Valentines gift or ideas for 50 year old woman in new relationship? Please help a useless bloke!

[locrog]

I don't like Valentine's as it is priced up hyped up and contrived. I prefer to be spontaneous and give when I am confident my partner would like the gift and it is unexpected ideally.

I have known my 50 year old date, for a year socially and we got on very well on the few dates we have had. She has a reasonable job and is financially secure in a nice neighbourhood. I know she likes flowers and is probably a bit of a romantic.

Red roses seem to denote love and that is a tadge too soon? Or would that be just seen as a fun thing to send on Valentine's? Or flowers that are not roses that are quality but small? And or small box of expensive chocs, and/or box or say prosseco. My aim is to get it right with not OTT but a nice gift/gesture she would like. No budget as such just appropriate for the early stage in our dating/relationship.

Any ideas please would be welcomed? Bonus but not necessary you send a weblink if you see something appropriate online and I'll check it out.

Many thanks
Loc

Flowers, chocolates and prosecco yawn

I know she likes flowers but that is basically what every 'useless bloke' will be buying as it involves little to no actual thought about what their partner would like.

Does she have any hobbies? Favourite authors? Likes stationary? Animals?

I would prefer something personal, doesn't have to be expensive, than the usual guff

I’d prefer a thoughtfully purchased book in an area I’m interested in - wrapped by the person (ie Not gift wrapped impersonally) with a nice handwritten card about how they thought I might like the book)

I think flowers are generally a good bet. (Maybe not a dozen red roses.) So, they may be a fairly safe choice, but if you don't know the person very well or what they like I don't think you can go too far wrong with them as a first gift. (Unless they have specifically said they don't like flowers or have an allergy.)

When it's a new relationship, I think it's nice to mark the occasion in some way without going over the top. Books by authors they like are all very well, but unless you know what they've read and what they haven't, it's easy to make a mistake. Chocolates and wine are ok too if you know they like them and haven't said they are on a diet or a 'dry' month. Once you know the person well, then you can try to work out what they really like, but for a new relationship, I'd say play it safe.

I would appreciate flowers / plant, chocolates or fizz. It may be a safe, boring option but appreciated none the less

Well if you know she really likes certain flowers, why not? Expensive chocolates can be, well expensive and not something she would by herself. Or treatment at a local spar/beauty place. Or some that might interest here. Tricky as my view of valentines mirrors yours exactly!

How about a rose bush & hand written card. she can keep it (unlike dead flowers).

Whisky. Really. Expensive. Whisky.

(Or equivalent for her drink of choice.) Nothing stereotypically 'ladylike'. I would not be impressed with chocolates.

But really, ideally something that refers to an interest or topic you've shared with some enthusiasm. Tickets to something, f'rinstance - not West End tat unless that's what you both like - something niche that implies a respect for her taste and discernment. A new exhibition and dinner afterwards, not necessarily on Valentine's day. A drive or flight to somewhere exciting.

Goodness, I can think of a million things that wouldn't be a tedious cliche.

Thank you all very much but still welcome further discussion ideas and I'll go with what 'feels' right. She adores her dog, a Shih Tzu I think, so was going to do a little joke thing separately, for a laugh, sending the some dog chocs and card in the post. Very silly but I think it would appeal to her sense of humour, just so long as I don't forget her! Apart from her dog, I only really know the social thing we are both into, she likes dining out, but can do that anytime, I'll have to do some digging on her interests more before mid week! Otherwise, it will have to be flowers but not roses I guess.

(Btw, you do seem a bit hung up on her age. Why? She probably likes much the same things as she did at 30 or 40 ...)

I dont think age is irrelevant. I’m 50 and was resently working with a 28 year old. Not only do we speak a different language we come from different planets. So yes what they would want for valentines might a million miles from what I would want.

What’s the budget? What are her hobbies?

Everyone’s different. I’d love a short thoughtful handwritten note (in a sweet not shmaltzy card, letterpress for bonus points), a good book. But then i’m not romantic and would prefer more £££ presents (perfume, jewellery etc) at other times and not on V-day.

If flowers, go to a local florist and get a tasteful beautiful bunch with lots of greenery. No glitter, no hearts, no red roses, no baby’s breath.

But then again, i’m picky and not romantic.

Chocs for the dog may backfire as they are toxic to dogs- you may inadvertently send the message you wish her dog dead?

The best gift is your time. Be with her, do something together.
I think the suggestion of a plant is a good one perhaps along with a gift card to the garden center for when the spring inventory arrives.

I doubt we’re helping
You could get a 100 different answers here.

It’s lovely you want to get it right and the jokey dog present is a good idea. As you know she likes flowers and expensive chocolates I’d get them. As DustOff says, stay away from any glitter and red roses and have lots of greenery.

I thibk getting a book as suggested by some is a bad idea as you say you don’t really know what she’s into.

I'm a similar age to your gf and would hate a plant, it's what I buy my nan.

Valentine's Day should be about frivolity I think, not demonstrating that you've thought practically.

I'd appreciate flowers that were hand tied and tasteful, or chocolates that were more expensive and special than I'd buy myself, and I think either of those would be appropriate in a new relationship (jewellery next year!).

I'd think you were mad for sending something to my dog though, regardless of how much I love her!

You can get dogtreat"chocolates" so I doubt he'll send the message he wants the dog dead.

I'd go with something simple - her favourite flowers and chocolates should be fine.

General rule: something small and expensive is better than something bigger. So: small box of Prestat chocolates is better than massive box of cheaper chocolates.

I'm in my 30s and would like a houseplant!

As it's a new relationship I think she'll be thrilled with anything you have mentioned really. Something for the dog and flowers/chocs for her sound lovely.

How about a really nice candle (Jo Malone, The White Company, Elemis, etc)? Something that we usually can't justify frittering money on.
Or a nice Rose bush from David Austin. They usually have amazing names so you might be able to find something that means something to you both.
Or, if you can take a picture of her and her dog, you could buy a nice frame for it. On Not on the High Street you can send photos and get them drawn by an artist...but you probably won't have time to do that now.

If you've only been on a few dates I doubt she's expecting anything personal, you don't know her well enough yet. I dislike the dog-related theme. I adore my dog but would like the focus on me on Valentine's Day, not my kids, not my dog.

Who buys bushes and plants for Valentines?

As someone upthread said, it’s about frivolity! I’m 52 and if Dh gave me a plant or a bush for the garden I’d be very confused.

Stick to some beautiful flowers and a small box of nice chocolates: you can’t go wrong!

Flowers and a nice good quality box of chocs is a good plan

Or a bottle of her favourite liquor if she likes a drink

Oh god as pp said you will get lots of conflicting answers. I am 50 and would prefer a bunch of flowers to a plant, I would give a plant to my mum. I do agree that a small box of really nice chocolates would be better that a big cheap one. Ditto flowers. I think clichés are OK for Valentine's, the whole day is a cliché anyway.

I’d like to be taken out for a really good meal (or have one cooked for me). Failing that, some indoor plants or food for my hens!

I wouldn’t be impressed with the normal flowers/chocs Stuff.

Honestly, I think it doesn't matter too much what it is. Unless it's something garish or inappropriate, most women would appreciate the thought and sentiment.