Ahhh...cheating bastard bingo!
We haven't had sex for months/years.
We don't sleep in the same room
We're like brother and sister
We're already separated we're still living in the same house for practical/financial reasons
She's already met someone else (ie she cheated first therefore I'm justified - usually a lie anyway)
Claims of wife being abusive
Claims of wife being ill and that's why he can't leave (mental illness particularly popular as it covers several awkward issues "why does nobody know?" "Because she's embarrassed", "I can't leave because she'll self harm/commit suicide/have a breakdown" - pretty much ensures ow won't put pressure on him to leave/tell wife, "she doesn't look ill" well mental illness doesn't look obvious)
Claims of wife being unsupportive of THEIR stresses
"I mean, 'my wife doesn't understand me'.....really?
how do you even keep a straight face?" They don't say it that bluntly it's more subtle. "X y z stressor happened to me and she was too wrapped up in pending promotion to provide me the support I needed" type thing.
That they were "trapped" into the marriage (my ex tried that bullshit with his mother - she bollocked him! "Don't be pathetic! Nobody held a gun to your head!")
That their DC were unplanned even unwanted by them.
"I've tried so hard to make it work" omg yes - when what they mean is they once bought petrol station flowers on a non-event day and expected a fucking medal and a bj!
My ex mainly did the "she doesn't understand me" and "we haven't slept together/are already separated" crap - I was being very supportive of stress he claimed he was feeling due to promotion at work, we were discussing plans to ttc no 2 and definitely having regular sex. Complete bullshit he told now wife 2. She was v young and naive at the time. Prior to us discussing her mother (not much older than me) said to her he was probably lying.
Mindhunter - yes I've known a couple of cheating men caught out on that one - the wife they're supposedly not sleeping with becomes pregnant - and of course naturally at a certain point it becomes public. Then it's "it was a one off for old times sake just unlucky she fell pregnant" or "it's not mine, but she feels awful and doesn't want people to know" 🙄
"Why are these all likely to be lies? Surely if he was in a happy, secure relationship he wouldnt be having an affair?" 😂😂😂 ok then. Besides the fact it IS usually bull, if he's THAT unhappy he should
A be trying to resolve it with his wife or
B leaving her before he even THINKS of starting another relationship
NOT coming onto someone else behind her back!
"So the women you’ve lived with for 20 years, had kids with, have finances with doesn’t understand you? Well what chance would I have? Get lost" excellent response love it!
"and I don't blame people for looking for a bit of happiness elsewhere to be honest" oh really? Are you cheating already? Or think it could never happen to you?
"The same shit cheating women say." Oh definitely, cheating women just as bad.