My boyfriend is ignoring me

[gaynor83]

We've been seeing each other for about two months. Both in our thirties. Everything seems great we get on so well and he seems to be genuine and likes spending time with me. We've seen each other or been in contact pretty much every day.
Sometimes he likes to spend time with his friends and I don't hear from him for a day or so but I don't bug him about it.
I saw him the day before yesterday later He went to meet friends..i called him later and he said he was on his way to mine. Then later his phone was switched off. I called once and messaged the next day but no answer to either. He lives with my best friend who's his cousin..when I asked her she said he had been home and left again but had said he was going to call me. I tried again last night and no answer, today it's switched off.
He rarely uses Facebook but today I saw him online and messaged to see if he was ok and he went offline.
I can't think of any reason for him to ignore me...i don't want to ask my friend too much...what should I do? I have mental health issues and feel horrible anxiety about this. But I'm trying not to let it show so haven't been blowing up his phone, it's really making me feel psycho though with the anxiety....

Sorry op, it sounds like he just isn't that interested. He wouldn't be doing this if he was.

I would just focus on yourself and your friends, and see what happens, but I would prepare yourself for him to ghost you as it sounds like he is starting that process.

Yeah sorry but I agree with PP, he's not as invested as you at this stage, if he was he wouldn't be disrespecting you by wasting your time saying he's coming over then not showing, leaving you to worry and ignoring you.

I would take a step back and think about whether you want someone unreliable and lukewarm at a stage where it's supposed to be sunshine rainbows and being crazy about getting to know one another. I sure wouldn't tolerate it from a man I'd been seeing a few weeks.

I just don't understand why he would suddenly do this.. He seems like he is really interested usually and is always in touch. It doesn't make sense. I know we haven't been together long but it's like we've been long term if you know what I mean, we've been really close.

His friends...are into drugs. And he has been too but is apparently trying to distance himself and stop. It seems like this isn't the case. I don't know what to think and my anxiety is through the roof.

This happened to me once before and he eventually admitted that he was having second thoughts about me. It’s a really shitty thing to do to just ignore someone like that instead of being upfront.
I guess something else could have happened in his personal life, but I’m sure he would have been in touch by now with a brief message to say he was busy but would contact soon if there was nothing else to it.
Try and keep busy and don’t keep looking at your phone as you’ll drive yourself mad. If you haven’t heard anything by Monday then i’d start moving on from him if I were you

Do I look a fool by trying to contact him? He's gone off on one before but always gets in touch eventually.

Always gets in touch eventually? Goes off on one? Used to use drugs and has friends that still do?

... and all in two months? this doesn't add up

He has been cheated on before and he always says how important it is to communicate in a relationship..i feel he is genuine but now I don't know. His phone is off again. He must be logging into Facebook from somewhere else.

When he goes to meet his friends he ends up taking drugs I think and being out all night 😣

No youre just doing what anyone else would do in that situation. Worry and feel anxious about what’s going on. If you haven’t heard anything by tomorrow maybe speak to your friend and tell her how much it’s worrying you as you don’t know if he’s ok or not.
Don’t keep texting him anymore though. Leave it for now and try distract yourself

It's 2 months.

Let it go.

I would stop getting in touch. He is clearly more interested on going on a bender. He isn't worth your time. Please don't be so desperate to have a relationship that you accept a completely shit one. You are worth more than that, any woman is.

You've been seeing him for two months. Eight weeks. 56 days. I have food in my fridge older than that. You sound a little stalkerish for only a few weeks. Maybe stop being quite so full on.

Oh OP that sounds rubbish but as difficult as it might be, I wouldn't contact him again. If he wants to contact you he will.

Do you really want a relationship with someone who value drugs more than he values you?

Run.

Do you really want to be dating someone who does drugs so much and is out all night?

I'd leave him to it OP. He sounds like bad news. I think you can do better.

Don't contact him again....and reconsider dating a guy with druggie friends.

I know it certainly isn't ideal. I've not been acting stalkerish...i know it sounds it, guess I do feel that way though 😣
Well I know it's just two months but we've been very close in all that time. I probably shouldn't be so invested. I know it feels like I'm second to drugs and his friends...

I think you have to assume it’s over. As such, stop worrying about him, whether his phone is on or how he is accessing fb. It’s not your problem.

He’s a complete coward for not having the balls to actually tell you he’s no longer interested/ met someone else/ whatever, but that is also not your problem. Luckily it happened after only a few weeks. Delete his number. Onwards and upwards.

You’re not second to drugs and his friends. You’re not on his radar at all by the sounds of things. Sorry that sounds really harsh but he clearly isn’t interested. You’re not going to get any answers out of him and continuing to tr and contact him doesn’t make you look good.

Well what could have changed in just a couple of days...we were fine and now this, doesn't make sense.

It's Normal to feel close a couple months in. It's infatuation. It's not a sign that the relationship is deeper or more meaningful or mature than it is. It's been a few weeks. As others have said, we all have food in our fridges older than this relationship.

With all the issues you've mentioned I can't imagine there's been many good times with how short a time you've been together and how many problems you've had?

Please throw this one back.
It's been 2 months!
He's unreliable.
He takes drugs.
He has druggie friends.
He goes off on one.
He stays out all night.
He gets in touch 'eventually'
Please value yourself more than this.
I'd be tempted to ignore, block and delete.
You KNOW you deserve better than this.
You KNOW you can do better than this.
This is NOT a good one!
I'm assuming you are quite young.
You sound very niaive.
Are you being treated for your anxiety?
And YES - you would look a fool to try to contact him again!!!
Set your bar higher for the next one and don't let anybody over step your boundaries in future.

Some things don’t make sense. It’s sounds like he’s just not that into you.