Brave Babes Battle Bus: Next Stop Fabulous February

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer January so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

I'm going to sleep now. Hope you get some rest too MissHoolies Keep posting if it helps you. I'm sure someone wiser than me will be along. ((Hugs)) I have never given anyone on an Internet forum a hug before - consider yourself honoured!

Morning All

MsHoolies sending you loads of hugs and strength to get through one minute, hour, day at a time

MsHoolies... so so glad that you are around to have even posted. Thank you thank you thank you. Thank you for the paramedic who took care of you when you needed it. Your rock bottom....every success story starts with one. Every amazing building need's a firm, solid foundation.....and that's what rock is.....it's the hardest place you'll ever be but it's the most solid thing you have to show you that you can now build something amazing of yourself. Bless your heart for posting to us. We don't "know" you from Adam - if we met you by chance in real life in a bus we might never know- but here we are not strangers....we are your number one cheerleaders lady......we really are. This bus is a safe place for your head and right now you are in the safest place for your physical self. Believe in yourself mshoolie because we know you have this in you. It may mean you are sectioned for your own safety....it may mean you have to spend time in places you would rather not. But at the moment that is relative safety compared to where you have been these last few weeks.....if it happens consider it just part of the process...a step in getting where you need to be. We all have our own story to tell and believe you me for the grace of God it could be anyone of us in your situation. It is NOT your fault you have become addicted to an addictive substance. Our minds areally powerful but the real science behind it is that addiction forges grooves in our neural pathways that become so deep and embedded that our will and self control really have no say when it comes to doing something different. But it CAN BE DO E. YOU yes you my darling lady - you can do this. Please try and treat yourself kindly. You are so precious. You can come through this. I just wanted to send you love, and warmth, and care. Hospital can be such a bleak place and sometimes it's just not the "right " place for the time you are at now. But it is.....what it is. It isn't forever. It's a step on your journey. A journey to freedom and to getting well and for recovering. Just take one day at a time. Please....just one day . Sometimes one hour. Please remember that paramedic .... he was exactly what you needed at that time but if you had looked ahead and thought about it there was no way of knowing that. It is more Han just right place/right time.

God's timing is perfect. His grace is sufficient.....
Praying for your safety today. For you to have the rest and care that you need. That you get to this evening knowing and know you did all you could and that tomorrow you will try again ... stay safe my lovely xxxxx

Thank you forever. That's what I was trying to say.

What a beautiful post forever.
Hope today is a better one MsHoolies

Bee that was truly from your heart 💜 such a warm post. None of us could have put it better. Thank you for being you xxxx

Bee I really don’t deserve but thank you. I’m still in hospital. Yesterday and last night was hell in terms of withdrawal symptoms. I was shaking so much, I couldn’t even hold a cup. They have been giving me Librium every 2 hours which is starting to help. I’m still a bit shaky but a hundred times better than yesterday.
And nobody has shown me any judgement at all.
I have just spoken to the alcohol nurse who was lovely and she’s going to contact my alcohol keyworker and fill him in and get me an appointment.
I think they’re going to keep me in for at least another night and keep giving me the Librium.
So many people have been so kind to me -profesinals and random strangers like the woman who called the ambulance yesterday.
I want to repay some of that kindness.

Good morning MissH. The thing is, you do deserve it. All of the kind words and actions. And it's amazing that you are still thinking of others, even now, at what you describe as your rock bottom. But what I was trying to say last night, in my awkward, emotionally stunted way, is it screams to me from your posts that you are a lovely caring person who, for whatever reason , struggles terribly with directing care to yourself. Please, direct all of your energy to caring for you. When you are in a better place, you will have many opportunities to pay it forward, but for now please be selfish and focus on getting better.

Afternoon All.

I can't be around a lot until Wednesday (Last day of January, YaaH) because of work, but I just wanted to say, MsHoolie as Flowers says, you need to be selfish for now. By looking after yourself now, you will be stronger for others in the future. Do what they tell you on planes, put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others .

And to those of you still getting mood swings, this morning, I was bloody furious (at just about everything) and I really enjoyed it.

Calm now, love and peace Babes .

How are you mshoolie? Thinking of you...it's just getting dusk....I used to find this time horrible when I was in hospital with my ds....shift changes/ that horrible cooked food smell/ that waiting feeling until it's properly nighttime and you can get pjays on .....the feeling that another day has passed and you're stuck in a odd timeless environment. I hope you aren't feeling too lonely my lovely. Always someone on the bus to talk to if you feel the need. Hope you are managing to rest ...I'm sure it must feel like you've had people coming and going all day. We are thinking of you. You aren't in this by yourself. Remember you CAN come through this the other side. Have any decisions been made on your next steps today my lovely? Having a plan in place is reassuring, if only to have something to tick off every day. We are sending you bus hugs xxx......

just wanted to pop in to cheer on mrshoolie along with everyone else.
bee your posts are so warm and compassionate - I know it wasn't aimed at me but I stole a little reassurance from it that all will be well in the end.
am in a hotel in chilly Inverness tonight.Nice to not be at home

sweet that was a perfect reminder - the thing about the oxygen mask....needing to help yourself before you're able to help others. I have been trying to do that. Trouble is I always feel so guilty when I do something or myself. I feel as if I am shirking what I should actually be doing or being indulgent.

I'm still struggling mood wise ...just feeling rather low...and flat I suppose. I'm so tired! Thought "not drinking" would give me tons more energy...it would seem not. I feel exhausted. Overwhelmed. Bit tearful to be honest. Just got to get through boys teatime, baths and bedtimes. I actually can't wait to go to bed. I need sleep. Been having the most awful dreams last few nights. Really disturbing, a lot about my little ones surgery's for some reason. Think my brain is broken xx

ma that's lovely if

ma That's lovely of you to say that. I only speak from my heart and from being in places of desperate sadness myself before. I know how much it means to need to be nurtured. And to be loved and not judged. To be treated kindly xx I'm glad you were encouraged by my rambling xxx you are doing so well my love.

Evening All

Bee I have a theory based on how it's been for me. After a few weeks AF I had an almighty boing and I also remember being exhausted. I put this down to my brain being so in overdrive with the preoccupation of not drinking that it made me mentally and therefore physically exhausted further down the line. There may be no medical evidence in that at all it was just a note to myself that I observed. I too am not sleeping well, I think I thrashed around last night whilst having some funky dreams about - I have no recollection this morning! I get affected by the moon and there's another mega full moon coming up, we've had 2 full moons in January, enough to send me into LaLa land

MsHoolies ... delurking to offer support and, basically ... what Bee and Flowers said because I could not even begin to put it so beautifully. I hope you are safe and calm tonight lovely lady. You have so many cheerleaders on here who care about you. You WILL get through this.

Day 29 here. No boing, no freaky dreams, no mood swings, but .... spots!!!! At my age! Spots and lines. My face is like a human dot to dot puzzle. Fuming 😠

Love to you all on this January evening. Sat waiting for DS to finish athletics. Longing to drive home and go to bed. Looking for book recommendations if anyone has one?

Hope I enjoyed Jesse Burton's The Muse, more contemporary than the Miniaturist, set in the Spanish Civil war and Post Windrush London.

MissH I hope you are ok.. still catching up really but what a lovely supportive thread xx
So my aims.. as I said I managed 4 months in 2016 - but then it drifted back. I was inspired by someone's 100 days, then 100 days, then 100 days story.. so I am going for 100 days. I've given myself some time to come to a when / how decision so its tomorrow - been planning for a couple of weeks. Ready for a tough few days at first then I remember its pretty ok for me after that. So please hand hold for me tomorrow xx

hope and anyone else looking for a good read I would thoroughly recommend
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine.
It is bitter sweet with a bit of alcohol thrown in. I read it in an afternoon something which I haven't done in a loooooooong time .

White I have read Eleanor Oliphant and loved it so much I bought it as Christmas presents for friends in hardback (after reading it on Kindle). I shall look up The Muse Spanna.

Heloise 100 days is a good goal. Good luck with it. We are cheering you on

Am wondering what to do post Dry January. Am loving the gym so much that drinking is increasingly losing its appeal (am now at my lowest weight since 2010 ... although am getting a bit musclebound) but feel under social pressure to start going out for drinks again (have basically been a hermit this month). Also starting with a knee injury which is depressing me as actually quite addicted to the gym. (Seems I can't do balance and moderation in any area )

Hope hello lovely wow with your weight loss that is awesome!! Go you! Huge congrats on your AF days Could you take the social pressure off yourself by saying something like 'I've hit the gym and it's really working for me, just want to stick to my new regime for another month I'll have a lime and soda please'. Much as I'd love to be the one that recommended the Muse it was Sweet babe. Have just read Faking Friends by Jane Fallon (I'm a huge fan) twas good! Great to see you Hope x

White thank you for that recommendation just looked at it online t'will be in the post soon I hope!

Hope everyone is doing ok. Night all Zzzzzzzz

Hi all, checking in and catching up. Nothing to add to the fab advice for MissH but hope you are getting the support you need. Well done on getting this far Hope - I agree, can you just say you feel so good you want to carry on? I already have that excuse planned for a night out in late Feb. I too will check out the book recommendations - I've read more books in the last 22 days than I did all year last year! Amazing what there is time for without the booze!

Sorry for the middle of the night post. I started my AF days sleeping badly as I detoxed, then I went into sleep like a baby mode, now the last couple of nights I have been plagued with insomnia again. I hope it doesn't last.

Good luck with 100 days Heloise - that's my initial target too although I do have forever in the back of my mind.

Finally, thanks for all the welcome messages - I definitely feel like I'm in the right place.

Hi, my name is Otter and I’m pretty sure I’m an alcoholic. I’d like to get sober for Feb so I’m climbing on.

Morning all
Sunrise
Xx