The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New year, old battles, big resolve

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for years, so this time it's me standing in for our wonderful Mouse to invite you on board.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in.

If you want to see what it's like, here's the link to the last thread, the one that saw us through Christmas.

And if you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

REALLY want to get through the weekend AF but have a big event coming up so am trying to formulate a plan

welcome whirly. yes, you can moderate. Not all the babes on here are aiming to be teetotal. Some are and some just want to gain some control back. On top of this bus is Roger, the roofrack of regulation. Babe faire lives up there and she is a great example of a babe who had moderated successfully. I think if you are prone to binge drinking it's more difficult, but it is an option for many babes.
I think this bus is like the night bus too pony
A dull day in work, craving sweet things and already telling myself there will be a long dull evening ahead. Need to re-set and stand firm.

Afternoon babes, well I have managed to get my ass in gear and starting getting the house in some kind of order. I don’t think I can say I have an end game as yet but just what ma said I need to re-set and gain control as don’t have an off switch. Day 4 and the fog is lifting for me but this is dangerous territory, not today as I feel ok, but will be hanging onto the bus for dear life the next couple of days. We just need to keep moving forward and if one of us falls we help each other up again and keep going as best we can x

Thank you demented. I am more of a steady, constantly-topping-myself-up drinker than a binge-drinker. Alcohol-free days aren't really a thing for me and DH. I wish I could enlist his help. But no matter, I will take control of my own time and wellbeing.

I think I need to find a way of convincing myself that life isn't intolerably dreary without regular glasses of wine to add a little enjoyment and glamour to proceedings. I have a fear that I will never socialise again if I can't drink - because I can't be bothered to sit there chatting over a fizzy water while other people drink wine and I notice how dull they are. (Dark memories of pregnancy.)

DAY FOUR is almost over - I may have destroyed my last relationship four days ago, BUT I'm using it to change for the better and learn a lesson about myself.

I hate 5.30🙄

7pm is my witching hour - kids are fed, dishwasher is loaded and there's NOTHING to do. I used to wander off to the kitchen and have a large glass of wine, or a gin and tonic which would signal the beginning of the wind-down for the evening, for the time where I could switch off. The last couple of days were not too bad but today I'm really missing it for some reason. Is four days in a common stumbling block?

Hello everyone.

Hope you don’t mind one extra? Ive joined the Dry January thread, but think that I need to also have somewhere a bit more longer term to hangout.

I’m on Day 5. Doing ok, but know that I’m going to have some close calls coming up.
I’ve been a heavy drinker for some time and it’s started to frighten me recently. At my worst, I can drink a bottle of wine a night which is pretty shocking.

I have so much to live for, but I’m doing a very good job of repeatedly pressing the self destruct button.

Anyway, I just wanted to say Hi. I’ve lurked around here for at least a year, but only just brave enough to try and tackle this problem.

7pm is 'the hour' here too - am so much in the habit of pouring a drink at this point. So I have eaten a pork pie instead 😂 - just as a distraction until dinner...

Boredom busters- please add to this list

New books from amazon / library
Netflix
Jigsaws
Running
Join an exercise group
Volunteer for local homeless shelter / food kitchen / cat charity
Start a free course with open university
Declutter entite house
Make photo albums
Craft or knit or crochet
Instagram- this is an awesome time filler
Follow a sober blogger
Follow a lifestyle blogger - ethical / fashion / whatever
Podcasts- the Bubble Hour is brilliant
Write a novel
Take up painting and make a project

Some one add to this please : )

Evening all. Been on the bus before briefly (think probably this time last year). I need to do something though. Felt so sick today I had to leave work at lunchtime - never had that happen before. Stomach is so bloated and painful.

However as someone said on a previous thread, I know I will stop for a couple of days til I feel better and then I'll be back on it.

I really want to cut down - just to a glass or 2 at the weekend rather than the bottle a night I am currently on.

Evening all, am amazed I have made it to day 4 without tears before bedtime! Almost cracked yesterday as felt so anxious in the afternoon and know that usually the only way to feel better is a nice glass of red (or white)... still on holiday from work so took kids to cinema and managed to quell anxiety with a large intake of fizzy haribos.
So AF status positive, bank balance negative yesterday.

Whirly am also interested in trying to moderate / re-set long-term as drinking is very much something I enjoy and like you, find socialising a bit boring if not drinking. All the occasions you describe are my habits too plus a glass whilst cooking, another after clearing up, rest of bottle after kids gone up. I’ve realised this week just how strange it seems not to go down the booze aisle or call at the corner shop on the way home or walk past the bar area in the cinema where the hoooge glasses of wine on display were so tempting! I’ve just been telling myself that normally I would have sunk about 30 units between Monday and now and to hold fast. I only managed 13 days of DJ last year and had a particularly awful experience due to alcohol later that year, which has led me to try and prove I can give up all together first then think about moderating later....

Evening.
Welcome Whirly, there are all sorts of aims here, moderation comes in lots of forms, you just have to find what works for you.

Welcome Finding you will have to go a lot further to shock us on the Bus - I'm not minimising your drinking, but for many of us, it's not unusual - so I guess I'm reassuring you that we won't judge.

Yorkshire, yes, by day four your body is probably completely clear of alcohol and most of it's immediate effects, you start to feel better; WW starts to whisper, go on, reward yourself, you've done well, you've gone without so you can't have a problem - and what is your go-to reward? A glass of wine!

Today I have finally felt hangover free, but I had to fight to stay AF. Now I've made it to 7.30, I think I'm ok. PJs on, fruit tea in hand.

colouring in is a good boredom buster guggs
well done on day 4 appella. Day 4 for me too which is the first time since this time last year!

I think days 3 and 4 are tricky. You feel you have been "good" for a couple of days, the initial motivation is beginning to slip, it's nearly the weekend, you're getting fed up of whatever your substitute drink is. ...it's a dangerous time and it's where I usually crack.

namechanger are you still with us?
All new babes still strapped into their seats?

Cooking a curry now.... Im twitching for a bottle of beer or wine...I'm eating popadoms dippef in fricken mayo instead.
Im on day 9.

I can and i will do this.

Thanks for the welcome and definitely strapped into my seat!

Looking forward to Day 6 tomorrow and hope to stop feeling so self absorbed.

It’s good to know that we are all facing similar struggles.

Boredom busters: sudoku, crosswords, candy crush
Learning a new language - the duo lingo app is great and free!

I am managing another routine evening at home - fourth consecutive one! - without glass in hand. DH is out tonight, so am spared him offering it to me.

So the question is: would it be wrong to have a glass of wine tomorrow when I meet a friend for lunch? Just the one glass will be do-able. This is the kind of scenario I want to enjoy a drink in - but can I do this without sliding back into the habit of constantly refilling a glass at home in the evening?

I went to a karate class at 7pm and imagined punching the wine witch on the nose and roundhouse kicking her in her saggy belly. That seemed to work very well!

Ooh karate good idea. I can’t do mindfulness or yoga but running about & hitting stuff works.

Great boredom busters , keep them coming.

whirly I probably wouldn’t -sorry! Just because it’s Dry Jan and it’s an opportunity to change habits. Will your friend drink or will she / he be doing Dry Jan? No judgement from me though if you do.

I haven't in my head committed to Dry Jan - just to drinking less, especially at home in the evenings. But am wondering if a social drink at lunchtime would muddle me and weaken this resolve. I'd normally have a drink with the friend I'm meeting - we both would - if we meet for lunch on a non-working day. She might join me in abstaining though if I suggest it.

What I'm really trying to figure out about myself is whether I can be a moderate social drinker - or whether I actually can't, and need to completely stop. I don't know the answer yet.

I get that Whirlytastic i took a few years answering that question. Really didnt want to stop completely. But I was drinking more (and more far too much) rather than less and becoming increasingly unable to moderate rather than more so. But it took a long time for me to come to that realisation.

I feel so much more peaceful now. I don't have the wine conversations in my head. Should I shouldn't I? Can I keep it in hand? Will I have too much etc etc.

Personally for me it's abstinence. The more i dont drink the more releived i am i dont drink the more I feel this was 100% the right choice for me. Good luck with your decision and making the right one for you.

Evening everyone. Day 2 here today and have felt a bit restless and odd. Too exhausted to get down to any sorting or clearing out. Tried to have a nap but brain was buzzing. I am having a couple of bottles of Becks Blue with dinner, and then will probably head to bed.

Whirly I personally would rather have none than one because once I have the first one I would want more. If I decide before I go out for lunch that I am not going to drink then it doesn’t bother me as much. However everybody is different and you may be able to do this. Have you tried restricting yourself to one before? Did it work?