He didn't come home!

[kitkatkath]

Boyfriend went for a few drinks last night said he wouldn't be going mad and still hasn't turned up home.
Tried calling him and texting and his phone is switched on and not getting any response.
Just for background he cheated last year and we have been working through it I really thought he had changed and wouldn't hurt me again but he knows what's going to be going through my head when he does a disappearing act. He hasn't done this since before we had children.
Just want someone to talk me down I guess because I'm struggling to stay calm and I've got my children here.

You deserve so much more consideration than this, please stay angry, how dare he

No sign still?

I can’t believe anyone would be so selfish, I’m sorry you’ve been put through this. How can he be so inconsiderate as to not even let you know he’s ok? And then not turn up the next night?! I’ve seen some behaviour on here but this is a whole new level.
You sound lovely Op, I hope you find the strength to move on with your kids and find someone who deserves you.

Thinking of you - been through similar in the past.

You deserve much better.

So did he come home?

What will you do? For me, it would be the end. I could not live with a man who cheated on me, whp went out on the lash for two days, ignored my calls, who clearly hides and lies about money, who leaves me and the kids without heating whilst he does it.

His brief after thought text belatedly explains the first night, although it shows a total lack of care and clear contempt, it does not even touch on his decision to go for it a second time round. It was like a text to a loose acquaintance whose home he was staying at for the night.

Personally I demand more than some lying cheating waster. What about you?

Morning all I didn't sleep well I should have taken the advice and had that glass of wine! Had missed calls and apologies he apparently spent yesterday trying to sober up before he came home to face me.
I'm trying to get my head straight and strong and I'm going to go spend the day with my mum today and going to talk to my friend on the school run today think I need to get myself busy!

So more lies then? He was trying to get himself straight so he could come home - yet you were told he was out on the lash again? If that was true he would have come home yesterday wouldn't he? Make this the last time OP don't waste any more of your life on one more chance for this 'man'. You deserve better

Once you accept his behavior it becomes the norm - you shivering in the cold having to beg money for the gas while he pisses money up the wall on booze.

You deserve better.

Just wanted to wish you luck and hope you stay strong for the kids and mostly yourself. It’s so hard to find strength sometimes to realise that you deserve better in life. I’ve been there and I had to rebuild my self esteem and confidence from the ground. But once you’ve done it there’s no better feeling that you’ve put yourself first and said ‘no! I deserve better than you’

Thinking of you xxx

Keep the key in the lock OP. This is abominable behaviour I would never even dream that my DH would do this, ever. It wouldn't even enter my wildest imaginings and it shouldn't yours either, never mind happen to you. You and your children deserve much much better than this waste of space and I hope the one good thing that comes out of this horrible situation is that you realise this!

Stay strong

My heart goes out to you. There is some brilliant support from other parents on here who are in fact complete strangers to you and all of whom clearly think more of you and want better for you than your twat of a partner (not really worthy of that title though is he).
This also isn’t just about you. Do you want this behaviour as the role model for you children?
What are the implications of staying with him? Let’s say he never repeats this behaviour ever again. You can never know that for certain. You will never believe any explanation he gives you over the last couple of nights. In the back of your mind you’ll think he’s cheated again. Your trust will be gone again. Your self esteem will plummet yet you will feel compelled to put your little ones first and be selfless. You will be the best Mum you can be when you are the best version of you, you can be. Does being with this guy give that to you? Don’t feel lucky to have him. You should be lucky to have each other. He’s massively disrespected you and your children. My goodness if you did this I’m sure people would be saying what an awful mother you are! Be prepared for the speech of the century, be prepared for his tears and promises and any huge gestures he throws your way. Anyone can do that. It means nothing. He can’t fix how you feel with a bunch of flowers or broken promises. Hold your head up high. Let him have his moment so you never need to look back and then go for hold. You and your dc. You won’t be on your own. Day by day you’ll get your sparkle back. You’ve given him a massive chance once before. He’s just taken advantage of that. You have no regrets xxxxxxxx

I hope today has been OK for you OP.

Just one thing - he absolutely knows this isn't okay. Please don't allow yourself to be treated like this any more.

Been thinking about you today OP. Hope you're doing ok.

Hope you're okay

Hope you're ok!!

Did he eventually try and come home?

Hope you're ok xx

OP, how is the situation now? I hope you're ok

What a selfish man! Kick him to the curb op!