The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New year, old battles, big resolve

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for years, so this time it's me standing in for our wonderful Mouse to invite you on board.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in.

If you want to see what it's like, here's the link to the last thread, the one that saw us through Christmas.

And if you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Fab one Ginger. Hope the slag bol was good you'll have to pass on the recipe .
I now want a diet bitter lemon and it's reminded me that I made a soft drink to bring up to bed and I've left it downstairs. I'm in bed and there's no way I'm shifting now. Will wake up all shrivelled with dehydration cos I can't be arsed moving.

What is this 'exercise' thing of which you speak? I've never heard of it, and I certainly wouldn't want to try it

Lol @venusandmars yes. Exercise? Wtf??? Well it's on my to do list!

And I can't believe I haven't had a drink for 3 days!

@Sequinsofcourse You'll be shrivelledsequins by morning!!!

Morning - day 18! This time next week I will be up and about to make my way to the airport to fly out for some sun. Can't believe there is 7 days left and I've done 18 (well 19 - one fail last Thursday).

Am shattered this morning - I don't like weeks where I have to do 3 days on the trot at the client. That means I've spent 9 hours in transit since Monday morning on top of work...even with 9 hours sleep a night I feel v v tired.

sequins same here - have been v grumpy this week. I also don't really know when I'm coming on exactly. My cycle is shortening as I'm 42 so generally it's now 25 days and I have about one week a month (10 days if I am super lucky) where I'm not hormonal :(.

Feeling hormonal does not help with my resolve not to drink - I have definitely given in to it in the past. x

Morning! Twattage I read your posts and felt envious one minute (flying out to sunny climes in 7 days) and sympathetic (9 hours in transit), I bet you're a mixture of emotions. Well done on 18 days though.

I'm also in my 40s but older than you at 47 and periods are still quite regular at about every 28 days but suffer with PMT like a crazy thing. I used to stupidly have a mad drinking session around PMT time (not being aware of why I felt like I did) to attempt to run away from my bad/sad mood. Can I just say it didn't work well!!
I can't believe it has taken me to 47 to grasp this .
Oh well another mad day of running about to drop/pick up kids from school then clubs and work whilst simultaneously trying to stop myself growling at everyone.

I'm going to try and slot in some exercise but can't see it happening tbh.

Have a good day y'all.

sequins absolutely re the emotions. I should be feeling excited but TBH I'm too bloody tired right now!

I'm definitely going to have an early menopause I would think. My peri symptoms started around my 40th birthday. I used to be exactly 28 days every month and now it's 25 mainly.

I get PMT as soon as I ovulate and it lasts right through for 14 days - mainly terrible sore boobs. I always can tell within a few hours when I've ovulated which is slightly bizarre. I had my boobs reduced from an E/F to a C as they were so heavy and filled with water for that time that I had terrible back ache and it was making my life a misery (hence some drinking). Also I'm 5'2 so v short so also not ideal with enormous knockers sticking out the front.

Now they're smaller I still get the same symptoms and they swell but fortunately no back ache. Anyway I'll stop moaning now! It is v annoying though.

x

Morning All

I used to do weights, and loved it (deadlifted my own bodyweight + 2kg), but I had a personal trainer to keep me working and to keep my technique good. That was in one of those budget gyms, now I have a 'club' membership and I love the classes - pilates, total conditioning, aqua, body balance, but I'm stupidly scared of the gym equipment. Last night was Meditation which was fantastic, just what I needed, but getting a place is like winning the national lottery.

Ginger well done on the assignment, I love mature students, and have so much admiration for the ones who do it with children. ( 'slut-shaming my dinner'!).

Hope, it's the close concentration that really hurts isn't it. My eyes are permanently sore at the moment. Hope the work eases soon - but I remember the pain of your former job, and the redundancy, that side of life must be infinitely better now?

Ma, I look forward to the "AIBU, My MiL is the most amazing, super, sober Babe" thread . The wistfulness (good word) is so many things, hope, fear, regret, excitement; start hat shopping!

Twattage that holiday is positively running towards you - oh for some winter sun.

At the meditation class the teacher ended with a phrase I think I've read on Claire Pooley's blog (is it the Dalai Lama?) ;

"Its is not happy people who are thankful, but thankful people who are happy"
I just think the distinction is so important, and I'm trying to practice it. I am very thankful for the support here on the bus; thankful for the honour (a sometimes frustrating one) of seeing young people through an important stage of their lives, of seeing them grow and move on in my work; I am thankful for the recognition that giving up alcohol is not a loss, it is a gain, it is many, many gains.

My favourite side effect at the moment is that the skin on my neck had begun to sag and look crepey (it's not the right spelling but I hope you get what I mean) and I thought, that's it, I'm an old lady at 46, I might ditch the double chin, but I'll gain a wattle . But no, it's gone, my jawline is still a bit podgy, but the skin is pretty smooth for an old bird!

Anyway, this is no longer an essay, it's a dissertation.

Have a good day everyone. Today we will not drink or we will moderate, and we will be the best babes we can be.

sweet that is great news re the wattle...I was also getting one. I need to go and see what's happened to it when the light is better! x

Morning everyone, I've been reading along ('slut shaming my dinner' ) and I'm at the start of day 18 AF. Not had nicotine for about a week now either. It's so strange how it all feels different this time. Particularly not vaping/ smoking. I've never done as long with nothing as easily before. I think not drinking is helping. I feel oddly calm. Even work didn't create the anxiety it usually does. It didn't last week either. I'm just worrying about it all going wrong now!

I don't really suffer with PMT (luckily) but I'm dreading the menopause. So many women seem to have an awful time. My friend really struggled. I'm expecting to go through it earlyish too as my Mum&Gran were early 40s. I was really regular every 30 days until I had DS and now they're a bit all over the place.

I'm going swimming this morning and I've promised DS we'll bake after nursery.

Hope everyone's day goes well.

Ma Congratulations to DD! Exciting but a bit scary too. I'm not really a fan of change!

Yes congratulations @dementedma - I know a great photography her if she needs one 😉
I've yet to get to that stage with mine - going through the teens so can't imagine them being engaged lol!

Am on day 4. Still so tired but glad I'm still on the bus. I've got my bottle of bitter lemon and I'm enjoying the views!

Thanks for your loveliness all of you x

Day 76 af. Having a bit of a shit time. Couldn't stop crying yesterday. Work is not great and I have a sinking feeling that I'm in a rubbish situation I stupidly didn't see coming. Hope my previous optimism was right rather than my current feeling.

Exhausted.

I'm pleased I'm not drinking just wish I could get a break at work. I have young children so after childcare work for nearly nothing. I keep thinking it'll pay off eventually but there's got to be a give up point.

Sorry for the selfish post.

Weary wave from Day 20...

I’m exhausted. Work is really hard this week, my neighbour’s daughter’s ill and has screamed every night so I’m barely getting any sleep, I have no money and nothing to look forward to and my boyfriend’s being an emotional vampire.

I would love to escape in any way possible right now.

Sorry Babes

SayWhen

Try to find an hour or so to yourself to think about and plan the bigger picture. It can really help lift the mental load. Sometimes just thinking about the light at the end of the tunnel can help?

Yes, congratulations to Ma, my kids are still quite youngish despite me being old so not experienced the emotions of one getting engaged/married. Mind you if they are anything like me I'll be waiting 30 odd years. It probably makes you really reflect on your life and your DD's which will bring along all sorts of emotions. I do have this odd feeling where I do feel quite old relatively and I'm not quite with things ie technology, music, social media. Makes me feel like laughing/crying. Not saying you're old Ma just me thinking about how times have changed and where did those years go I was drunk

Saywhen it all sounds exhausting. I too worked to pay childcare whilst being constantly knackered/stressed/sleep deprived. It does get better. Can you take a day off work just for you?

Dry sorry that you're having such a shitty time. Lack of sleep is horrible and I hope you manage to catch up on it.
Is there light at the end of the tunnel with work, it's easier when you know it won't be awful forever.
What's going on with your boyfriend, doesn't sound pleasant.

Oh @DryFebruary that sounds tough. But well done for day 20! Emotional vampires are the worst. Just split up from mine so going cold turkey on two counts here. Sending a (((hug)))

Thanks Sequins yes there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I think I need a good night’s sleep to see it though! I don’t function well on under 7hrs and I’ve got 5hrs for the past three nights... Think I’ll try sleeping on the sofa tonight to get away from the shouting (that’s a large coffee)

How’s the cold turkey going ginger ? You have my sympathies. Mine’s got anxiety and a tendency to hammer me with negativity, which is a bit much when I’m feeling low myself.

Ho early @DryFebruary I'm feeling angry right now because he's behaving like a total dickhead by telling business colleagues he's the real brains of the business whilst I'm a part time hobbyist.

It's my fucking business ffs! And I run it virtually on my own anyway. So right now cold turkey is easy!

AFTERNOON.
Right, that's the end of my teaching week *(but not the working week), and it would be traditional to open a bottle, I thought briefly about it before I left work, but not seriously, I can honestly say I'm beginning to have periods of time when drinking doesn't occur to me; those can only get longer.

Ginger, what a dick

Dry I hope you can get some sleep tonight, it's tough when it goes on night after night.

How's every one else doing tonight?

Hi @SweetLathyrus well done you. Feeling a bit of a wobble as it's nearly Friday but 4 days is a miracle so I don't want to spoil it!. I have friends coming over Saturday night for dinner so I'm going to allow myself to participate but back on the wagon Sunday.

for everyone who is trying to crack sober while dealing with difficult partners and crappy work situations. You are amazing strong women!! . Day 15 and I will not be drinking. I'm definitely more on top of things at work. Today I even spotted and corrected a mistake in some of my bosses work which would have been very embarrasing. Kudos to me and it makes up for my sizeable cock-up of the previous day

For the first time since being AF, on the way home I went to a shop I often go to after leaving the office. I ALWAYS pick up at least bottle of wine in there. Usually more. But I didn't and I wasn't even seriously tempted. In fact I really didn't like even having to walk past the wine shelves.

Feeling pretty confident I'll crack tomorrow. Hope that's not famous last words. But I need a proper plan to get me through the weekend because last weekend was tough. Very nearly too tough.

In random news - being AF appears to have cured my tinnitus .

KOKO everyone

Ginger, those very early days are SO tough. Are any of your friends doing DJ?

Kind well done on two weeks + one! I drive a different way home so I don't pass my usual shop! Perhaps your tints was blood pressure related and that's why it's stopped - just enjoy the peace.

I got my first "Have you lost weight" today (hurrah!)

Oooooo sweet i'm looking forward to that "have you lost weight" moment. Though given that I'm still eating like they're about to bring back rationing I think it will be a while