a bit of an arsehole now! it might be a bitter pill to swallow, but maybe he just isnt interested in anything right now. how long has he been single? he might be a little stuck in his ways. id definitely be meeting other people if i were you, take your mind off him.

is it possible he thinks its against the whole “bro code” as he knows your ex-fwb?

Ah Pudding - at least you know now. If I were you, I would leave things on a professional basis and cool things. You have given him enough openers, and if he hasn't taken them on board, it is his loss. So sorry.

esk1mo Maybe, but he showed all the signs of interest. Maybe with the bro code but I have no idea. Ex FWB would have told him to go for it, he is very free. When we were seeing each other and I went to Madrid, he told me I should find a nice Spanish boy ;)

Anyway. it isn't even the reason, if he told me he wasn't interested I would take it on the chin (and cry into my tea) but its the fact he has been flaky, from a professional point of view and just a nice human being view. Its very Portuguese to be honest (the flakiness, not confirming etc only contacting if they have something to tell you), but to not even text me to say "can't come tonight" would have been cool. Not for me to ring him 45 minutes before he said he might come meet me. If I feel like it tomorrow, I might ask him in a nice way. I couldn't hide my pissed offness, i was a bit curt. But men love bitches right? ;)

In all honesty, I still would: mwhahahahah! I am off to the gym now to squat some heavy ass weights and try get this longing from my loins.
(and maybe join tinder again.....) or call a psychotherapist.

On a more positive note, forget Mathew Hussey, this girl is my new crush.

Hi, I've been lurking for a while and really love reading everyone else's dilemmas and OLD drama, I've been on and off it for 4 years , I have a 4th date on Saturday, he's tall, funny, definitely fancy him, had good dates but just can't figure why I'm not totally feeling it, he's living with parents as only 4 months split from LTR, don't know what to do really, any thoughts appreciated, do I still date and see how it goes or sack it off as I shouldn't have any doubts 🤔

kin and ignoring what do you mean by intent ?

" Intent was the one 'lie' I kept coming across on OLD - be careful there"

Well the last two are fairly big red flags, lolly - but the biggest thing is just that you're not feeling it. The connection isn't really there.

You can see if it kicks in, of course, but if it's been okayish and nothing more after 3 dates, it's probably not going to get much better

Val YES to this " I much prefer reading this thread than most of the messages I get."

Bloody Intent was always a problem for me as many of the women I was meeting were "looking for a relationship" on the site but a one night stand in reality. Of course, that would do me just fine right now