Dating Thread 129 - Time to put a new spring in your step

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

Kinunir- I am on facebook but didn't use it to sign up to Tinder as I didn't want my FB pics on Tinder. It gives you the option to choose how you sign up.

Hi, can I join? I'm fairly new to OLD, joined bumble in jan had quite a lot of response and got to 4/5 dates with a couple of guys who then seemed to vanish (well not vanish just they stopped initiating anything always responded if I messaged by the level of interest dropped off a cliff) so it's back to square one again, you definitely need a thick skin!

Kin - I didn't sign up with Facebook - just on my phone. No problems so far. I've turned it on again but no-one is ringing my bell.

I gritted my teeth and agreed to a date at the weekend with Mr Waist of Time. The rest of his texts have been ok and I haven't got anything else planned.
But then this morning I got 2 Tinder matches. One has messaged already. The other is showing as less than a mile away, which is a bit worrying. But I don't recognise him.
I also got winked at by a 22yr old in Manchester. There's hope for this old dear

Morning! Radio silence again here.... he's either so busy he can't type, he is freaking out, or he just isn't interested. Time will tell.

Anyway:

vethope you have got back on the horse so to speak. I don;t understand why people cannot just be honest, but I do know it says so much more about them, than it does about you. I like your attitude to dating, KOKO!

cover I have to admit, despite your user name that you were a woman :) Now I have a wonderful image of this sassy guy with a great attitude, so thanks for that (it was the clicking of the fingers).

misscatt sure call me pud ;) Also for me its all about the cock, but I have to know the man behind the cock a little bit before I feel comfortable with the cock. Hahahah! Mr Knows hes hot: ignore him, dent his ego a bit. I have no time for men like that. They actually give me the opposite of the horn.

Kinuir the only dating platform I have been on is tinder. I think it is a good one for getting matches and you don't have to message if you don't want to. Hope the chat goes well, and she takes it on the chin what you say to her. In a tinder profile I like some information (just a one liner, or something that can be relateable), a few pictures from different angles (without hats/ sunglasses etc) and something that shows that you are not too serious about yourself. That is just me though, I swiped on someone purely because he did the best face swap I have ever seen with his dog.

esk1mo all sounds very promising, I love walking, so talking at the same time, getting to know each other, perfect.

runs as I live overseas and I end up really only talking to guys who do speak english I do let a lot of spelling/ grammer go but I wouldn't be so forgiving of a native speaker. Waist/ waste: not sure I would be too bothered about it, unless it was frequent. Then again, dude might be dyslexic? So i am all about giving a chance ;) Plus I have Masters, and my spelling is sometimes a bit suspect.

nothing1 chapped lips????????

dance he is telling you who he is, listen to what he is saying, if he tells you he is a nomad, he is saying he isn't one to usually settle down. however people change, my FWB was like this, we ended it as both of us were feeling more, and both knew it wasn't going to continue long term. But by he knew what he was doing, he knew his own mind. If he wasn't friends with Mr Architect, I would be drunk dialling him at least twice a week!

Pog sounds like you have your head straight. :)

I had a really nice chat last night with a guy I met in Jan from tinder. We have loosely kept in touch but he told me such lovely things about myself last night, he is a real sweetie, shame there is no chemistry. His level of contact is good, messages always nice. He listens well, and he is very complimentary. Both agreed at some stage we will meet again, but he has child care stuff and hes busy, plus we live an hour and a bit away form each other.

Best go do some "work".

Mantra of the day: you only live once, whats the worst that can happen?

Well, being eaten alive by syphilitic hamsters ranks fairly high up there

What, wait... are you a guy Cover? Now I'm confused... but it doesn't take much

Thank Pud! Oh absolutely agree about getting to know the guy the cock's attached to first. Yes, with Mr Knows-he's-hot, I'm just pondering how to make him chase a bit harder/dent his ego. I've not 'read' his message (so no blue ticks for him), though I can see what it says on preview. He's not exactly making an effort. Instead of saying 'Sorry busy few days x', why didn't he say something positive, like when we can actually chat on the phone then? Numpty. I'm doing all the work here.
Trying to think of suitable responses for replying later, or tomorrow. 'Oh dear' plus an eyeroll emoji? or 'Ok' or 'Me too' (or eff off!!!). Basically not put in any effort at all, like he hasn't. There must be something suitably witty/flrity/ego-denting I can say to make him come running? Ideas? If he wasn't so hot, I'd have blown him off days ago. So to speak.

I suspect you may have described somebody's dream of a Thursday, Bant

MissCatt Do nothing. In my jaded experience, that's when they come running ...

Urgh you guys are all so right! And I can't even be annoyed as he's bee totally honest and upfront with me .,,

However I don't have any emotional attachment yet, can I keep him around for another week or two for the decent moose burgers ??

MissCatt Nothing or at most just write 'Tell me about it! Crazy busy' and dont give him any question/follow up. Look nonchalant. But silence is your best bet.

Yeah, you're right Ginny. I'm not great at doing that though. Time to put it to the test! I might read the message later, give him his blue ticks, but not reply. Mr Headfuck was SO like that. If I didn't reply almost immediately, I'd get a barrage of 'Don't give up on me/are you there?/are you seeing someone else?' texts. He HATED being ignored. Yet he would sometimes take days to reply to me/give me the silent treatment. This guy reminds me of him SO much of Mr HF in looks (even in jobs), I think I'm going to project and do what I should have done to the idiot last year. Mmm cathartic.

Pog Yes, I was looking for something that didn't ask him a question, so he had no reason to reply. 'Tell me about it' is good. If I can't sit on my hands, I'll send that, maybe later tomorrow. But I think as you and Ginny both say, silence is best.

MissC By engaging with him at all you're trying to encourage him into communication, into a relationship. His behaviour screams headfuck. You don't need that in your life.

God I'm so fucking wise after the event(s)

Yeah Miss if you leave it he will get bored or curious enough to text properly. And if not you don't need him anyway

Wow a new thread already.

Dancemon I definitely agree with the advice of listen to what somebody tells you about themselves. I really should have headed this with my most recent ex. It has been a painful lesson to learn.

Puss Welcome to the thread. I have been a member of meetup for a few years and whilst I have made some friends and met some lovely people there has been no sniff of anything romantic starting as a result of it.

Kin I hope you are able to get in touch with her soon so you are able to move on.

Bloody It frustrates me when men are like that (I suspect women do it as well). I have a few like that on Tinder at the moment and they will be being culled in the next few days if they don't step up a bit.

Alison I hope the date goes well and I think I would ignore the other guy and move on.

Pog Glad it was the right decision.

JMC Welcome. OLD can be brutal. I hope you start to have better luck.

Runs I think I would forgive one grammar slip up as well. It might well have been the predictive text on his phone. I hope the date is fun.

Pud I hope that he is just busy. The Tinder bloke sounds good though. It's a shame as you say that there is no chemistry.

Apologies for those who I missed.

Mr Music is no more. I was starting to have a few doubts and then spoke to him on the phone last night and realised it was a definite no. It just didn't feel right and he was far too eager for my liking. He suggested that we spoke on the phone again this evening for example. I wouldn't even want to speak to my best friends that much.

Mr South Africa is definitely still in play and the more I talk to him the more I like him. I think I may need to subtly hint to meeting up soon.

I also have a new iron who I will call Mr Ice. He sounds to have had an interesting life and politically are views aren't too dissimilar which is always a bonus.

oh dear that was awkward! Just had a complete conversation with someone on Whatsapp and have no idea who he is
I should do as I don't give my number out much, so all I can think is I spoke to him a while ago? No photo on Whatsapp and can't link the name to any pof contacts (only site I am on) It's a bit confusing. Doesn't help that I deleted all old whatsapp conversations recently so can't check back.
Shame as he seems ok and he must be fairly attractive if I gave him my number :) but mentioned I have a date tonight so that's probably the end of that
Just need to stay away from any syphilitic hamsters now?!

Pog and Ginny yeah, you're both right. I shall wait and see how curious he is. If he comes back, it'll only be to soothe a bruised ego that I wasn't falling at his feet. I owe him nothing. We've only exchanged a couple of messages on OLD, where he gave me his phone number unprompted. And a couple of whatsapp messages since. He's hardly chatty. But damn he's hot! And 7 years younger than me... I'm gonna play it so cool, I can feel the ice crystals forming already

Smeaton there's NO WAY you'd be allowed into BOTUM's. It's supposed to be a 'light-hearted' monastic mead-loving group.

Thanks for the Tinder tips everyone. Going to sign up for that and POF after I've spoken to Miss I.

Catt some people play hard to get but it's worth being wary of those who play it so well they never can be got.

ignoring if you can't remember who it is there's probably a good reason why!

Vista good luck with Mr South Africa as Mr Music sounds too needy.

Nope, I’m definitely a woman.

lifts top

Yep, they’re still there

You are right Kin it came back to me, I deleted him as he was only interested in meeting up for a few days when he had time off work ( I didn't and still don't want to be someone's plaything when they are bored :) ) Obviously put him right out of my head, and it was over 2 months ago since we spoke so not surprising I didn't click straight away.
Pog glad you are happier in your decision, must be the right one.
Catt just ignore him.
Pudding Hope he is just busy, I (we all) still have high hopes for you and the architect.
Vista both your potentials sound good (SA and Ice) similar views on politics definitely helps :)

Cover not sure where that confusion came from, particularly after the discussion you and Vet had about both becoming lesbians and running off into the sunset together :)

Haha guess what? Mr Knows-he's-hot literally just whatsapped me saying 'You vanished now?' plus a cheesy grin emoji. I haven't yet opened his message, or his one from last night (saw what this said on notification preview). I will maybe give him the benefit of two blue ticks and a short reply later, when I'm ready. Unfortunately, in my experience, it's always the bad guys who behave like this... cool when a woman's keen, then needy when she's not. Doesn't bode well, but we'll see. I'm worried I'm using this as projection to get back at Mr Headfuck. (Plus, I'm also worried Mr Knows-he's-hot might read this!!!)
Any advice what to reply later?