Brave Babes Battle Bus: Next Stop Fabulous February

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer January so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

found out last night that dh has £6K of gambling debts on secret credit cards. Told him it was over. Haven't slept and have meetings and a 3 hour drive ahead of me. not going home tonight.
January, you have been quite a month!

Oh yikes ma! Sorry to hear that, but you seem like a super strong woman, so I'm sure you can get through this! And doing it AF will be even better as you can keep your wits about you to squeeze everything you can from dh who sounds like a right twat

Morning All, woke up to a raging throat, headache and temperature (Karma for boasting that I got through last semester without anything).

Otter welcome, tell us something about yourself if you want, there's no judgement here, just support.

Hope, listen to what you want for yourself, drinking has lost its appeal, you like how good you feel, being AF is about what you gain, not what you lose. Do you think your friends/workmates will pressure you to drink?

Ma, after all of the struggles you've had keeping your family afloat financially, I'm not surprised that was the last straw. I hope once the immediate stress and fallout, you can look back and be glad for the final push. If you feel like pushing the fuck it button, just remember how much easier this will be with a clear head, and that problems will still be there at the end of the bottle, but you'll be less able to deal with them. You have been such a source of strength and support on the bus, we will be here for you.

ma you have spent so many years trying to keep things going, putting others in your family first, remaining in an unhappy place because you were trying to protect dd's mental health and ds's vulnerabilities, and then HE does something like this

So seize the day, use the force of anger to make the changes that YOU need. Seperate your finances, your salary paid into your account, look for a neat wee flat you can rent, it doesn't need lots of bedrooms and your dc will adapt to a smaller space. Take control, don't be responsible for his mess, leave that for him to sort out.

and for you. But optimistic and kick ass too. This is your year.

Oh ma Bless you. Hasn’t he done this before? It’s time to put yourself first now. This can be your year -is considered ok etiquette to wave Pom Poms on the bus?
We’re all here for you

Shit ma I'd wish I could tell you more about my break up and how things panned out but it's quite outing. Suffice to say I think you've reached the point of no return like I did.

Morning all.
Ma that’s shit, but totally agree with what sweet and venus and lux have said, harness that anger, make your plans and keep a clear head.

Am joining in with mshoolies and the Pom Pom waving - we look a bit daft just the 2 of us so the more the merrier!

Ma. Wasn't going to post while away as dodgy internet. But just want to say we all only have one life of a set length. All that has happened here means freedom for you sooner rather than later and more of that remaining time for you. Good luck. No pom pom here. Weight was limited. Will wave hiking socks instead. X

bless you all and your pom poms.
Can someone tell me how I put shared ownership of a property into one person's name? he has agreed to do this, I just don't know how to go about it.

do you know how much alcohol I drank last night when I found this out? Absolutely FUCK ALL!!!

ma...I am now waving THE biggest, massive, fuck-off, neon pom-poms to cheer you on and say "Hey mrMa you made a mistake....BIG MISTAKE.... You screwed our busbabe over one time to many. .....she has to go shopping now..." (please can someone note the effort I put in for the Pretty woman reference in there showing my age...) USE your anger USE your dissapointment.... ungrateful bastard royally fucking up and from what you've said over last few days he is just not got his listening ears switched on to the very thought of losing you. He won't know what he's got till you are gone, FREE, and then it will be too late to talk, too late to try and make it right. Go for your freedom my lovely lady - you deserve better xxxx if I lived closer I'd come and wave these basted pom poms in his face right now...... ((((((( ps always space in the bus/sidecar for sleeping bags, hot water bottles, and once we pull up we could even have pizza delivered and settle down for the duration. In fact we could upgrade Gerald with all the money we've saved by not drinking and get some kind of wides creep TV installed and watch lots of movies about women like us KICKING ASS))))))....... (Bee takes a deep breath and considers changing name to BusLioness - no one fuck's with our bus babe's xxxx

Typo correction service... wide screen TV obviously
...

(Ahem)....As you were ladies

mshoolie - how have you been feeling today my lovely? Hope you are OK and have had all the support you have needed today

Ma, just what everyone else has said really - you deserve SO much better, you are in charge of the changes in your life this year, you were so strong not to open a bottle last night. Loved the oxygen mask reference, put yours on first and your DCs will be fine. You’ve got this babe.

Hope, as someone wisely said, stopping drinking leaves a lot of time for reading! I’m currently enjoying “We are not ourselves” and also recommend “The power” - a good kick-ass girl power book! Well done on your weight loss and gym regime - I hear you on only being able to do things obsessively! Hence me running a half marathon on Sunday.

Hoolies, hope you’re ok? Wildly waving pom-poms for all of you.

And I also wanted to say hello to Otter. I’m an alcoholic too, took me a very long time to admit to it but there is a way out and this bus will help no end.

Ma I think to change the ownership of a property you will have to see a solicitor. It might be worth asking on the legal matters board.
Well done on the no alcohol - shows what a strong and in control woman you are.

mshoolies how are you today?

Let's see if this works ma

Transfers of Equity and Legal Ownership of a Property

Nope, let me try again!

www.hip-consultant.co.uk/.../transfers-of-equity-and-legal-ownership-of-a-property-1...

Thanks for the welcomes, sweet and Margie. I’m a bit shy when I’m actually sober (was in my cups last night when I posted that) so will have to work up to saying more.

I will say this for now though: the irony of it all is that when I’m sober all I think about is having a drink, and yet when I’m pissed ALL I WANT is to be sober.

I mean, I do also want to be sober when I’m sober - as in, long term sober and not needing to drink. It’s just that the bastard voice convinces me to have that glass of wine and so the merry-go-round turns.

I do really want it to stop, though, as I’m dearly sick of it and want to get off.

Welcome otter ...you will find all the support on this bus so encouraging .... you aren't on your own. Xxx

Hi Babes
Delurking to send hugs and to Ma
Day 30 - Will post my thoughts (& confusion) going forward tomorrow.

Thank you all for asking about me. I came home yesterday. They give you a very brief kind of discharge summary from the hospital and my principal diagnosis was Alcohol dependence (ETOH) (alcoholism) (excess) which wasn’t pleasant to read.
I’m going back to the alcohol clinic on Thursday.
It also said ‘We have advised her to drink
the minimum amount of alcohol to prevent withdrawal symptoms whilst awaiting input next week in the community’.
There is a new service called the Assertive Alcohol Outreach team which basically will come and see you at home for a year and keep trying to engage you rather than just discharging you if you miss a couple of appointments like most addiction services. I apparently meet their criteria as I have had 2 alcohol related admissions in the last year.
I felt quite excited about this but, as it’s a research project, people get randomised into getting the treatment they offer or treatment as usual.
I have cut down from about 30 units a day to about 10 and stopped drinking spirits.
I didn’t have a drink today until 3pm whereas I have been starting at 8am for about the last 4 months so that is progress.
Both of my oldest children are so angry with me.
DS1, who I have always been incredibly close to, is barely talking to me.
I obviously don’t blame him but it still hurts.
But I do feel more motivated than I have ever done to beat this fucking thing.
I miss being a proper mum.
This thread has been an absolute lifeline to me over the last few days.
Sorry not to namecheck. I will thank you all individually when I’m a bit more up to it.

We will continue to be here mshoolie all the way. You will reclaim your life 🌹