What do men typically tell their affair partner about their marriage?

[Weareyourfriends]

My friend is having an affair with a married man. He has obviously told her some things about his marriage to make her feel better about being involved with him.I am willing to bet that women on here who have either been involved with a married man or whose partners have strayed can predict the things that he's told her - so what do you think they are? If the answers come back as accurate as I expect, I will show her this thread to help her understand that what he is told her is absolutely classic - and therefore likely not true.

It's not really gloating, but I can see why it comes across that way when 99.99% of people tell you he had to be lying to me and stringing me along when it just happened to be the truth.

He had to cage the real him?! Lolz are you dating like, Wolverine?!

No-one has said ‘had to’ or ‘always’...

In your case the things he said may have been true but the fact he left his wife tells you nothing at all about whether they were true or not or even whether he believed them to be true or not.

Also, even if they are true, what you have is a man who deals with those feelings by having an affair rather than communicating with his partner and leaving. So, good luck with that, though I suppose given you did the same he’s going to be able to have just as much trust in you as you are in him!

Not really gloating. Not bloody much. You gloated all over your own thread and now you're here. Go away. Ruining people's lives is not funny, you're not clever. You've also got a glitter covered turd as a partner. Good luck with that.

I've heard it all and it appears the reasons for cheating vary from boredom and opportunity to securing the next woman before they unhook from the current woman.

And since some of these men are indeed looking for the next relationship and not just sport fucking, I suppose some women will get involved thinking this might be one of those Tarzan things and they really will be the next name on his list of primary relationships.

It is truly liberating to cease all romantic relationships with men - single, married, "separated" or otherwise. I highly recommend it. Having this mindset makes dealing with all of the married men so much easier. They still try and they still lay out their stories, lies and justifications, but a firm commitment to celibacy is how the story will end - and you know that in the beginning. It's just easier.

It is truly liberating to cease all romantic relationships with men - single, married, "separated" or otherwise. I highly recommend it. Having this mindset makes dealing with all of the married men so much easier. They still try and they still lay out their stories, lies and justifications, but a firm commitment to celibacy is how the story will end - and you know that in the beginning. It's just easier.

I thought I was fairly isolated in thinking like this. I show no interest whatsoever, barely make eye contact if I can help it. Life and my mental health is a lot better and easier since I gave up on men.

A lot of these reasons may be 'true' but they're still no reason to cheat nor justification for taking up with a MM. They're reasons to sit down with one's spouse and either say 'how can we fix this' or 'I no longer love you and I want a divorce'. Either of those leaves both parties with their dignity and honour intact.

Enough responses OP?

I think if you allow yourself to get involved with a MM, you shouldn't be all that surprised if he lies to you in order to persuade you to become involved with him, and then continues to lie in order to keep you with him. He hardly has a track record for honesty, does he??

Well well ...if you decide to be give up on men or to become homosexual just because you had a relationship with a married man then you learnt nothing: imho the positive way to progress forward of you were the OW would have been to understand:
1-why did you go with a married man in the first place? Did you need another woman (the spouse) to validate him.first? Did you enjoy being compared to her and saw in sex with him a proof that you are better than her? (Of it is just for sex because you found him.sexy etc then I am sure you would not have stopped seeing men after him...)
2-it is wrong what you did. Morally. and it is also degrading to you. You should not say morre men-but just no more men already in a relationship.
3- you have hurt the spouse/partner. Sometimes beyond healing. Sometimes you threw her and her kids into hell. luckily quite often the partner and her kids come out of it stronger. You were just that nightmare that crossed their life and threw light on all their blessing.
4- you were desperate and pathetic. You can work yourself out of this state. you can apologize to the partner/his family. You can help them out of the hell you threw them in. You can just keep far from them if they have rebuilt it all.you can start building your character/body/heart and try to bring a free man to appreciate you for who you are

Kids - those two posters were saying they have given up on men because they aren’t willing to risk being cheated on, not that they are OW.

Thank you offred. I thought it was clear

offred thank you very much for pointing to me my terrible mistake. missgame you were clear..I was stupid..I just go quickly through posts. If I want to reply to them I MUST re-read them carefully...my sincere apologies! It is just human to avoid putting yourself in a situation where you have been deeply hurt in the past...if you are happy (or just content -happiness is often overated) then who am I to judge? 🌸🌹🌻🌼