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Original poster

Have you cheated on a partner... and have you done it more than once?

133 replies

Flamesparrow · 01/05/2007 16:33

Feel free to name change for this!!!

Read sooo many times this morning words to the effect of "once a cheater, always a cheater".

So... have you cheated on a partner?

If so, have you done it more than once (ie to the same person or cheated on multiple partners)?

If you have only done it once, do you think you ever conceivably could again?

PLEASE ladies - this isn't a "lets stone the unfaithful" thread - it is about finding out if it is a fair assessment, and whether or not we should trust again if it is a "one off".

OP posts:
Pruni · 01/05/2007 19:51

Message withdrawn

ArtichokeTagine · 01/05/2007 19:54

Have snogged 3 guys when drunk. Each time it has been infront of DH . I don't drink now. It does bad, bad things to me.

whossorrynow · 01/05/2007 21:05

yes, and it was a VERY BAD thing to do - not just in the moral sense but in the fact that our relationship was over and i should have just ended it. Instead he found out (I let him) and all hell broke loose, I stayed for a couple more years out of guilt, then it ended anyway.

I firmly believe two things about affairs

  1. they are the symptom of a relationship in trouble
  2. the 'innocent' party needs to take a good hard look at what they might be contributing to their partner's yearning for an affair, if they want to save the relationship.

Would I do it again? NO! If my other half did it to me, would it matter? only because it meant he was unhappy and I needed to fix something

Daisypops · 01/05/2007 21:29

DP noa nd never will

I was unfaithful to my ex who was a complete tosser. Slept with my ex boss . I'm not proud of it but I loved the attention and flirting. Only did it once.

maltesers · 01/05/2007 22:21

yes a couple of times. my ex dp did not want sex and just ignored me most of the time. so although it was a bad thing to do feel it was kind of justified. Know its not the answer but hey ... we are only human. have learnt a lot and am wiser now.

expatinscotland · 01/05/2007 23:39

I agree with sinnedalot and dancingtina in that it is VITAL to find someone you're sexually compatible with AND that some folks just aren't able to stay monogamous.

Doesn't mean such folks are necessarily bad, if they're honest about who they are with their partners.

You know.

I'm not really in a position to throw stones, given my past, and I do know people who married men who either weren't sexually compatible with them or, worse still, became sexually incompatible with them.

It happens.

BravdTheHublander · 01/05/2007 23:41

i cheated on every single partner i had before dp, i was incapable of remaining faithful, even with a guy i lived with and was 'in love' with

5 years with dp and haven't strayed

UnquietDad · 01/05/2007 23:43

No - with previous partners only because the opportunity never presented itself. With DW - because I don't want to.

Oblomov · 01/05/2007 23:46

No. Never. It comes down to personality / morals.
You either do or you don't.

Wotzsaname · 01/05/2007 23:47

Its not just about sex is it? If you are happy with your partner (with or without sex, for whatever reason) you would not lie or cheat.

expatinscotland · 01/05/2007 23:48

I don't think it's just about sex, I agree.

Oblomov · 01/05/2007 23:49

God everyone here is unfaithful. I must be so naive. I thought it would , statistically, be the other way round.
I am truley shocked

Hillls · 01/05/2007 23:49

No never but he did on many occassions.

Londonmamma · 01/05/2007 23:52

No, never. Am sure it would be the end of the marriage if I did.

twinsetandpearls · 01/05/2007 23:53

I have never been faithful until dp.

Have only had one partner before dp that I wanted to be faithful to and only cheated on him after a lot of heartache and repeated tempatation.- it was to my future husband.

I rarely meet a man who is my match if thatdoes not sound too vain and arrogant - and if it does who cares I have had a few glasses of vino to celebrate finishing my nights plannig and marking before midnight.

UnquietDad · 01/05/2007 23:55

I knew someone at college who made sure his girlfriends "overlapped". He didn't dump one until he had the next ready to roll. Almost had to admire his businesslike approach.

Wotzsaname · 01/05/2007 23:55

I never sad I was unfaithful. Never to DH.

twinsetandpearls · 01/05/2007 23:56

The partner that I cheated on whom I loved sexual compatibilty was an issue, I loved him to bits but although he was very willing and eager he just did not hit the spot. Does not escuse my cheating as it was wrong and something that gives me a horribole acid in the stimach guilt feeling to this day.

expatinscotland · 01/05/2007 23:56

I did that, too, UD.

I once even had three men on the go.

expatinscotland · 01/05/2007 23:57

I think it's best to have sex early on, because sexual compatibly is very important, and if you're not good in the sack together, at least you know early on before you get too emotionally invested and then you convince yourself you'll be happy long-term because you're 'in love'.

The world's a big place.

Move on. Find someone else.

UnquietDad · 01/05/2007 23:58

expat - were you one of those people who was always the dumper, never the dumpee?

expatinscotland · 01/05/2007 23:58

No, I've been dumped plenty.

Sometimes even before there even was a relationship .

But I've done my share of dumping, too.

Wotzsaname · 02/05/2007 00:03

I have cheated on multiple partners before marrying. I married DH and that was final. I love him even if for whatever reason I was not able to have sex with him again, I will love him and not cheat on him till my dying day.

There, in pixles on mn.

twinsetandpearls · 02/05/2007 00:05

He was my first sexual partner so I although I had a feeling the sex wasn;t great I had no one to compare with - and I loved him more than any man than I have ever met until dp with that intensity thatonly a first love commands. As I am typing this I can feel those butterflies going! But I made the mistake of soending some time alone with the man I would later marry and you could cut the sexual tension between us with a knife, it was electric and I eventually gave in and the result was quite mindblowing and no matter how much I loved my boyfriend I could not shift the images in my mind of my future husband.

UnquietDad · 02/05/2007 00:05

I must be unusual, I have never dumped anyone. Not actively, anyway...