Partner commenting on celebrities

[pinkmonkeysprinkles]

I have never posted before and i feel really silly but i am hoping to get some perspective.

I have been with partner 4 years. We have a very good sex life and he is complimentary of me always. I work out a lot and am a size 8 . People say i am attractive. I am 28 but have very low self esteem/
confidence.

At the start of relationship my oh would comment on celebrities being attractive etc and i said - i know she is / i have no issue with you looking - just pleas don't tell me as i do not look like that and it fills me with huge insecurity! I have reminded him of this a couple of times over years!!!!

I have no issue with him watching porn as i believe this is a relief and i do not think these women are beautiful!!

So last night i got all dressed up for some adult time - we had a few drinks and he said
'last night i ended up watching Baywatch to perv on some sexy women'.

Immediately i wanted to cry !!
I explained this made me feel suddenly so inferior and why had he told me this when i am sat in my bikini and heels!!( he suggested this- i guess i know why now!!!)

I know he loves me
He compliments me
We have a great sex life
He apologised and said - they are celebrities- they spend hours in make up!! i think your gorgeous. He said - i would never be jealous of you liking celebrities !!!

But it made me feel so so sad and stupid and pathetic and about an inch big. I didn't realise he watched films just to perv on women. Porn fine. But these films stars are gorgeous and i feel so inferior. I suppose I hate that he has been able to make me feel so insecure.

All night i kept thinking of it and i have woken up this morning so upset. I just know i will be thinking of this all week now.

Please someone tell me to snap out of it/ grow up/ accept it.
Thank you for reading!!

also dressing up is fine! And fun. But you have to do it with someone you feel safe with and happy with

I have to be honest- I've been miserable for alot of the time. I need to leave but bottle it every time!

Thank you for all your kind replies . I need to work on my self confidence and esteem. I need to leave this relationship and focus on myself.
Other half and i had a big argument this morning as he suddenly said - last night you were irrational,grow Up!!!! He then said I have ruined today because of last night!!
I have left his house and decided I need to have some time out from him and get courage to leave him.

Thank you so much for your replies

I'm guessing he wasn't sitting there in red shorts, chest wig and a flotation aid a la Hasselhoff whilst this conversation happened then

He then said I have ruined today because of last night!!

Classic manipulation - took me a long time to figure out that's what was happening to me. He knows he's wrong but refuses to admit it, so projects onto you. Minimising your discomfort when you've told him how his remarks upset you? Congrats, you've landed an A1 arse.

Do yourself a favour and save yourself a miserable future which I assure you will affect you on every level; run fast and run far. Find a good counsellor who will help you unravel why, deep down on some level, you have attracted him. You deserve nothing but genuine love and respect, the kind found in a healthy relationship. Develop that love and respect for yourself and you'll fly, my friend.

Wishing you all the best

MissMary
Or a bikini and heels - there's a thought...

Just dump the inadequate little shit

Jesus. He said he watched Baywatch to perv on other women while you were sitting there in a bikini. That would make my vagina shrivel up and die!! Sounds like a dick head.

You're in a vulnerable position (as in your self esetem that is, half naked being sexy for him) and he decides to say he was getting off on looking at other women. You were in the perfect position to be belittled. He's a cock, I'd get rid.

I sense that some of your issues relate to you father and his behaviour. He didn't leave you or your mum because of how you looked. He went off with a 16 yo child. HE is the one with the problem not you or your mum. Honestly your knob head boyfriend sound vile. You must find a good decent man who will really appreciate you. Get out before you get in too deep. Please do not get pregnant. With this man i would use double or even triple protection.

Leave very soon and start the rest of a great life!

But it made me feel so so sad and stupid and pathetic and about an inch big

This is your truth. Not the “he compliments you always” which you might be mistaking for his loving you. Words are cheap: lip service.

It sounds like you are a prop in his relationship centered on his nobby needs.

You are the good enough for now girl. Sorry.

Call time on the relationship- you can say it has just run its course. Move on. Good luck