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Original poster

Dating Thread 129 - Time to put a new spring in your step

999 replies

RunsforCake14 · 21/02/2018 20:14

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread
OP posts:
Thread gallery
20
ignoringthechoc · 26/02/2018 22:36

ha ha I have many conversations like that Kin but at least it gives you chance to not meet them.
Had a message from someone without a photo, commented that blind dates are just not the same without the lovely Cilla so no I didn't want to meet until he sent a photo, response was 'WTF are you on about and who is Cilla'
I should just stop trying to be amusing, it's clearly not appreciated on pof :)

VetOnCall · 26/02/2018 22:37

ignoring noooo! I'm a working Cocker person but all Spaniels are just joie de vivre incarnate. I've yet to meet a dog I don't like but Spaniels are the best.

Kin sorry but Grin Sometimes it feels like banging your head repeatedly against the wall would be a less painful and more rewarding use of time eh?

Kinunir · 26/02/2018 22:39

ignoring and vet this is, like, 99.9% of the chat on there for me - I don't need someone to have an IQ of 142 but 42 would be nice Grin

ignoringthechoc · 26/02/2018 22:43

Don't get me wrong Vet I love him to bits but even I can tell he is a dick. He has injuries that could have been avoided if he didn't do everything at 100mph, has eaten things that must have been painful or disgusting to eat, and then finds the one bit of carpet in the house to puke it up on.
But he does give good cuddles (and the odd sneaky lick :) )

BeenThereDating · 26/02/2018 22:48

A King Charles definitely lacks joie de vivre...

Kinunir · 26/02/2018 22:57

That moment when you're about to give someone a damn good sexting... only to find they logged off AngryGrin

SpringtimeSun · 26/02/2018 22:57

Is there a way to search for a PoF using their profile name?

I saw someone I really want to message but I wasn't on my main profile and now I can't find him again.

Skyrabbit · 26/02/2018 23:06

Can I throw my hat in the ring for the most wtf message on pof please?

Dating Thread 129 - Time to put a new spring in your step
Kinunir · 26/02/2018 23:07

Damn autotext, I meant cute and adorable. Sorry sky

Skyrabbit · 26/02/2018 23:09

spring I think you used to be able to, but not any more unless you've paid.
kin Kinell, Why don't people tell the truth about their age?? It's always going to be found out!?!

VetOnCall · 26/02/2018 23:20

Skyrabbit what a prick! That's so pathetic it's funny. I would reply saying '*you're' and then block.

Ignoring oh yes... I've lost count of the number of times I've had to stitch/staple/remove grass seeds from various parts of mine. My old one who I lost a couple of years ago was a stomach on legs although to be fair to her cast iron digestion she rarely threw anything back up again regardless of how rank or inedible it was. Been Cavaliers and King Charles are classed as Toy dogs so technically not proper Spaniels which are Gundogs/mentallists Smile

VetOnCall · 26/02/2018 23:46

So Mr PhD did reply and is actually really nice! It was a cut and paste as I have a character limit on my messaging settings so he did it to 'bookmark' my profile. Still a bit random but he apologised for the weirdness, his subsequent messages are both normal and interesting and he's good looking, well travelled, outdoorsy and has a dog so will give him a chance. The distance will likely be the killer though.

Kinunir · 26/02/2018 23:59

Strange thing to do though Vet - he must be sabotaging himself big time by doing that Confused

Lostlily · 27/02/2018 07:21

Well good morning. Been a week since on here.
Still dating Mr smiley and all very good except he dropped a couple of bombshells the other night that I can seem to get my head around.
He has an 18 dd with quite severe special needs, he was honest about her from day one and has her every weekend. This is a big deal but I was accepting of it.
He was married to his ex for a long time and she has two kids from previous relationship. I actuallly felt bad for him that he raised three kids and his own one is so severely disabled:
Then the other night we said he actually had two other dd, both from different women and from very young! One is adopted and the other he has no contact with. He never knew anything about the second one until she was 14 apparently.
This stunned me and I feel like it’s changed my perception of him. Also if things were to get serious my family would be horrified at him
having three kids By three different women.
I really like him and things are so good between us, but I admitted last night that this was a lot for me to process and did concern me longer term.. he has backed off a bit 😕 I feel confused

anitt · 27/02/2018 07:34

Well Lost - for a start its nice that he's being honest and upfront about them rather than letting you find out about them later on!

Personally as you say, it would just be a lot for me to process and I would probably take a couple of days to sort my head out. But when you say 'from young' - do you mean he had them when he was young? In which case, many people make mistakes and are completely different people from who they turn into once they mature.

My main question is - what is he like now? If he has turned out alright, try not to let his past influence you too much.

Kinunir · 27/02/2018 08:05

Lost I echo what anitt said re: it should be about who he is today rather than in his past. A couple of things though - can you cope with a severe special needs child? Super admirable and awesome if you can but definitely takes a very special person to do that. And can you deal with the familial pressure?

Lostlily · 27/02/2018 08:08

Yeah he had one when he was just 19 and she was adopted. The other was when he was 24 but that was a ONS and he knew nothing about her until 14 years later.
It’s juat knowing these kids are out there and obviously his dd EVERY weekend who is very disabled, doesnt speak, is incontinent, needs a lot of care and like days, he will be looking after her all of her life... it’s all a big deal

Lostlily · 27/02/2018 08:26

I think I could deal with the special needs child.
The others were/are a shock
He has a past, like all of us do. But he is now 45 and very ‘together’ pen place, good job, financially sound and confident and we seem really into eachother. I just worry about all the baggage and if the other kids come to haunt him and stuff

pudding21 · 27/02/2018 10:06

Lostlily I don't think that would necessarily put me off, but I would not think of it as baggage, he has a history, from when he was young and don't we all have something? And its his baggage, not yours and if in the future it becomes an issue, then deal with what comes up, least he was honest, he didn't have to mention the two children from when he was young at all. And if he has his daughter with special needs every weekend it shows he is a good guy in a lot of ways. I guess logistically it could cause issues, but see how things go?

BeenThereDating · 27/02/2018 10:32

Lost in your shoes I'd bail at this point. I'd like to pretend I'd be generous-spirited enough to understand about his severely disabled child but, quite frankly, I'd resent the fact that my partner was unavailable for outings every weekend and after six months or so I'd probably be channelling anger and general pissed offness.

The other kids I'm less fazed about and if you're happy with a man that's learned from some life lessons then your family will come round. He can't be judged for a ONS and he can't be judged for not knowing he had a child.

As for earlier children I'd want a man who was in my life to be in his child's life once he knew about their existence (provided the child wanted that) so I'd judge negatively if he didn't have contact where it was welcome.

As for 'haunting' what exactly do you mean by that? Money, guilt? He seems pretty adjusted to stuff so is it more about them haunting you?

MargoLovebutter · 27/02/2018 10:33

Lostily, that disclosure would weigh heavily on me for a while too. I'd have to really think about it all. I agree as others have said that you need to judge him for who he is today and how he behaves today.

I disagree with pudding21 on this one and think he absolutely did have to disclose having two other children from when he was young. Bringing children into this world is serious business in my book and involvement or otherwise in their lives thereafter - however that has panned out, is also significant. However, that maybe more about how I feel, than others do.

On a lighter note, I have a date this evening with Mr Wales, brought forward from Thursday!!!!!! Smile

Kinunir · 27/02/2018 10:49

Woot! Woot! Margo May he chill the parts the snow cools down... Grin

Kinunir · 27/02/2018 10:50

Or warm. I need more coffee!!!!!

BeenThereDating · 27/02/2018 10:51

Ooh Margo how exciting!

Vet well Mr Cut'n'Paste caught your eye one way or another. At least he's closer than Mr Ireland possibly not though. Unleash your inner Spaniel and bound over for a sniff. You never know!

Ginny70 · 27/02/2018 11:09

Right sorry for delay in replying to cover and been: it's been a bit full on, but today everything has stopped for the snow.

I think I might do what you did Been and not put up a photo initially.

Kin You've been busy!

Vet and others: Spaniels are my favourite dogs - Had 3 growing up and one in marriage. As you say, mentallists ... but in a good way Grin ... I think I go for spaniel men Hmm.

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