Brave Babes Battle Bus: Next Stop Fabulous February

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer January so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

lots of snow here now and getting worse. can't see me getting up to Leuchars tomorrow.

Just took me 20 minutes to get my car on my drive removing ice and snow with a shovel and brush. Dare not leave it on our road it’s would be trashed by morning all I could think was I can’t even reward myself with a glass of wine after . I’m off tomorrow so going nowhere.

Hello all. Just checking in to say hi. Doing fine here, plodding along AF. No real highs or lows but maybe this is the new normal.

One thing which is helping me lots (never having been able to do much in moderation) is starting to address diet and other bad habits I’ve been in for years but never had the energy (due to drink) to try to face. So I’ve gone veggie again, am really focussing on what I’m eating and my long term health, my sleep and exercise.

None of this is rocket science and I didn’t have the bandwidth to start even thinking about it for the first AF month, when treats on every front are definitely the order of the day. But I am now reading lots of good stuff (I’ve talked before about Why We Sleep which I found a fascinating book - and I’m now reading Brain Food by Lisa Mosconi which is interesting and salutary too). It gives me something to ‘do’ instead of drinking of an evening - something to take charge of and be in control about. My family is frankly bewildered by the amount of flax, hemp and chia seeds making their way into the house!

What scares me is how much I’ve ignored these things - knowingly - in favour of alcohol over the years. Despite having cancer quite recently I still ploughed on with drinking and bad lifestyle choices. I’m not sure how much of a wake up I was waiting for, particularly since the links between alcohol and my type of cancer were pretty strong.

I’m equally not sure why the message seems - touch wood - to be ‘sticking’ this time round. Some of the damage I’ve done to my health may not be reversible but other parts definitely are and I am really focussing on trying to redress those.

Sorry, this post turned out to be heavier than I’d intended - I really just popped on board to say hi and give support to all who are having a rubbish time. There sure is some crap out there, and we sure as hell don’t deserve it. We’re so strong and so brave, but some of the time frankly we shouldn’t have to be fighting as hard as we are. Keep on keeping on, babes.

Even snow here and we usually escape the worst of it. DD's school was closed today. WB holed up in a flat with no heating and still no word. Hate him but am worried he will get ill. But what can I do? He left. After a row he started. At a time calculated to hirt me, the kids and my career. To make us all sorry. I can't be made to feel guilty, can I? He is just so pathetically spiteful he will cut off his nose to spite himself.

*hurt. No excuse for typos and bad spelling.

Evening all - well I managed to make the 3 hour round trip out of London and to the client on 2 tubes and a train, all of which were on time. A bloody miracle considering I was out for 12 hours today.

p[;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;swsx3

So that was my cat typing - thought I'd leave that in for good measure! He is constantly walking across the keyboard and / or collapsing on me.

sequins a lot of your post resonates with me too. I reset myself in April 2013 when I stopped drinking wine and I was teetotal almost a year. I don't feel I have ever missed out for not drinking wine any more and my life is also so much better. I am very much in control of all aspects of what I'm doing - yes I drink beer, but it does not control me, nor is it the main focus of my life (as wine was).

I am sure it's not a coincidence that my career has soared in the last 5 years and a lot of good things have happened to me.

I also haven't made a twat of myself being so drunk that I do something terrible since that time either - nor do I worry about doing so.

Anyway, 31 days now marked on my Dry Jan app for 2018. Apparently I have saved £244, 11.7 calories and 142 units of booze.

Hugs to bear and babes. xxx

jayne - well done on a week (sorry missed a few posts here)!

fox - I know what you mean. Drinking can be all consuming. These days I am very much washed, brushed and exercised, and eat a million times better than I did. It feels good. x

Skinny dog getting ready to do the time warp on the beach this morning

Fox great post - thank you ! So good to hear you sounding so positive about self health. You made me grin about your family and the seeds off to look up those books x

Love your dog spanna - I'm a cat person but occasionally I see a dog I like! I got quite partial to a couple of sausage dogs in Cuba. x

Twattage I love a sausage dog especially that advert with loads of them dressed as hotdogs makes me laugh like a drain!

Gorgeous pic, Spanna. I just wrote ‘I want to be your dog’ but that sounded weird - but wow, what a fab life for a skinny dog, and what a lucky dog s/he is to live with you.

Evening all, it's been a few days. There's no way I'm going to manage to name check everyone so I won't try.

I'm so tired. Awful commute to work today thanks to the snow. I was so stressed out driving. I've always lived walking distance to my jobs so having to drive in adverse weather has come as a bit of a shock. DS has made his first snowman! Not with me as I was at work. Bit gutted actually. I don't know how people cope with this weather regularly (thinking of Ma, Mint and any other Babes properly up north... or East or South as it seems to be at present!)

I've been invited out with work on Saturday. I can't decide if I can be trusted or not. As Flowers said a while back I'm almost scared to drink now. I'm on day 58 today I think.

Twattage Hope your Dad's continuing to improve. I don't think most of us have any issue if you post about drinking. I certainly don't. My understanding was always that this thread is for moderators too.

Jayne I found posting a lot at the start really helpful. Well done on your first week.

Small Good post. I'm also looking more at diet this year. I'm trying really hard to cook our meals from scratch too. It's not something I would have ever done whilst still drinking.

Hope everyone stays safe in the snow. Ours has almost melted thank fuck At least if we get snowed in the bus we can't buy any drink!

Sheesh, just had to but in to the 'dogs who are well off' conversation. My three (who look a bit like yours Spanna, lurchers) got new memory foam mattresses for their beds today with furry covers - there's still one lounging on the sofa now though . Our mattress is about 10 years old and badly needs replacing, but the living room looked a mess with the tatty dog beds so it isn't just about pampering the pooches!

You may or (more likely) may not , recall that I was trying to calorie count in Feb. I proudly announced the 5lb weight loss in the first week. I lost another pound the second week....and have not been on the scales since cos its all gone to pot. I need to get that in control, seriously.

Ah well. Still not drinking. DH's birthday on Thursday. I am trying not to project.

Evening,
Greetings to all, too many to namecheck, hugs to all having a bad time, especially ma, hope, mint

I’m still here, had a couple of days in the sidecar over the weekend, but it was bloody cold in there so have clambered back onto Gerald.

The DJ app says I’ve done 40 days af out of 58, I’ve saved about £350 and a whole lot of calories. I should be as skinny as spanna’s dog but I’m not.
My dog had her first taste of proper snow today, and she didn’t like it. We walked about half a mile and she turned for Home. She’s a Labrador ffs!

In bed now and about to read my book, while h watches drivel and necks wine downstairs.

Night x

hope it's all manipulation. he can move in with his sister if he is cold - or arrange for the heating in the flat to be turned on. So much easier to give advice to someone else rather than deal with my own crap!
If he's complaining he is cold to dcs, drop off a bin bag of his jumpers and a spare duvet. Stay hard.

Hi all. Fox I too have chia and flax seeds and eat them with my porridge in the morning. Not got hemp seeds though so will investigate. I must be the healthiest I've ever been but have a bloody headache.... think it seems to be the after effects of the flu.
Twat sounds like you're doing v well with the moderating

Wave to everyone else. I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open. Night all

Morning all
Sequins a lot of what you said yesterday also resonated with me and I think I am at the stage now where my mindset is changing so I am hoping that I can be kind to myself and put myself first sometimes. I have sort of started to realise recently that even though I (think) I am a strong person I am also quite a soft touch and get talked into doing things that ultimately don’t work for me albeit for friends and family where there has to be a bit of give and take. I’ve started to realise that I’m more of the giver and when you give more people take more.
Fox your post was also inspirational and made sense to me.
Twattage I am so pleased to hear that your career has soared in the last 5 years and you have had good things happening since you have moderated your drinking.
Thanks as well to Sweet,Spanna,Hope,Baking,Mint,ma and all of you lovely ladies (too many to nc) on here who speak so much sense and are so supportive.
I am getting so much from reading on here and associating myself with all of you good people.
Anyway today we are under a lot of snow and most of the trains have been cancelled so I will probably work at home. It seems pointless going in when I can work just as well (actually better) from home.
Have a good day everybody

Morning all - I am also getting so much out of this thread combined with my Dry Jan app. I really feel like that dark month of December 2017 where I thought I was slipping back into bad times, is well behind me now.

Best to remain vigilant though I think - that is all part of my different mindset now.

Day 32 dawned - I looked out of the window and there was snow so sent a team whatsapp to say I'm not going in. I was due to be WFH tomorrow and Friday anyway so I don't need to go client-side again until Monday now - hurrah!

Right - better get on with work. Have been doing things on and off since 6am since I was awake anyway.

Have a good day all. xxx

Just realised I have not spoken to another adult about non work rrlated issues since Saturday. 4 weeks to my big holiday, tons of work to do and no idea what is happening in my home life. Every now and then I start to panic.

My big trip of a lifetime will be ruined wondering what is happening here and worried about DS. I feel so alone and frightened. It's like trying to deal with someone who is having a mental breakdown

except I'm not dealing... cannot bring myself to get in touch even to talk practicalities. I've known him 24 years and yet have no idea who the bastard is

What do I do???

hope ok, breathe. You NEED to talk to other adults about this. You have friends whose kids have grown up with yours...who is closest and most supportive? Tell them. they will be appalled and will rally round. they will keep an eye on DS while you are away with DD. DS is a very sensible and strong young man. He will be able to cope while you are away and get himself ready for his trip. DoNOT cancel your big trip. That will be a huge result for WB as he knows how much this trip means to you - and DD. If you cancel he will make sure DD thinks it is your fault. this is all manipulation of Iago-esque proportions!
Mke arrangements for DS to be kept an eye on and continue with plans for your trip. It will show WB once and for all that you don't need him in your life and that without him you all have a better time
Now, who is your first choice friend to turn to for support?

Thanks Ma. I've told 2 friends (one nearby but going through her own stuff and one distant - about 2 hour drive away) and my niece. My niece is my biggest ally and she will keep an eye on DS. My friends are great but at the end of the day there is only so often you can call them and talk through the same shit, they have their own lives, and I will not become that emotional vampire. I don't have any family, which is hard. My boss called me Superwoman yesterday. I don't feel like it!

Sorry for hogging the thread with my rubbish marriage. Hugs to all.

PS it is SO HARD not to drink ATM! But I know that won't help AT ALL