How to find out if he is lying

[Pomeranio9834]

I will preface this by saying I am not looking for pages upon pages of "LTB! HE'S OBVIOUSLY CHEATING ON YOU". At the end of the day, we have a generally good relationship and I'm not going to throw it all away for something that might not even be an issue.

Basically, I logged into DPs emails for a legitimate reason, and saw that he had ordered a STI test from an online pharmacy. Now I committed problem number one which was immediately messaging him and asking if he had something to tell me. I should have kept quiet and see if he mentioned it.

So he phones and tells me (again, I know this would be the first excuse anybody would use, but still) it's not for him. It is for his apprentice at work who had gone home with somebody at the weekend and was worried. To embarrassed to go to the clinic (he is only 17) and his mum controls his bank account (This is actually true - has come up in conversation way before) so couldn't order it himself.

DP swears blind it's not for him, when would he have had the time (true), wouldn't do that to me, certainly wouldn't still be having sex with me if he thought he had something, why would he bother when if he wanted to go shag other people he would just move back to his own place and call it a day, he would have deleted the email if he was trying to hide it etc.

I have pointed out that if the test comes back positive, the prescription will be in his name and therefore he will have to collect it etc.

SO. I am inclined to believe his story. BUT the seed of doubt has now been firmly planted unfortunately.

Can any mumsnet geniuses help me work out any way I can possibly find out if this is a lie because I can't think of anything.

Again, please no pages upon pages of has definitely cheating on you because it's not helpful and will just wind me into a hateful rage and I might end up murdering him when he comes through to bed, Which if it is all true will be a bit if a shame really.

Plus, the final nail in the coffin is he was complaining of a sore testicle last week (Is that even a symptom of an STI?!?!) but was very open about it and let me have a poke around and feel etc but now combined with the above has just added fuel to the fire.

The apprentice could have just gone to the doctor and wouldn't have had to pay for the tests . Also a 17 year old going to a work colleague about his sexual health ...just doesn't even sound right.

Someone mentioned earlier that sore testicles is a sign of chlymidia (really can't spell) , they're correct .

If I were you OP I would get yourself checked out , and not just for a standard test , for herpes too, they can do this via bloods I think if you don't have any actual symptoms ( which can be the case in many instances ) .

I don't like the sound of your DP xx

Just read your update , apols it must have skipped page 4 . Glad it's sorted . A happy ending to a thread xxx

LOL at an apprentice going to his boss to cover for him doing an STI test...

Sorry OP.

Glad you're happy with things at present.

So ran this one past my DP last night and he made a valid point that whilst any of the guys in the trade might get a kid the test they would rip the mick out of him and everyone would know. He also said he would come home and tell me all about it as it’s funny.

In my personal experience we believe these things, even though we really know it's bullshit, as a form of self protection.

Glad all appears ok OP.

Totally off topic but what is snap chats archive I have never heard of this?

I have also acquired the log in for the online pharmacy, so I will know when it's received by them. DP said apprentice is going to wait a week or so so if it is received before then that will be a red flag to consider. Plus I'll see the results and if it's positive then so will mine be and that'll give me an answer.

Snapchat archive - if you log into Snapchat on a computer you can download a list of Snapchats sent and received to whom (but not the actual pictures)... takes a few hours to do though

I don't think any of this sounds plausible to be honest. Its one of the most personal and embarrassing things to admit you may have an STD, admitting this to a co worker and asking them to get a test.. I just don't see it. Added to the fact he went to the toilet when asked to text him and he has two phones so easily could have warned him and most likely did. Whether you get a clear test of not..
If it really happened the way he said it did why not tell you, I mean its something most people would be rushing home to tell their partner, i,e guess what happened to me today in work kind of thing.

I understand your point and really wished I had waited until I got home and see if he mentioned it, because if true it's definitely something he would have said whilst making dinner but the red mist descended

I'm keeping a close eye.

I've actually changed the login for the online pharmacy so I'll know anything before he does and he wont be able to log in and check it

Personally I would rather pay for a test than be seen nipping into the GUM clinic and having to face the embarrassment of being swabbed by a complete stranger especially when I could pay for a test and do it in the comfort of my own home.
Also my dad and brother were tradesmen with their own businesses (painter & decorator and builder) in their younger years and helping out the apprentice with personal stuff isn't unheard of. In fact for a lot of young apprentices this is the first time they've been let off the leash as it were and they need guidance from the more experienced of the workforce. Something like this would happen and my mum probably would have washed their clothes too because she was kind like that. It's not the same in office work at all. So I understand people not knowing this.

behold I've known apprentices in three different workplaces (including, funnily enough, an office!) have their laundry done by someone at work who's taken them under their wing. Not that this is particularly relevant, other than demonstrating that the paternal/maternal dynamic is often there.

Slightly more relevant is that at a similar age, my DSS worked on a site and his STI was common knowledge.

Like I said upthread, for some it's better to be teased for having sex than for not having sex - I think DSS wore his "little problem" like a badge of honour