Brave Babes Battle Bus: Next Stop Fabulous February

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer January so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Checking in will post about going to a dinner party and staying sober later 😀
nomore and lux thanks for the Mary J Blige recommendation, I have downloaded and love it 😀😀

Here is my medal to prove it. I’ve done it again twice since then. It’s very hard to get a place in The ballot-what most people do is get a charity place. The charity give you a place on the condition that you raise a certain amount of money - I had to raise £2000 last time which was actually harder than running the Marathon.

I have been feeling a bit better the last few days but had a bit of a crap day yesterday. I don’t know how much detail I went into about my admission but I tried to hang myself from a shower rail not long after I was admitted which broke and I broke my elbow when I fell and needed surgery.
About 2 weeks later, someone shut my arm in a door (accidentally) and, when I went for my follow up appointment, they told me that I had re-fractured it and would need more surgery which would be more complicated and basically involve inserting a bolt into my elbow so I was basically in a cast for about 10 weeks.
They took it off about 3 weeks ago and it all seemed ok so I had a follow up meeting a week ago hoping that I would be discharged but the doctor said that I was going to need physio. I went yesterday and the physio said that she thinks that I also injured my shoulder when I fell and that my elbow will probably never entirely go back to normal. She said that it will function well enough for me to hardly notice unless I plan to be a weight lifter (which I don’t) but it will be a permanent reminder of a particularly horrible time in my life.
I have just seen the researcher from this alcohol project who assessed me for an hour and a half. I will get to hear tomorrow whether I get randomised in or out. I did get a tenner for my time which is better than a kick in the teeth.

Sorry you had a setback yesterday after a few good days mshoolies, hopefully the better days will start to outnumber the crap ones.
Your marathon running is impressive, a neighbour of mine is doing London this year on a charity place, a few of us from the village did car boots, table top sales and craft markets to help her raise the £2k needed.

That tea sounds good ma, I’m trying to find nice drinks. I did develop a bit of a winter spiced Ribena thing, but it’s out of stock now.

Horrible day here, cold and icy.

Hi everyone!!! Isn't it bloody cold?

I am sipping Becks Blue, just fancied a bottle tonight for some reason. Work is still very stressful due to all the huge changes going on from the top down. I have just lost my entire chain of management and the new people won't start until April so it's farcical and chaotic.

I went to visit a friend at their new house and went to the shop and bought them a bottle of wine but didn't buy any for myself. Then asked for a cup of tea when they offered to open the bottle. This is huge progress for me.

Runners - very envious but I have hypermobility and dyspraxia so running isn't really an option for me. Sometimes I can walk quite a long distance but other days I can barely manage a few steps

I think I can just carry on as I am for now. No alcohol in the house at all. No drinking at home, no getting off my face when drinking outside the home. The weight loss has stopped now but one thing at a time. If I am still managing my drinking by Easter I will tackle my food issues too.

Life is pretty good overall ad a lot of that is due to not drinking.

well done rothbury
am exhausted, what with work and then the atmosphere at home. dh being chatty and pretending all is normal while I want to scream in his face.
Spent this morning doing the budgets for 2018/2019 - me and numbers and spreadsheets don't go together at all well - then arranged a visit from a 2 star General who you would think was god almighty judging by the amount of fawning and gibbering by the military folks. "do you have somewhere for the General to change?"
"erm, the bogs, like everyone else?"
Then an afternoon with a lovely badly injured Veteran helping him put together an online application. We spent ages inputting the info, him dictating and me typing (you type, demented, you've got more fingers than me!True! And more legs...cue endless giggling) then just before we hit submit the whole form crashed and I had to do it all again. Sheesh. Tomorrow is a day spent with the navy in meetings where everyone will speak in acronyms and I won't understand a bloody word. I love my job but it's hard to focus right now.

mshoolies It will be a reminder for a while maybe even years but eventually it'll just be part of you again and you won't constantly think of how/why it happened. I have scars and for years I wouldn't go swimming. They're white and faded now but still visible. Mostly I don't notice them. I still mainly cover them in public but not at home.

Well done today Rothbury. I agree, it's absolutely freezing. Even my always warm DS wore a hat and gloves earlier.

Ma Any chance of an early night tonight? It all sounds very busy. At least you're making a difference for people at work. I can't imagine you fawning though!

I've got to try and sort out my Victoria sponge in a bit. Lying in DS's bed with him asleep on me atm. We've made a cake for my Mum's birthday but I'm not that great at big cakes. Lack of practice! I mainly do small bakes so it's stressing me out a bit. It needs to be iced& decorated before nursery tomorrow as we're hopefully eating it after lunch.

cupcakes Ooh I could murder a Victoria Sponge! I went through a baking stage where I would bake something fabulous every weekend but I piled on the stonespounds and it had to stop.

ma I love the idea of Gambling Wankers or whatever you said How do you feel now? Has the trust gone? Can you repair the relationship? I had to live with XH for nearly three months after we decided to split and it was just awful. I really feel for you. Having to be cheery and not scream in his face must be so hard. Funnily enough I don't think I drank during that time as I was so afraid of losing control.

Morning all. It’s snowing here! It’s lovely except I have to walk to the station and it’s bitterly cold.
Another hard day at work expected as so busy at this time of year. Off to a spin class after work. No alcohol and virtually no food (well it seems like it on this diet!) Have a good day everybody.

Day 44 AF dawns cold and snowy.
How the fuck I haven't got plastered right now...well I do know. We are broke. My partner hasn't worked since November so that's it now, DDay is here. We have absolutely no money left in my savings pot. One wage in just doesn't pay the bills...and it's started snowing again. Oh well, I always wanted the simple life.
We managed to sell the car for salvage yesterday so that's paid a few bills off.
My Dad seems to be burying his head in the sand about my potential half brother now. He's not spoken to him in a few weeks. I feel for him as he thought he maybe found family and unfortunately I know from my last 30+ years it will be sporadic contact .
After my daughter's bombshell (the same day I was told about my potential half brother) I have just found out via my Aunt (via her Facebook snooping) that my son has another baby on the way with a new girlfriend. The first one won't let him see his child anymore. I think we should all go on Jeremy Kyle right now! If I tried to start a thread about it on here, the troll hunters would hound me as they wouldn't believe the huge amount of shit and hurt going on right now.
I'm very grumpy today. I think I've picked up that bloody virus again, I slept so badly. Just trying to drag myself into the shower and go to work.
And that's the best thing thats happening right now. I still LOVE my job ! Here's some Wednesday morning puppy love.
Sorry for hijacking the thread.

Mint with all the things going on in your life you still manage to sound upbeat in your post. You must be a super strong person. X

Mint what a lot of shit you have going on and yet you still carry on being amazing! What sort of work does your DP do? And is he only looking for that sort of job or would he consider something else as a temporary stopgap? Money worries are very draining, plus all the shit you have going on with your family. You are doing so well AND posting cute puppy pics for the rest of us. Feel a bit rubbish that I can't actually do anything to help. But sending positive thoughts anyway (sorry, bit 'woo' and hippyish!)

Can you consolidate any debts on an interest-free card and maybe get a mortgage holiday? Just to give you a break while he looks for more work (sorry if I am stating the bleeding obvious here!)

I said that I would let you know how my dinner party went a couple of nights ago.
Well I didn't announce that I wouldn't be drinking beforehand, as I would normally , I just turned up with some bottles of tonic and said that I was driving and therefore not drinking.
There was a bit of a look of surprise and a couple of comments mainly I think because others were drinking but driving also and it reflected upon them I suppose.
Anyway I just smiled and said nothing.
My tonic was served in a different glass from everyone else's and I had to ask several times if I could have a refill. It was a really strange experience as I felt that I was somehow different from everyone else but all I was doing was drinking the tonic without the gin!!
I still had a good time and managed to have a couple of good sober conversations but it was an eye opener as to how we treat non drinkers .
The people I was with are good people but I just felt that I was making them uncomfortable.
It was a very strange experience for them as well as for me because normally I would have been the last to leave but we left first.
Not quite sure how to handle this in the future
ma you are sounding very strong
mint I am amazed at how cheerful you sound

well done on your dinner party white that was a huge achivement.
mint bloody hell, you don't have your worries to seek do you? Sounds like a real shit fest. but those puppies!!! If they need re-homed DD2 will be over in about half an hour lol

spent today with dashing naval chaps in smart woolly jumpers, sexy marines in combats and a knob of an army major in a kilt. All grist to the mill. mint looks like we will have some good stuff for the Ayr air show this year as the ships will be there this year after last year's no show!

ma
I've already booked the Ayr Air Show weekend off Hopefully you'll be there?

I might be, but it's not technically in my area. If you are going to come and bring puppies I might be there......

Evening all.

Sorry, busy day, and an argument with DS. It's a good thing that I had meditation tonight. Even better, the teacher was focusing on cravings and crutches, which helped avoid the wine aisle on the late night date to sainsburys for the food tech ingredients I didn't know he needed until this evening.

Mint, you're having such a tough time, chin up .

White some people do react oddly to others not drinking, but you did well, keep it up.

Ma it's a tough job but somebody's got to do it!

Evening all.

mint you are having a hard time, hope things get better soon. Those puppies...... 💕

ma my experience of men in mess dress is limited to my visits to my cousin and her RAF officer husband in the 1970’s, (and I was in my mid teens) but I still remember the thrill!

sweet I have 3 ds, all adult now, the teenage years were pretty grim. I survived, just.

Had a glass of prosecco with a celebrating friend this evening, but stopped at one and moved on to water.
In bed now with tea and dog, DH away till tomorrow.

Morning All.

Slings was the glass planned? Well done for stopping. I'm trying to reframe celebration = wine. Fortunately, I don't like prosecco, which according to Facebook probably makes me a deviant.

DS is busy not working at the GCSEs he doesn't like - which is all of them except English Lang and Computing, so he just got 8s in those in the trials, and fails in everything else except history. Makes a bit of a joke of the 4 A levels he wants to do, and I was so proud of at the weekend.

Anyway, woke up with a headache, but otherwise feeling ok, definitely feeling good that this is the start of my 39th day AF. I feel lighter - (but not in weight yet), and even though the not hung-over feeling is becoming more normal, it's still novel enough to stop and think about. The other thing driving me is the money, DH is thinking of retiring. He doesn't have a big pension because he became an academic late in life. We'll be ok, but will have to be careful, so building up a bit of a reserve would be good.

I still haven't started my C25K, but I've pencilled the first run for tonight after Pilates, I'll be at the gym already, so no excuses. You can all hold me to account.

And now DS is trying to get out of going to school to do the food tech trial that I was out at 9pm last night sorting out for him. It's all my fault apparently. I don't understand because I'm not in the class. "So tell me?" "No, you just get like this" - 'this' being asking him when the next trial was and could we sit down and discuss the recipes. I give up.

And now he's walked out. He changed out of his uniform and walk out telling me he wasn't coming back.

Can anyone reassure me? It's just teenage fury, right?

It definitely is a difficult age

Poor you sweet, I Well remember the teenage fury. My youngest boy (of 3, I think I was being punished for wrongdoing in a previous life!) is 29 now, so a long time ago, but it was bloody grim. What seemed to work was trying to hang back a bit and tell them that they were responsible for themselves. I remember feeling that whatever I said or did was wrong.

The prosecco wasn’t planned, a neighbour rang and asked me to pop round and help her with her knitting, when I got there, she’d poured me a glass and said she was celebrating her new job. Difficult to say no, but I sipped it slowly and refused a top up. Made an excuse of getting home for the dog. Slept badly and woke with a headache this morning.

Onwards and upwards.

That was really well handled, Slings. The thing with one glass is that you/one wakes up to the hangover, with a bottle, you wake up drunk, and, if like me, you top it up early enough, you never reach the headache stage. (That, by the way, is no excuse to drink a bottle, it's just an observation on how as a daily drinker I managed to convince myself I didn't get hangovers. Of course, I was just perpetually under-performing)

He has deigned to text DH and says he is safe. I suppose I just have to trust that somewhere along the line, my parenting was ok. I've tried "you're responsible for yourself", but sometimes he just pushes the buttons - and boy is he good at it.

My troubles are nothing compared to some.