Brave Babes Battle Bus: Next Stop Fabulous February

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer January so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Morning all and welcome to nomore how do you feel waking up this morning after your first AF day?
I am on day 3 after an almighty binge on Friday. I’m still feeling the effects of it and am writing it down here to make sure I remember how long the after effects last. My intention was to go out for a few drinks on Friday after doing Dry January but sadly the off button wasn’t working. I think this is mainly to do with the exhilaration of managing Dry January fairly easily combined with it being an open-ended event with another big drinker. I can moderate and have done so in the past but this wil always culminate in one day ending up having a big binge so actually I am so much better deciding not to drink at all. Today I won’t be drinking and I will be going to my spin class tonight after work.
Well done Margie on your half - the time was amazing.
Good luck to everybody else today.

Morning All,

not evening 7am and I have been dealing with emails from stressed third years, it's going to be one of 'those' weeks.

Anyway, another sober week. Be the best AF Babe you can be.

Morning everyone. Margie, that’s seriously impressive. When I gave up smoking, I decided that the only way I could do it was to go for a complete lifestyle change so insanely decided to enter the London Marathon from being a 30 a day couch potato. None of this starting with 5k and building up. It nearly killed me although crossing that finishing line was one of the most amazing moments of my life.
Slings It was just one slip - today is another day.
ma Having lurked on these threads from the start, I am totally in awe of how well you’re doing, especially considering how difficult things are at the moment.
How how old is your DD? Is she getting any help for her MH problems?

Hi all,

I've been on and off the bus for years - not always posting - but I'm in desperate need of feedback.

My partner has an issue with my drinking. I myself know it is a problem, but pre him I was fairly happy with overcooking it occasionally and then cutting down again. I HAVE had seizures in the past which I know full well is another marker that I can drink too much ,(years ago). I also told him it was a problem for me before he moved in; we lived together nearly 20 years ago and he felt it was a problem then too. I can happily do non drinking out of choice and did for 6 months a while back.

Cutting down seems to be an issue as he told me last night he thinks it's bullshit that I need to taper it and it's just an excuse to drink.

I'm torn because I know I should make the cut "you are more important to me than alcohol" and go teetotal. But my nights out are important, I enjoy them, I don't always go over the top. He's not suggested but introduced a blanket rule. You can have 2 glasses of wine, after that I won't be there. I don't even get pissed on that much. Mind you, I've lowballed what I drink to him even when pissed.

I don't need to be told I have a problem, I do, but actually the way in which I've managed it myself has been fine. Managing it with someone who disapproves is desperately unhelpful because it means "let me drink wine in the time before I'm allowed to" kind of thing.

I also very successfully cut back out to nothing when he isn't there because I can do it gently by myself. It's a hideous feedback loop.

I don't mean is it right, but does that resonate with anyone?

I've been fine with alcohol management and now someone is trying to do it for me I'm in bits

MsHoolies wow. Running London is a personal dream of mine. I am going to put my name down this year and see if I get lucky.

Ma my DD is in the process of going vegan so you have my sympathy. Much as I applaud the sentiment, it's a pain in the arse for a working mum whose DS is a committed carnivore! As she is younger I can impose a few rules so we are doing it by increments (eg instead of 7 days a week with so many vegan we are saying '21 meals a week, let's make half of those vegan to start with and see how it goes') She will eat fish though. Seagan, if you will. Just wants to avoid dairy, so lots of soy yoghurt, vegetable soups and stews, stir fries and curries/chillis. Coconut cream is a good substitute for cream in soups/kormas. And don't get me started on the price of her cruelty free beauty products!

Slings I'll slap you round the chops with Barrie because I am a bit of a closet violent femme, but don't really think you need it - it's one slip, and I did the same on Thursday but am now happily back on the green tea and water.

MsHoolies you are a dark horse! In awe of marathon runners after my disastrous half. I did a walking marathon once but got bored and grabbed a taxi for the last 5 miles (god, that's awful isn't it? In my defence though it was an overnight one and I had to be up early the next day to take DS to a race so when it got to 5am I'd had enough!)

Fantals, hello and welcome. Your post does resonate with me. Your partner might be the most lovely person in the world and genuinely concerned for your health (or might bit a bit controlling, I don't know and only you know the full story) but whatever he is like, you need to want to do it for yourself. We are all different but personally I don't like being told what to do and am hyper alert to any forms of controlling behaviour (having put up with it in my marriage for quite a while before becoming old and badass), so it would actually make me worse. If WB said to me now 'I've decided you are not to drink wine in the house' I would be straight out to the off license with my credit card and bring back a crate, despite having come to the conclusion that I don't want to drink wine at home again myself some weeks back. So yes, I understand. Question is, what are you going to do? Can you explain to him that his attitude is unhelpful, even if well-meaning? Other babes better at relationships than me might be along with advice soon...

Sweet, Trust, Spanna, Nomore and everyone - hope you are all fine. Sorry work is stressing you out Sweet - seems to be the time of year for it doesn't it? Sorry to anyone I haven't namechecked.

Also did I dream seeing Dubh on here a while back? Where are you??? If you are lurking, please come back xxx

Ooh and Saywhen good luck with the London application (rather you than me, but still ... )

Evening.

MsHoolies, not just running the London Marathon, but doing it from cold. Wow! How are you today?

Fantal, welcome aboard, as Hope said, the attempt at control would put my back up too. I have been known to behave like a teenager and do the exact opposite of what I have been told to do, (even at work) if I don't like the way the proposition is put to me.

Saywhen, I hope you get what you want .

Hope, it is stressful, but then nice when I do manage to help. I honestly couldn't cope with a vegan at the moment, just because I don't have time to do the research to get it right.

I've tried San Miguel AF beer tonight, not a patch on the Heineken and not as fresh as Beck Blue, but perfectly quoffable and miles better than the Budweiser. DS commented that as it wasn't DJ, I could just have a beer. Ho Hum.

Hi all 👋

Day 2 here and not wavering just yet! Had an awful day at work which is normally an excuse for me to come home and open the wine but I've got a cuppa instead!

Didn't feel great today though as didn't sleep too well and had to take an extra tablet for my anxiety. Guess the wine was helping me to fall asleep maybe.

Very impressed with all you runners! I'm considering signing up for a 5k run but I'm terrible at running!

Nomore, well done. It will take a few days, maybe a week, for your sleep to normalise; you'll be used to falling asleep quickly, but waking up around 3am maybe? You should also find that the anxiety will decrease in a few weeks time.

Yes sweet the falling asleep easily and then waking up sounds familiar. A decrease in the anxiety would be very welcome!

DD is 27 and still lives at home. She takes a very high dose of ADs and has counselling. She has learnt a lot of coping strategies and has some good days....but also others when she just refuses to speak to me. Today seems to be a good day as she had finished off tidying the kitchen and made some soup, which I had for tea.

Tonight has been a real struggle to stay AF and not sure why. Thank God for the bottle of elderflower stuff in the fridge. DH has gone to his first Gambling wankers meeting. Said he was dreading it, boo fucking hoo for you .

Thanks for the squid slap hope, and thanks mshoolies for the common sense! It was a slip, just one day, but I slept badly as a consequence, woke at 3am feeling anxious and felt pretty shit today. So, am back on the fizzy water.

Fantals welcome back.
nomore sleeping well is the best thing about not drinking. I feel almost human most mornings now.

Marathons? Bloody hell, I couldn’t crawl a marathon. I do walk 2 - 3 miles a day with the dog, but that’s about the limit of my exercise. I applaud all of you runners and big walkers. Not suggesting that you personally are big, just that the walks are .

Early night for me, day 27 of 28.

Well done, Ma, sounds like an early night for you?

Slings you sound more positive.

Day 36 for me. My best AF period since the beginning of 2015. I was filmed this morning (internal, nothing you're likely to see thank goodness), talking about one of my research areas. Two months ago, I wouldn't have agreed to do it. A quick glance back at the footage and I look ten years younger than I did at the beginning of Jan (mind you, I looked older than 46 so its not quite as miraculous as it sounds).

Hey all. For those of us pondering the sleep/alcohol thing - I’ve just been reading Matthew Walker’s ‘Why we Sleep’. The basic thesis is that everything is made better by sleep - so not rocket science - but it’s a well written and vaguely scientific read. There are some seriously depressing pages on alcohol/sleep and particularly the impact on information retention and memory. My memory has definitely improved during Jan: not just the ‘oh god, what did I do last night?’ stuff but the gradual, slow building blocks and sheets of memory accruing over time, unimpaired by wine. Anyway, it is an interesting if sobering read. I’m finding I need new reasons to remind myself of the importance of sobriety as the initial impetus wears off and it plateaus into normality, so I have found learning about the centrality of Sleep to our health really helpful, if not earth shatteringly surprising.

Watching University Challenge sober is also a revelation. I can remember stuff and don’t get into loud and competitive arguments with myself about the dates of the Tang Dynasty. I have never got over 30 questions in an episode right before. Maybe sobriety will gain me quiz show notoriety..

Also - tea. My tea rituals are evolving and causing much amusement to the family (I am a sucker for buying random product and creating a performance about these things). Absolute displacement activity, but so what. I am currently enjoying Three Tulsi tea (Pukka). Any tea tips gratefully received? I fancy diversifying my collection - nothing too floral or sweet. I’d love to hear your recommendations.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Morning all. Totally agree with smallfox about the benefit of sleep. Last night was my first proper sleep after the binge of Friday and I feel so much better for it.
ma I am interested to know about the GA. Is it the same sort of setup as AA do you know? Just asking out of interest.
Hope everybody has a good day. I’m off to boxercise after work today. Weight loss is starting to happen now at last!

And smallfox I love green tea with jasmine. You can almost feel it making you healthy as you drink it

Morning All.

Yup, sober sleep is great, even if I get less than I'd like, I feel like it's enough to get me through the day. My best sleep of the week is after meditation class on Wednesdays.

My tea favourites are tea pigs but only mint at work, and only superfruit at home!

Small, 30 questions on UC! Next, you'll be telling me your in double figures for Only Connect (not including missing vowels).

Feb is difficult if you know lots of people who only ever intended to do DJ, or if you've used it as cover, people who think you SHOULD drink now. But, only a week until Lent Starts if you need it. I'm going with 'the end of term', and then probably Summer diet, and after that, hopefully, "I really don't fancy it anymore"

It's also that bit quieter on the bus, but it's just as important to post to maintain momentum. I can't quite believe this is already day 37, those ODaTs soon add up.

"you're" obviously!

Much better nights sleep last night! I actually woke up before my alarm this morning and felt rested and ready to get up instead of being sad that I couldn't go back to sleep!

Morning, hello nomoredrama is your name for the Mary J Blige song? Just wondered as I'm listening to it right now. It's my anthem!

Hi everyone else, will catch up properly soon

I'm one of those guilty of posting less. I shall try to post more! I'm at day 37 today and feeling impressed with myself. This is the longest I've done in many years. Shamefully I didn't stop when pregnant. I cut down considerably but didn't stop. I lied instead and told everyone I had. Same with smoking. It's strange how growing a baby didn't motivate me but somehow I've motivated myself now. It's giving me real satisfaction not to have spent anything on alcohol or nicotine in 2018.

Nomore I've seen a massive decrease in my anxiety since stopping. It's amazed me and I really want it to continue.

Fantal Anyone trying to tell me what I could/couldn't have whether they were trying to help or not would drive me to do the opposite.

I'm so impressed with all the runners on here. As Slings says I couldn't crawl a marathon either! Or answer any questions on university challenge! I did manage 66 lengths in the pool yesterday though which is just over a mile.

Hope everyone's ok.

Baking, I'd be at the bottom of the pool by the end of the second length! - I would certainly have lost the ability to count!

Haha, it certainly is luxurywoman absolutely love Mary j blige, I can often be found dancing round my kitchen to 'just fine' aswell when I need a pick me up! 😂

I've just picked up a CBT book to work through to try and help the anxiety aswell. Im determined to conquer a few demons this year!

small try black tea spiced chai from the Wee Tea Company here in Scotland. Yes, Scotland has a tea plantation!

trust it seems to be but without the God element and its run by the group itself, not facilitated. I don't know and don't really care if it will help him or not . Just because you've found some other fucking idiots to share your stories with, doesn't make it ok!