Brave Babes Battle Bus: Next Stop Fabulous February

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer January so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Thanks Sweet - I know you are right.

Thinking of you Hope

Hope which film did you see? Black Panther? I'm not a marvel fan but it's goooood 😁
Still in Spain it's a bit Brrrrr! just checked in on the bus Hope I'm with Ma I wouldn't be going to London unless I had trusted friend or family member to keep an eye on things. WB is an arse, what a fucking Wanker change the locks, pack up his stuff, call him tell him to come get it! I know that's easier said than done. It's your house, you paid for it. You have wanted him to go for some time and this is your opportunity to GET HIM OUT. Life will be so much better. Think about your own sanity. You can do this and your DC will be fine. They will understand, especially when their mum is soooo much happier. Hugs to you my love 💜

Buttonz, I was thinking of you last night. How are you today? Have you got a CPN if not how long until you see your doctor to discuss your meds? My mum has Bipolar she’s the strongest and most caring lady I know, getting the correct meds has been crucial.

My first Saturday whilst I’ve have a weekend off with no hangover for I can’t remember how long!

My daughter is coming round today she knows my situation I’m excited to see her and I will the completely sober.
Saturdays off work usually involved getting up around 9am lying around in PJ’s until I felt sober enough to drive to the supermarket avoiding the kitchen as the pots from 2 days ago were still lingering.

I would go food shopping (buy wine) once home I would throw away a lot of food from my fridge that I had failed to cook the week before (hungry house was my favourite app) and fill it again. All whilst drinking wine. Then I would write my to do list whilst getting progressively pissed about what I needed to do to improve my life, stop drinking being number 1. The irony!

Day 58 dawns with a balmy -2 . The joys of working on a Saturday looms ahead. One reason why I didn't hit the bottle last night.
Have a great weekend you lovely lot.

Congratulations jayne so what is your sober plan?

sweet I loved what you said about stealing the weekend from yourself with wine. Oh how true!!!!

hope hope you are ok. I would stress too much about going have you/ can you change the locks?

buttonz hello - welcome back. I hope you can have your medication reviewed.

ma hope you are ok.

Dh is away this weekend so I'm alone with the dc. This used to be a big wine trigger. No more have some lovely things planned although so tired today!

Hope you have a good day x

Morning all, today is day 55 for me. I won't be drinking. I feel quite positive today after the anxiety of Thursday & Friday.

Buttonz and Hope I hope today is brighter for you both and for anyone else having a hard time.

Jayne I still think twice about driving on a weekend morning - as usually I'd need to wait until after 10. It feels like I have so much more time now I'm not dedicating hours a week to alcohol.

I'm about to have a shower and attempt to drive to a big Asda (as opposed to our local ones) in search of a Paddington costume for World book day. Clearly I've left it late as both stores near me have sold out. I got an age 2-3 yesterday but it's a bit snug and because it's an all in one I'm bothered DS won't be able to get it down in time for the loo.

Saywhen - The plan today is sort out the floordrobe. Wash my bedding and clean my room (baby steps). I can’t even contemplate tackling my boys room it fills me with dread he washed his own bedding last night. Then I’m going to cook a pan of home made soup and bake some bread it’s been five years since I’ve baked a loaf I used to love baking and cooking.

Glad the anxiety has lifted baking, I don’t miss all those dress up events from primary school I was always last minute usually finding the letter at the bottom of a book bag the night before.

Hope you all have a good day cold and bright here and the daffodils are up. X

Morning all, just checking in.

To all those going through difficult times. Especially those with WB problems. Don't feel I know you or your situations well enough to advise but happy to add to jump on the bus whizzing it's way to support those babes who need it most.

Still sober here - started on Jan 1st .... so, however many days that is.
Still struggle with Friday nights, but feel almost as scared now about having a drink as I used to about going without. I have no idea whether that is a good thing

jayne you made me want to bake bread. Sounds lovely.

DH and DS went away for a few days earlier in the week to see family and left me alone. I loved it. It was so peaceful and tidy! Now they're back and it's made me a bit irritable - and cross with myself for being irritable. I don't really understand myself. What chance does anyone else have?

Thanks Jayne - your mum sounds lovely!

I don't have CPN at the moment, but I will ask the GP to be referred.

She is buttonz, she’s strong too (you are too) but I’ve seen her at some very low points and the support is sometimes hard to get or maybe ask for but please persist the help is there, keep us all updated x

Morning All.

What a glorious day! SweetDog got an extra long walk yesterday because he's only had lead walks whilst I had flu.

How was the bread Jayne?

Beautiful day here too, with a heavy silvery frost. Taking Richard back to the airport for his return to China and then surviving the rest of the day until its time to go to bed and get back to work and not be in this sodding house.

Hey hope yous don't mind me bouncing on here for support. Was a long term poster on the Dry thread years back and I need to reassess how much I've been knocking back again. I have a lot of personal stuff going on, had my heart broken and I have reacted in the same way as I used to do - horrendously bad binge drinking.

Will post more later but today is day 2

Morning,

Not long got up, feeling like I’ve got a bit of a foggy head this morning probably because I’ve had too much sleep.
The bread was lovely I made a focaccia with some sweet potato, butternut squash and chilli soup. Then kofta kebabs and salad.

They went down a treat with the DC. Before dinner I nipped to the supermarket with DD who was going out last night with work colleagues so she bought her self some fruit ciders to drink before hand.
I thought I would try the becks blue for after dinner I quite enjoyed them.
We all watched nanny McPhee together after I’ve had such a lovely sober weekend.
I’ve read about the pink cloud effect and I’m hoping I’ve not peaked too early. But I’m just enjoying this feeling for now.
I’m sure there will be bumps in the road but I’ve not craved at all this weekend like I have in the past.
It’s so nice outside today think I will get out there and top up the vitamin D.

Hi little guiding,

Sorry to hear you’ve had your heart broken. It’s crap and it hurts all over. I numbed the pain with alcohol and created a whole load more pain.

This place is a great support I’m just on day 5. Not managed to do that for a long time.
I’ve tried moderaration ie only drinking on certain days, changing drinks, only drinking after a certain time. Then I started hiding my drinking going to alternate shops, having a cheeky one in the morning on my day off I knew I had to stop.

Not sure what’s worked this time but on the advice hear I download Clare Pooleys sober diaries and bought Jason Vales kick the drink easily and something has just clicked.

Morning babes. No matter how long I stay in bed sleep is crap and I am exhausted. About to start day of driving kids and chores. Feeling sick at the amount of work I have on next week (this was an issue even before the relationship breakdown but more now as can't focus and have all the practical issues.) Weight dipped below 9st today but fitness on the wane as too exhausted for the gym. Just can't eat. I need to get a grip. Not going to London tomorrow though which is a weight off. Although staying here will be depressing... and temptation to drink is overwhelming. I was doing so well too, but I think just avoiding the inevitable.... Hugs to all those who are also struggling and thanks all of you for your kind words xxx

hope I understand the not eating but i am doing the opposite. I ate 6 flapjacks yesterday!!! 6! I made them right enough, but even so!
Can you keep down some soup, yoghurt, toast?
Good call on London. When do you see the solicitor? Have stalled here badly on negotiations and elephant in room is crushing the life out of me.

Booking appointment tomorrow so I will keep you posted. He's been messaging DD and twisting the story ... not angry just sad, (sounded bloody angry on Thursday), hurt I've not been in touch, DS is a monster etc. I'm always the one to call to sort stuff. But not this time. He left. He left knowing it would leave me in the shit and gloating about the fact, yet is telling DD it isn't about me and he can't understand why I've not been in touch. As I saw somewhere this week, if you lie down so people can walk on you, they'll only complain you are not flat enough. Just dropped DD at work and off to take DS to a race now. I'll check in later x

Hi all - sorry for being quiet. I stepped into the sidecar for 3 days (planned) but didn't want to derail those of you who are trying to be fully abstinent / struggling by triggering anything.

So today is day 29 of 2018 for me - I am even stevens on the sober and non-sober days but will shortly complete one month before we get to end of Feb. Whilst the total looks a bit odd, if I take off the 21 days of holiday then in all the other weeks of the year I'll have only drunk on 8 days...which evens out to about 1 1/2 days non-sober per week. That is a massive improvement for me.

However...

This weekend we had a family crisis (I know lots of us are struggling with various things - generally I am v fortunate). My mummy called me after 10pm last night in a total state to say my daddy was bleeding out through his nose (he has recently had 3 stents put in and they have him on some meds for thinning his blood).

She called 111 but then wanted us to go to the hospital with them. I had to tell her we'd have to get a taxi as I'd had beer and my boy had had port. We were there from 10.30 until 4am - he was seen straight away but then there was a 4 hour wait for a second doctor to see him (there were heart attacks, collapses, various other things going on all around us) before he could go home.

So two things from this arise - firstly I would have preferred to be able to drive at short notice, and secondly, this reinforces my very strong plan to not drink at all after skiing in March, until my next holiday in September. I will be on call at evenings and weekends for the client and I cannot face the thought of doing it with booze floating around as well. So I guess this has been a salutary lesson for me.

We took a taxi to and from the hospital and daddy has been to the ENT specialist today, they've had a good look and it seems to have stopped at least for now. The amount of blood was ridiculous last night.

So today has been a total crash and I'm going to try to grab a couple of hours sleep now and then sleep through tonight. I didn't make it either out for my run, or to see the sea, but family comes first.

Hope today is going well for all. xxx

twat so sorry about your father. I hope he makes a full and speedy recovery

I have also been in sidecar. I have a really boozy weekend next weekend and I kind of convinced myself that there was no point in abstaining when this holiday was looming. Ridiculous weakness on my part.

Work has been very stressful. Major issues up the management chain which will have an impact on me eventually. I am having to say NO a lot, and be strong under a lot of pressure. No bloody excuse though is it?

So I think I will join you my furry friend and will be dry after the holiday up until Easter hols. Hopefully that will set me right again.

Hope ma and little - honestly these feelings will pass and you will look back and see things differently. I bloody love being single and would never have a serious relationship again. Ma just think how lovely it will be when he finally fucks off

Aw rothbury I have been of the same mindset as you - lacking in motivation between holidays at the moment. Skiing is always a bit of a bear-fest and therefore my head is also saying that I don't want to go into it entirely sober because the head will be very painful - that is twisted logic though.

TBH usually when I am of this mindset I could easily drink every day, so only 3 days a week is a massive improvement for me. I also haven't drunk on any Sunday this year apart from when on hols.

I know what you mean about work - the client wanted a big presentation done on Friday and has then mailed this morning to say they need more stuff done to it (whilst forgetting what the main thrust of it was supposed to be about - I don't know why I bother putting notes on when nobody reads them)! No it's no excuse, but by Thursday each week I'm usually ready to throttle them!

Anyway - furry friends fully on the bus - for me that will be from Monday 18 March and then we will see how I go.

Love to all other babes.

xxx

Hi Babes

Welcome Jayne, Buttonz and Gidding good to see you all, you're in the right place for some good support and understanding.

Twattage good to hear that your Dad's got the medical attention that he needed, must have been a huge worry for you all I hope he makes a speedy recovery Please don't worry about posting when you're drinking - the bus is a free for all and no-one should feel like they can't come aboard to post We're all at different stages, want different things from each other and from this open, honest and non-judgemental bus. This thread is not a Dry one. We accept everyone here!

Hope sending you strength x

Ma I hope Richard got off ok and that you had a lovely time whilst he's been here. x

Mint I hope work wasn't too stressful this weekend x

Margie I'm back and feel quite depressed about having to go back to reality tomorrow. It was so good to spend time with my mate but 3 days flew by I hope you're ok and that work was ok for you this week just gone? How's DH man flu? Hugs x

Rothbury I couldn't agree with you more about singledom

Fox how you doing babe?

Sweet hugs x

Sorry not to name call everyone. For those that are struggling, try and distract yourself doing other stuff. We all understand and if you need to post - just do it - we're all here to help.

Bye for now y'all x

Thanks all.

Jayne, yup that is pretty much it. Plus when I've had a few I want to text him and sometimes end up making a twat of myself. I know I struggle with moderation atm, once I have one I have an internal battle to stop. Have loads of sober books, including the Vale on my kindle from years ago. Must give them a reread.

So sorry to hear about your dad Twattage and hope you managed some rest today.

Managed to avoid the half bottle of red that is here even though I was tempted earlier. Was needing some headspace from the thoughts of work tomorrow but picked up a book instead.