Found husband's dirty messages to colleague

[peasepuddinghot]

What an absolute knob. Sorry this is an all too familiar tale of woe...

Messages on computer...blah blah blah...you make me feel alive...wouldn't turn you down...blah blah ... he's not even denied it just said he was drunk and it meant nothing. Prick. Got no one to talk to so offloading here.

Sounds like you're doing amazingly well, @peasepuddinghot.

It also sounds a lot like a break up I had with a horrible ex. I found messages and wasn't sure what to do, he started the whole 'I'm no good for you. You deserve better' thing, then took off his ring and said he would move out.
I was more in shock that he was the one actually ending things than I was about his previous behaviour. The bastard took away my chance to kick him out and feel empowered
Although it was easier to deal with at the time than a shouting kicking out argument, it hurt more a while after when I realised he obviously hadn't wanted to be there for quite some time, and was probably a bit relieved he had finally been caught and could go and fuck around. Didn't last long and I was soon very happy to be without him and making plans to move on and support myself.
Hope you enjoy your weekend break!

Hi Pease just wanted to say hi, sounds like you are awesome. He is a moron. Go enjoy your break, even if you cry in the shower. Then take him to the fucking cleaners. Idiot man.

Again, thank you for the kind words and for sharing your own stories. It's a week today. I feel so bloody sad that he's put us through all this. He has realised what an awful mistake he has made and wanted to come back. It's too late. I feel like there's a rock in my stomach. Still love him (still like hearing from him - WTF is that about??) but hate what he's done. Stupid stupid stupid!

It's annoying, isn't it. Stay strong. I can't really offer any sage advice, as I wasn't strong, and had another miserable year with my ex before I finally saw sense and left.
But, if it's definitely over, try to take a moment before replying to a text or answering a call from him to remind yourself of why it's over and how he hurt you. If you want to talk to him, try to find someone else you can have that conversation with. It's so easy for the closeness to come back and make you almost forget how hurt you are

I hope you still go on your trip Pease, it will do you the world of good. Decades ago I discovered my bf was an utter three timing shit and took myself off to Italy alone. Met a lovely family at dinner one night. They probed why I was alone and once I explained how I'd given my all to this shit only to have it flung back in my face, the husband of the family said 'The best advice you will ever hear is to never give 100% to any man. Give 95 at most, always keep a part of you back because it A, keeps them fascinated and B helps to to bounce back when they let you down.' I've always bore it in mind and it never let me down. Love my dh but will never give me fully to anyone.

He wants to come back? Oh reality's hit then.

Am I sleeping on the sofa?

My first thought was "No, on the doormat."

Have a superb holiday without the fuckwit.