This anxiety is killing me!

[MozzchopsThirty]

So before Xmas I was hooked on by a lovebomber
It lasted 4 weeks and totally shook my confidence

I met a guy in January OLD, we've had 4 dates, had great sex, everything fine, then we had a few cross words about sex last night and he said he was annoyed and refused to answer my phonecall to explain

And today he hasn't messaged once

I feel sick, I've barely eaten, I'm so anxious that it's happening all over again

Please be kind, I'm feeling so low

I took propranolol this morning
Have cried a lot
And am now on the wine

I feel like I do when I fly - sick, pre-occupied, tearful, it's awful

You've got too much invested here after only 4 dates and a few weeks. Put the wine away.

I know!!!!

But I like him, we get on great

Why does this keep happening?
I have a successful career, my own home, car etc etc

Did you perhaps have sex too soon? Not meaning this as a moral stance, but it can sometimes be a good idea in pragmatic terms to leave a potential partner wanting more..

What was the argument about?? You're definitely too invested after 4 dates. I'd back off and get yourself under control....he's a man, there's millions of them and not 1 of them is worth this level of anxiety!!

Take a step back. I know you of old and you were always strong and together. Let him come to you and if he doesn't, he wasn't right for you. If he does, be careful and not rush into things again.

It was such a non argument
He was annoyed because he thought I couldn't remember something from the sex on Saturday

I second what Lettucepray said!

I am strong and together (thank you for reminding me )
I ended my marriage and changed my dcs lives because I want happy
I had lots of counselling
I reported a sexual assault
I've just completed a 20,000 word dissertation for my MSc

SO WHY THE FUCK DO I FEEL LIKE THIS?????
I hate it
I hate myself
I hate feeling this way
I hate losing my shit over a man

*wasnt

Sometimes it can be a habit of the mind. Take a deep breath, push the thoughts away. If he stomps off after a ridiculous sounding non-argument you would not want to be with him anyway. It is him who looks bad from this, not you.

It's alone those chemicals mozzy! Oxytocin, serrotonin etc. They flood you when you have have sex especially of you've been deprived for so long of affection.

Maybe you're not ready? Breathe, don't contact him it'll pass. 4 dates in you shouldn't be having disagreements. Look after yourself, walk, hug your family and friends, breathe! It'll be ok.

Hey there. I think from what you’ve said and the way he’s behaving that he’s possibly done you a favour. Do you really want to have a relationship with a guy who can sulk over such a petty thing?
Tell him to grow up, then block him.

Him getting arsy because you dared forget something about the sex you had on Sat is a massive red flag! Dump, run and don't look back, maybe work on your self esteem before you try again?

Mozzy, in addition to what I said, I second everything everyone else has said. It's too early for a potential partner to be arsey about anything. I know it hurts and feels that history is repeating itself - but it is only four weeks (I know that "only" can feel like a very long time when you're vulnerable). I think you might have to put it down to experience, and in a few months' time you'll think you had a narrow escape.

I know you're all talking sense
It's exactly what I'd say to a friend

But there was nothing I didn't like about him, he dressed well, own business, nice car, funny, generous, great in bed, polite, good manners

Yeah but he only managed to keep the "nice" act up for four dates!

I know it feels bad now but you've found out early that he's not what he seemed. And that's good

Chalk it up to experience - first you had the lovebomber, now the sulker, so maybe it will be third time lucky eh? After 4 dates and an argument already, it's time for you to take control. Text him and tell him there will be no further dates as far as you are concerned. Then look after yourself, be proud of who you are and all that you have achieved, and wait a while before dating seriously again.

But there was nothing I didn't like about him, he dressed well, own business, nice car, funny, generous, great in bed, polite, good manners

Apart from he's s stonewaller, sulker and manchild, he's sounds amazing, I agree.

I think you've found something to dislike though - he has temper tantrums over nothing & then blanks you.

Not nice

No that's true!!

Exh could sulk for weeks and totally cut me out
I never want to go through that again

You have soooooo had a lucky escape!! Say thank you to the universe and get back out there.

I had a guy who did that he disappeared for 5 months then came back and thought everything would be fine told him to go away if he can be like this now he may always be like it your worth more then that

Sorry you are feeling so down.
Over time I have learnt my mother was right when she told me as a teen- You can't go back to holding hands.
Meaning once you level up to holding hands in one relationship then in the next relationship you will expect to hold hands pretty much straight away.
These days having experienced an emotionally and physically intimate relationahip, that is the level I will naturally want to aim for in my next relationship.

Anyway that is my theory for our feeling like this.
I hope you feel better soon. You sound like a very interesting person.

he's a controlling Dick for leaving you isolated like this... I'd struggle to forgive that... regardless of the initial argument