Valentines gift or ideas for 50 year old woman in new relationship? Please help a useless bloke!

[locrog]

I don't like Valentine's as it is priced up hyped up and contrived. I prefer to be spontaneous and give when I am confident my partner would like the gift and it is unexpected ideally.

I have known my 50 year old date, for a year socially and we got on very well on the few dates we have had. She has a reasonable job and is financially secure in a nice neighbourhood. I know she likes flowers and is probably a bit of a romantic.

Red roses seem to denote love and that is a tadge too soon? Or would that be just seen as a fun thing to send on Valentine's? Or flowers that are not roses that are quality but small? And or small box of expensive chocs, and/or box or say prosseco. My aim is to get it right with not OTT but a nice gift/gesture she would like. No budget as such just appropriate for the early stage in our dating/relationship.

Any ideas please would be welcomed? Bonus but not necessary you send a weblink if you see something appropriate online and I'll check it out.

Many thanks
Loc

If you have a Whittard's shop nearby, they have some nice ideas for gifts, flower teas, fruity hot chocolate, interesting coffees....

Their goods are nicely packaged, and they probably have a few Valentine themed collections ATM, also it would be a less intimate gift than perfume if you felt that would be more appropriate.

Don't want to put the fear of god into you but its got to be well thought-through as people are very personal in their approach to Valentine's and its quite complex.

I loathe the idea of it and find the vast majority of Valentine presents naff tat, but I have in the past been subtly offended by people not marking it at all.

Whatever you do make it personal and tasteful. You can't go far wrong with something which you know she will like and be interested in. If you're unsure, get some tasteful, low-key flowers and take her for a nice dinner. No-one ever got fired for doing that.

I am about the same age, but older.

The thing about chocolates is that, if she is menopausal, she might be having new found difficulty controlling her weight. Where once i would have been happy with chocs, I now inwardly with and try to offer as many as possible to my teen children because,much as I like chocolate, it isn't compatible with keeping on top of my weight.

So if it has to be chocs, just a small box of really posh ones.

Personally, I doubt you can go wrong with a nice bouquet of flowers. Not roses, as you said, too tacky and doesn't make a nice display anyway. Seasonal flowers from the florist is the way to go.

I do have to say though that it does not impress me that you do not know her hobbies. You say you have known her a year socially? Time to start asking about her, I think.

Inwardly sigh

Bath bombs aren't great for peri or menopausal women if their bits are sensitive.

Loc hopefully something here will give you an idea for something that you think your date will like, but you’re not going to get any kind of consensus over what that might be.

The whole thing is about knowing the person you’re with and buying/doing what they will appreciate.

I think flowers, chocolates and prosecco are fine. It's still early on in the relationship and while you want to impress her you don't want to go overboard. Also, it's only Valentine's Day, some people don't make a big deal of it. I'd save the more expensive gifts for birthdays, Christmas.

I have mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day and get cross about the commercialisation of it all. However a lot of small businesses do need the sales boost and I’d suggest you visit a local independent florist, gift shop or delicatessen.

Personally if my DH had put together a little hamper with the ingredients for a candlelit meal at home in the early stages of our relationship I’d have been really pleased (and impressed).

If you aren’t confident enough to do a meal you could always go for the indoor picnic complete with blanket, cushions and candles.

Really nice Prosecco and a posh candle would make my day after a few dates! Well even now after 8 years together tbh! Flowers are too cliche/boring (to me)

Yes to cook her an amazing meal with amazing wine 🍷

I'm the same age. Yes to flowers, but not roses. I think tulips are fabulous, personally. Maybe a card, but not a tacky one, so not a specifically Valentine's Day one. That's it. No to scented candle, unless you know she might like them - lots of people hate them. No to perfume - that's a very personal gift, and, again, lots of people don't like it at all. I would feel uncomfortable if someone gave me perfume in the early stages of dating.

My DH still can't get perfume right. Too risky

Defo mention that you didn’t buy dog chocs as you’re worried she might think you want her dog dead.
And for extra points you should certainly say ‘I didn’t buy you chocolates as you’re likely to be menopausal and struggling with your weight, and bath bombs, well I know that peri or menopausal women can have sensitive ‘bits’ so didn’t get you them either’.
She will love how thoughtful and in touch with Middle Aged dog owners you are and respect your knowledge of menopausal women’s sensitive vadges .

Yes to posh flowers /booze/nice choc (look at hotel chocolate)
I’d also be bowled over if a bloke appeared on my doorstep with a carpet picnic of all my fave foods and some lovely wine and we had an evening in front of the fire of lovely food/chat/booze!
A voucher for a facial/massage would also be amazing.
Chocolate for dog is a lovely idea and i’m sure you knew that human chocolate is toxic to dogs but pet shops do ranges of dog friendly chocolates! I would find it hilarious if my dog got chocolates or a gift wrapped stick or something in the morning and I got nothing (until the evening Obv!!!)

Does the lady like gin? Edinburgh Gin have just released their limited edition for St. Valentine's, or, one of their new ones is "Pomegranate and Rose"

Was in a store recently, you can buy dog beer and prosecco for cats _non alcoholic in the pet aisle. I don't think you can go wrong with bottle of bubbly or a nice bottle of wine and a card.

Massage voucher?

And NICE flowers.
NOT from petrol station. NOT carnations!
From a florist.

OP I think it's impossible to generalise.
I don't drink so Prosecco would be wasted on me.
I love chocolate so I'd be happy with that.
Flowers are pretty too.

To be honest, I don't think it matters really what you give her. As long as you give her something nice, showing that you've tried, it shouldn't matter if it's exactly her thing. After all, you don't know her well enough to be sure of getting it right. If she dismisses your gift without appreciating the sentiment, then she's not worth having anyway.

I would respectfully advise you to ignore a previous poster’s suggestion of a FRAMED PHOTO OF HER AND HER DOG TOGETHER.

DustOffYourHighestHopes

I would respectfully advise you to ignore a previous poster’s suggestion of a FRAMED PHOTO OF HER AND HER DOG TOGETHER.

Actually OP I think you're overthinking this. Card, flowers, tell her she looks lovely, and have a nice evening. She's not expecting anything spectacular. And it's the thought that counts - cheesy I know but it's true.

I gave the age and a little other information only for background as women of different ages may have different tastes or ideas. certainly not hung up on it!

I agree I think you are overthinking this.

A good quality bouquet of flowers should be lovely.

Good luck!

I like your original plan of flowers, chocs or wine!

Red roses don’t mean love IMO, just (nice) standard valentine fare.