Brave Babes Battle Bus: Next Stop Fabulous February

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer January so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

You will beat this fucking thing Mrs Hoolie - your determination shines through in your post. And we will all be there cheering you on.

Wow Ma what a total and utter fucking cocklodging wanker. It's not the first time is it? Well done you for staying sober and for taking action. Regarding putting ownership into your name - I am not sure whether Scottish law is different but I did this years ago when I discovered WB had £10k of debts (not gambling - just not earning and pretending he was so paying the bills on Visa) and it did not take long at all - one appointment with a solicitor and some forms. House is all in my name now (which is as it should be seeing as I fucking paid for it). That doesn't mean the wanker doesn't have some rights as we are married and he lives here, but basically if he got in more financial shit it would not be under threat as it is not his collateral IYSWIM. Anyway, waving pompoms like crazy here for you and toasting you with a brew . I simply DO NOT understand gambling, and I am so utterly furious on your behalf If he were stood in front of me now I would punch him in the face. I might have to stand on the sofa to do so, but I have been learning boxing, so as long as he didn't move out of range I would inflict some damage!

Sweet and Spanna sorry for mixing you up darlings. It is because you are both so lovely! And Sweet yes, I think my friends will pressure me to drink but taking it one day at a time. Am already thinking of swerving my next 'big night out' in February because it is always a boozy do and of the gang of 5 of us that go, I think I can only tolerate two of them because I am drunk sometimes. Not that they are awful, but just have nothing in common with them (friends of friends). Hope your lurgy gets better soon too xxx

Club and Otter - welcome to you both. Pull up a cushion, grab some snacks and lets settle down for Bee's movie marathon. Kill Bill anyone? (or Ma's WB. Or mine, or Luxury's ex or anyone else that needs to be dispatched)

Margie I have read "We are not ourselves" - it was good, if sad. The Power has been recommended a lot on the book threads on MN. I will take a look at that and the other babes recommendations! Cheers. Also good luck with your half marathon on Sunday! Are you aiming for a particular time? Let us know how you get on. I did 2 classes this morning with my dodgy knee and have PT in the morning. I have actually lied about how often I go to the gym as WB makes disparaging remarks about me being 'obsessed'. But it's an improvement on lying about the bottles in the wardrobe!

Waves to Anne, Slings, Wrongway, Anitt, Venus and apologies to anyone I've not spotted (possibly scrabbling under the seats for Opal Fruits).

And MsHoolies just spotted you there - lots of love to you. You have a diagnosis and a treatment programme, it's a start. You have cut down your units massively, for which huge congratulations and a bit more pompom waving is in order. We are all here, cheering you on. You are going to beat this, you absolutely are xxx

Have a good evening, babes.

DD is also incredibly angry with me. I don’t know who’s still around from the first thread started by JWN. I seem to remember that her daughter had moved out as she’d had enough of her mum’s behaviour but she won her back in the end and was there for her wedding.
I’d love to know how she’s doing. These threads are her legacy.

Bee that made me laugh so much. Sistah you is fierce!!! Love you all so much. Thanks for links and support. DH has no idea what I have in my corner. Am at a friends tonight but need to go home tomorrow. Idaat. Too many of you to namecheck...you know who you are.

www.shutterstock.com/video/clip-9743987-stock-footage-beautiful-dancing-girls-cheerleading-pom-poms-in-hand-smiling-at-the-camera-synchronous.html
Here you go

LOVE that MsHoolies

Morning All.

Last day of Jan, 31 days (for lots of us). It's been a hell of a year so far.

Morning all. Waves to all babes - wow, so many of us! Special shout out to Ma - you rock, you are amazing, you so don’t deserve this stuff and I am without words (which is unlike me) to describe your unworthy (D)H.

MsHoolie I am glad to see you, you are so brave and generous in the midst of it all. Let us do whatever we can to support and distract you.

Spanna - all well with you, babe? I am so sorry not to NC all the brave and brilliant babes, old and new. Sweet you have done an awesome job of herding us crazy lot gently onto the bus and ensuring we don’t career totally off the road.

End of Jan and I feel a bit scared. This month has been - easy. I am so baffled by this. I feel great, am sleeping like a particularly inactive sloth and have not been seriously tempted to drink at all, despite several nights out and (more of a trigger for me) nights in alone. This against a backdrop of opening a botttle by 10am most days in later December and ending up with a liver actively whimpering for respite. I struggle to establish satisfactorily why Jan has been so straightforward. It is partly novelty, partly an awareness that things couldn’t continue as they were and partly just being Jan. I am scared of Feb. I am not yet ready to contemplate this being ‘for ever’ (though I know it should be and needs to be) but I can’t have that awful mental drinking dialogue starting up again. So I think I must invent a February equivalent to dry jan. I can’t think of a poetic or alliterative term for it but if anyone can help name it for me (and join me during it), I’d be massively grateful!

Have good days, all.

smallfox: (Alcohol) Free February?

There's always Lent, which would take you through part of February and all of March, so just need to extend Dry January to 13 Feb.

Morning all, old and new.

Day 23 here, like small I’ve found it surprisingly easy. This is my longest af stretch for almost 30 years but I know it doesn’t stop here and I can’t go back to my old ways of 1.5 - 2 bottles a day, ever6 day. “d”h is still drinking for 2, but it doesn’t bother me, in fact watching him get pissed every night makes me glad I’m not drinking.

The positives are that my skin looks so much better (well, as much as 62 year old skin can!), I’m sleeping well, and feel clear headed. I’m reading loads, and crocheting like mad. And I’ve got spare money.

I would like to be able to have a social glass of wine every so often, but am scared that it’d creep up again, so for now, ODAAT, it’s free February for me.

Pom Pom waving...........
ma, hope you had a good night with your friend, and you can start getting things sorted. Take care of yourself.

mshoolies, no advice re your kids apart from they are resilient, and when they see you beat this, they will be full of admiration for your strength. We have this rosy picture of motherhood, perfect children, a sort of ‘Little Women’ scenario. But life’s not like that sadly. My eldest son aged 34 now, fell out with me a couple of years ago, and wouldn’t see me for a year. I didn’t and still don’t know what it was about, neither do his brothers. We now have an uneasy truce, but at least we are communicating. Keep your chin up and things WILL get better.

Have a good day all.

Morning folks

Day 31 here. Started the month with the intention to 'do' dry Jan and then see how I feel. Well, it feels good. Very good. Somewhere along the line I made the decision to continue after the end of the month and that is what I intend to do.

Smallfox and slings I have also found it easy - and found finding it easy disconcerting! For me, it's probably a lot to do with DH giving up too. Although I have found myself wondering if maybe I don't have a problem at all, I have just been going along with him because of some sort of destructive 'If you can't beat 'em join 'em' sort of mentality. But, this sober month has given me space to do some serious navel gazing. I drank too much before I met DH. Part of why we 'clicked' was because we could keep up with each other . I have often drunk too much without him since we've been together. On solo work trips to lovely places, including Montreal, Brisbane and Barcelona, my first priority was always to find the local equivalent of an off-licence to stock up without it going on the hotel bill that had to be processed through work. Those are not the actions of a non-problem drinker. So, I am taking responsibility for myself, and not blaming living with him.

I intend to stay sober as long as I can ODAAT (forever is too scary) and am certainly up for free Feb

I have also started calorie counting with MFP. Hopefully that will be easier too, without having to squeeze in booze.

Ma sorry you're going through a difficult time with your IH (idiot husband). I have a feeling that it will be good for all of you in the long run though.

MissH Glad you're home and getting some rl support. The above mememe rant was to demonstrate I am very good at practising what I preach about being selfish

Morning all! Day 31 - yay! Dry January done (and also found it surprisingly easy, which given where I was at by the end of December was a revelation) Small I heard you on being scared of February. Am in London tomorrow and meeting cousin at a pub after work (d'oh!), and he's all 'yay, what great timing, you have finished Dry January' but am not planning to drink much. Literally staying for an hour before I need to rush for the train home. It can't be that hard to say 'Lime and Soda' instead of 'Gin and Tonic' can it? Last night I got into my favourite ever jeans which I don't think I've got over my knees since the kids were in primary school (they are Y10 and Y13 now!) - and they were a bit baggy. That is not worth giving up for a few drinks, right? (though if I have a vodka, lime and soda am not going to beat myself up. Have already decided I can't ever drink pints again - and wine just signals the end of all my self control so that's out!) I shall solemnly swear to report back on Friday morning,

JWIM I hear Lent calling me too. Am a lapsed Catholic (very lapsed, not been near a church since my aunt's funeral) but for some reason observe Lent every year though never with the 'big one' of giving up alcohol (usually cheese/bread/crisp sacrifices). Maybe this is the year. It will take me up to my holiday and I can go away with a much smaller bikini in my suitcase

Slings sorry to hear that about your son. But hear what you are saying about families. We are hardly the Waltons, (ooh, reference for the oldies there!), mainly because DH and I don't really have much of a relationship outside shared parenting and mutual irritation and I worry about that damaging my teens, but it is what it is. They seem OK, I get along with them mostly (apart from the usual issues over room tidying and DD's hormonal teenage moodiness) and I do my best. DD hates drinking (she is so Saffy from Ab Fab as I've said before) and sulks like crazy when I go out with my 'boozy' friends. I have to try to acknowledge this and accept her feelings - but also to get past it and see all the ways in which I am a fab mum. I really do keep a lid on it these days (mostly) and she is in the habit of giving me the side-eye if I have a single glass of wine on a meal out so I have to separate what I know is my (real) issue to deal with from her judgement on fairly ordinary behaviour which comes from somewhere else (she also finds my dress sense, musical taste and hair colour wrong. The other day I got told off for listening to grime as I am too old apparently). Your children will come round MsHoolies. Remember, addiction is not your fault.

Anyway, am procrastinating here as have to do a work task I do not like. I am off to do it now. Have a good day everyone.

Slings, watching someone else get drunk can be very, um, sobering, can't it? As I've said before on here, my DH is a very controlled drinker, he can actually pour half a can of larger and save the rest for tomorrow! On the very rare occasion he does drink more, he is a very silly but a bit annoying drunk, talk, talk, talk, sleep, snore. And even that makes me wonder why any of us do it!

Small, luffs yah, Babe. Remember that first sober holiday you did when you did 100 days plus, and how fab it was? How about aiming for that again!

Ma, hope your night away with friend was a good break.

MsHoolies, it sounds like you have found yourself with a much more proactive team this time. your DDs anger is understandable, although not what you need. Your actions, rather than any words are what she needs, so being selfish and taking care of your own recovery is, ironically, the best way of caring for her.

Blessed, you are a fabulous kick-ass Babe!

In a weird way, I am really looking forward to not drinking tomorrow, because tomorrow I will be doing it because not drinking is a good, conscious choice for me, and not because all the world and her husband is doing Dry January. DJ helps because we problem drinkers can hide in plain sight, but not drinking tomorrow feels more powerful.

Just realised is MsH not 'Miss'! Doh! Stupid, unobservant flowers

Also leaving this here for Ma, MsHoolies and any other babes who are in need of it... treat yourselves nicely, people, and acknowledge your little day to day achievements ...

Flowers I just had to check, because Ms is my default usage! Don't hang your head, wilting flowers are so sad

*Hope, that is lovely, and some days, it really is all we can ask of ourselves.

Thanks Sweet it's my default too, but MS H's name always brings to mind Balamory - that Miss Hoolie is a Miss, isn't she???

She is, but she got with the programme

flowers It did actually used to be MissHoolie and, after a glitch with my PC, it changed to Ms. I obviously have a very PC computer!
I hope everyone has an OK last day of January and best of luck to you that are aiming to keep going. I am in total awe of you.

bring on Fuck It February.

Tired, scared and not keen to go home tonight. have spoken to lawyer and to mortgage people. Am exhausted already. Respect to thiose of you who have managed to break free.

One foot in front of the other, Ma. There will be really difficult times, but the freedom and autonomy will be wonderful. Find yourself a deserted, windswept beach or mountainside and scream if you need to.
FUCK IT! FUCK YOU!
The twirl around arms open and let the scared out and the relief in x

My stats for the month, according to the DJ app, based on an average of 1 bottle of wine per day @ £7:
31 dry days
£217 saved
17k calories cut down (but replaced with chocolate biscuits and cheese puffs)
279 units cut down.

Makes you think.

Wow that is a lot of money Sweet.. definitely makes you think.
small slings flowers* very inspiring to hear that January was easy.. I found my 4 months off pretty easy but then Christmas 2016 came and it was a serious nosedive year.. gah.
False start to starting, but today begins 100 days of joy! Had a lovely run in the sunshine, shower with all the lovely Christmas bath goodies I haven't used yet, got on with my study instead of procrastinating and thinking about going to the shop for wines and have some peanut m&ms for later on the sofa with a book. I have a pile of books as long as my arm that never get read... so bring it on.

Looking well done on the jeans. I insist on keeping a pair of jeans from FIFTEEN YEARS AGO in my wardrobe. Size 8 - now am size 14. The dream will not be dimmed!