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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Tammybear needs love/help/support/advice/something

122 replies

tammybear · 26/07/2004 16:11

Im so upset I cant cry, and I feel like Im dying inside. Dp's been in a funny mood all day and hasnt talked to me. I just presumed he was sulking, but then he told me he doesnt want anything to do with me, and he doesnt think he loves me, and would be quite happy to never see me again.

He tried to leave me last week, but I begged him not to so he stayed. But something in the back of my mind made me wonder if he was waiting til he left and went back home before he decided to break with me. Plus with this other girl he mentioned (said more about it in another thread) makes me wonder if theres something going on now.

I know there are other txts waiting for me that he has sent me, but I dont dare read them because I know they'll just break my heart even more. Now the water works are starting

OP posts:
Original poster
tammybear · 29/07/2004 23:42

no u didnt offend me mummytosteven. just saying. i guess i still get upset because i think there might be someone else. just seems so weird with what happened on sunday when he mentioned that girl at work and then this happens. i want to ask him about it, but i dont know if it would be such a good idea

OP posts:
Thomcat · 29/07/2004 23:53

It's not worth asking him about it babes. You need someone more mature and more respectful around you and your DD. There's no way he's right for you, or at least not the way he's behaved. When you've got your head round the fact that hes' not right and you deserve more then you can make room for someone else. Meantime enjoy some space on your opwn without someone bringing you down and start putting a smile back on your own face.

mummytosteven · 29/07/2004 23:55

i think probably better if you don't contact him , because i think whatever he says you will end up feeling more upset just by being in contact with him. IMHO I don't think if there was anything in it with that girl at work, he would have told you - and if he was trying to drop hints by telling you that, then you are best off without someone trying to wind you up like that.

Original poster
tammybear · 29/07/2004 23:56

thanks girls

OP posts:
Thomcat · 29/07/2004 23:59

Wish I could do this from my bed, my back is all twisted tying to type in this position at home. TB - are you all right kidda?

Thomcat · 30/07/2004 00:05

TB - TC has to check out mate. Big day tomorrow. Taking the lotmeister to the hossie then thinking about terrifying myself and trying to drive to willow farm to meet a couple of girls and their kids. Must mentally prepare myself for road trip fro hell and the fact that I may end up in Scotland! so scared!

Listen sweet pea, have lovely dreams and think about a future with a lovely kind man and sunny days with you DD.

Night night princess - TC x

Original poster
tammybear · 30/07/2004 00:05

not sure. stopped crying which is something. think ill go bed. my ears are ringing as ive been listening to music really loudly. thanks girls. ill speak to u again. nite xxx

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Original poster
tammybear · 30/07/2004 00:36

well that didnt last long did it

OP posts:
boudicca · 30/07/2004 01:01

i'm so sorry you're so very unhappy,I do hope you can get some sleep and have a better day tomorrow,love B XXX

twogorgeousboys · 30/07/2004 02:42

Tammybear, I've been following your thread(s)and just wanted to join the Mumsnet ranks and offer you my support and a big hug.

If you are able to move on from the dp you have been seeing, it sounds like a really good move.

Of course, it will take time, and it will hurt for a while. But, being honest, the dp seems to see your dd as competition for your attention and affection. Others have mentioned his apparent immaturity, and this is where it most obviously manifests itself. This is not good.

It sounds as though you know what is right for you and your dd and your instincts are telling you that you need to move on from this relationship.

Good luck - its far from easy when you are in the middle of all the problems and the hurt.

Original poster
tammybear · 30/07/2004 09:57

I managed to get to sleep eventually last night. Dont think it was til nearer 2 though. My stupid exp1 (dd's father) txt me at 1am, and I was hoping it was exp2 Pathetic arent i? lol. Ive asked my mum to bring round dd asap as I really missed her last night. Ive put all the stuff hes given me in a cupboard so I dont see it. I have thought about chucking it all away but I think Ill regret it later as there will be a point (I hope) that I can look back and just think of the happy times without getting hurt too much. But I have thought Id send back his stuff, as I have one of his t-shirts and loads of his toiletries. I wish I didnt miss him so much

OP posts:
nikcola · 30/07/2004 10:20

hi babe, glad you got some sleep finally do think about coming to mine for a while and i promise im not a stalker !!
ill be on msn later if you want a chat all the hugs in the world nikkixxxxxxxxxx

Original poster
tammybear · 30/07/2004 10:23

lol nikki, i will think about it. thank you very much for the offer. i have a dd coming round soon, so hopefully ill be a bit better. i really missed her last night. xxx

OP posts:
Original poster
tammybear · 30/07/2004 10:27

he texted me yesterday to say that his dad is going to the travel agents today to see if he can cancel or change the names on the holiday we were suppose to go on. least i dont have to worry about that. pity though

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Original poster
tammybear · 30/07/2004 15:21

Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to keep myself busy?

I spoke to my mum about it, as she doesnt know whats been going on. Ive been upset most of today, and everything just reminds me of him. Even looking at dd, I think of him. I try not to think of him, but I just always seem to be. I keep telling myself all the bad things about him, but Im still wishing he'd get in contact with me. I hate feeling like this

OP posts:
Original poster
tammybear · 30/07/2004 18:38

i feel so terrible. i havent been able to stop crying all afternoon. i dont know what to do. i dont have anyone that i can talk to. i feel so lonely

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 30/07/2004 18:41

hugs tammybear. sorry you are feeling so low. is there anyway you could go over to your mum's for dinner with DD? Is there anyone who could come round and watch a video/have a pizza with you. I'm out this evening at a wedding, but when I'm back in you can msn me if you like:[email protected]

Original poster
tammybear · 30/07/2004 18:45

thanks mts, most of my friends are busy tonight, im not sure about my mum. she did suggest that she could have dd again tonight, but last night i felt really lonely without dd around. i think today ive found it really hard, because i told my mum, so its like the reality of it sinking in.

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Original poster
tammybear · 31/07/2004 11:36

last night i managed to stop crying at about 6:30, dd was up til 10 so was busy being entertained with her although i still had time to think of him, and then i was up til 12 when i started to feel lonely and miss him. I even dreamt of him last night which didnt help. I have been thinking about him all this morning, but havent been getting upset. I just keep telling myself Im better off without him. But now Ive got it in my head that I need to see him. I want to see him but I know its a really bad idea. Just wish this wasnt so hard. Have mum coming at 1 so hopefully Ill be okay this afternoon, although she'll probably start bringing him up which will probably just upset me

OP posts:
Thomcat · 31/07/2004 22:24

Hope you are feeling better and stronger by the time you read this.

Original poster
tammybear · 31/07/2004 22:29

thanks thomcat. he text me earlier, but ive been keeping busy (chatting on here, watching tv, giving dd 2 bottles, putting her to bed and having a bath) Im trying to ignore it

OP posts:
twogorgeousboys · 31/07/2004 22:38

Well done Tammybear.

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