The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New year, old battles, big resolve

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for years, so this time it's me standing in for our wonderful Mouse to invite you on board.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in.

If you want to see what it's like, here's the link to the last thread, the one that saw us through Christmas.

And if you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Made it to day 3!!
Not done that for 2.5 years!

well done ginger

ma that is lovely. I don't know what to say about how you feel. I understand it - maybe wistful is the right word?

Well done to everyone staying in hotels and not drinking. I slipped when I did that - not helped by the manager offering me a free drink !

Feeling quite tired although I think I slept well. Meetings and emails today.

Oh - and I know this isn't a diet thread but I find it helps me to keep away from the booze - I have lost four pounds since 1 Jan/not drinking at home. This is despite eating pizza, biscuits, chocolates, chips.....

Maybe I drank more than I thought I did?

Dubh!!!! good to see you, come and entertain us with your venacular....

ma I think that because my own marriage didn't last, I look at my dd with her wee family and feel a whole range of emotions - concern about the impact that having young children is having on her relationsjip; desperate hope that some of the generic problems seen on the relationship board (in-law problems, affairs, controlling behaviour, lazy non-contributing partners) won't happen to her; wistfulness for the happy family that didn't happen for me; and amazement that I have got so bloody old that I have grandchildren and my son-in-law has a responsible job!!

Don't let your dd get too carried away with an elaborate wedding, there is soooo much money gets spent on crap. At the end of the day she wants to focus on being happy with her fiance, not worrying about whether her eyelash extensions are perfect!

ginger well done
rothbury I think wistful is probably a big part of it, yes
venus yes, all of that.

There is no rush for a wedding thank God, not least because we can't afford to contribute much , and I'm kind of hoping they just go off and get married somewhere and then we have a big ceilidh or somesuch.

Morning, day 19 over here!

Congratulations to your DD, ma 24 is young to be so sure!

ginger - well done! Day three is often quite difficult for me for some reason... It was the same when I quite smoking as well, would often stumble on day 3 or day 10 or day 21 - odd!

rothbury well done on the weight loss! I lost nearly nearly 3 stone when I went AF last year and annoyingly put on over a stone when I started drinking more regularly. I am so cross about that as it takes me so long to lose weight compare to some and I fought so hard for every one of those lbs, so to put 14 of them back on is plain stupid! gah!

I haven't lost anything really over the last 17 days according to the scales, however I tried to wear a new dress on Christmas day and it was just too tight, put it on this morning and it just slipped on with room to spare - the bloating I get from booze is monumental.

sweet I am tired too....despite getting a good nights sleep, I am just generally really tired. I guess the detox takes a long, long time...

Morning all babes. I was a passenger on previous buses but stopped posting for a while. I'm trying to moderate, which over Christmas didn't work too well.

Well done to everyone!

gingergenius great stuff. Loubilou with smoking they say it takes 3 days to go through the chemical withdrawal so it makes sense that day 3 is hard, maybe its the same for drink?

I've had a bit of a revelation recently that I wanted to share. Now I have always disliked exercise, I was last to be picked for games at school. On a whim I decided to join a gym, initially to go to some gentle classes and use the pool to chill out. Once I had done that a few times I decided to book a gym induction and started to do some proper workouts. At first I was a bit horrified at how difficult I found it.
10 minutes on the exercise bike and I was exhausted. But every time I go, I can do a bit more (apparently its normal when you are very unfit to see results quickly). To my complete amazement I now get a real buzz from it afterwards. And in parallel, my mid-afternoon/ early evening wine craving seems to have vanished. This is amazing as I have been in this bad habit for 15+ years of craving a glass (bottle) of wine when I get home from work. But knowing that I am going to the gym and can't have a drink seems to have broken the spell somehow.

So I am doing so much better at maintaining my goal of not drinking at home. I am also watching what I eat, and so hopefully this year I finally stand a chance of losing the chub.
Anyway I'm posting this in case it helps someone else as I never thought I would become a gym goer. I don't think it has to be the gym, the key thing is to change your habits to do something new that distracts you from the wine bottle.

Morning all - fantastic to see Dubh missed you and your fantastic turns of phrase!

Ma I think I understand your feelings and perhaps wistful is the right word, our children grow and spread their wings and have it all out ahead of them don't they?

Hello everyone, I can't keep up with you all!

Please help me stop eating the Christmas leftover chocs, they are doing my waist and skin no good at all.

Everybody seems to be doing pretty well at the moment which is good to know.

Ruby I have embraced exercise in the last 12 months and it has dramatically helped me stay more AF than I have ever managed in the last 20-25 years.

I was quite an exerciser in my twenties and something went wrong when I moved into my own flat and started drinking a glass of wine a night, this quickly turned into nearly a bottle of wine a night and has stayed that way (and more) for the last 20 odd years. Now I got to at least 2 evening classes a week (3 or 4 if I can manage it), I took up running and am training for a half marathon (slow and steady but still doing it!), I have just started cycling and joined a new gym with the hope of adding in some weight training this year! Exercise gives me a real buzz and when I am AF I try and do 1 hour of aerobic exercise plus a 3-4 mile dog walk everyday - the buzz replaces the wine buzz for me!

Keep going :)

Dubh !!!! So happy to see you back - I often think of you and wonder how you and the terrorist are getting along! How the devil are you?

Ma you must have the Tiara of Tremendousness permanently glued to your head after the triumph of birthday and hotel abstinence - go you! I hear you on the DD2 front though. Often wonder how I will feel when my two get married. Even though I know you really like her OH and approve, it is hard to see your child move on so decisively I suppose, and I think Luxury has hit the nail on the head with the word 'wistful'. But you are close to her and am sure it won't change things drastically in your relationship. And in line with what the wise Venus just said, she seems far too sensible a lass to become one of those infuriating Bridezillas, obsessing over table favours and screaming 'But it's MY SPECIAL DAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!' when someone queries the wisdom of a crystal encrusted veil, so you'll be good there! (I have recently muted a (vain, competitive, irritating) friend on FB who has just got engaged and is now filling her feed with agonising over her 'perfect' day - over 12 months in advance FFS!)

Rothbury, February congrats on your respective AF day counts, and your weight loss Rothbury, and on that subject, Ruby (welcome back by the way) I am totally on the same page as you regarding the gym.

I am rubbish at 'depriving' myself of drink or food, but am great at 'doing something positive' instead. Which for me now is the gym. I have been this morning. I am going tonight as well. I go most days and since joining in March last year have lost 22lb. Which as I am menopausal and had not shifted any poundage since getting very fat around the perimenopause is amazing. The high I get from going to the gym has replaced the one I get from wine, and the sheer hard work I put in there makes me naturally not want to ruin it by eating crap. As I am an all or nothing sort (I think which applies to quite a few binge drinkers like me) I am a bit obsessed by it and will stop now as could bore on about it day and night (I make a huge effort never to mention it IRL apart from to my actual friends from the gym, as apart from my fitness mad DS everyone else's eyes glaze over when I begin enthusing about the latest body pump class). But I guess an obsession with the gym is a huge improvement over a fixation with Malbec!

Need to get back to work now - not sure how I ended up on here in the first place but hope you all have a fab day x

Waves to all the other babes out there

Hello everyone, I am still battling on this week towards the end, despite a very stressful day yesterday.

Ma, congratulations to your DD. I understand that mix of feelings about it. You might feel differently when she comes home and you can give her a big hug.

Can I please have a big hurrah?

Had to call into the shop. Just handed in my first uni assignment and would normally treat myself to a bottle of plonk. Had to buy stuff for slag Bol and not only did I NOT buy wine for me, I also bought a small bottle for the bolognese sauce and didn't have ANY OF IT!!!!!

That's a major first for me!!!!

Go you gingergenius !!!!!

Yay Ginger that is brilliant - you go girl and enjoy your bolognaise

Ma great news from you DD2!

Lol at slag Bol. Slut shaming my dinner and I'm not even pissed!!

Well done ginger! Enjoy

Ma congrats to your daughter. I had mixed feelings when my son got married, brings it home that they’ve grown up, and not your baby any more.

Evening all - day 17 nearly over...the month is actually flying by. TBH when I'm drinking I always have the perception that time goes v slowly when I'm entirely sober. However that appears not to be the case! Although it could be the volume of work I have on at the mo.

On the exercise front - I also hated exercise, I was always the chubby girl in ballet, last to be picked for lacrosse etc. Then in 2013 I decided to take up running - I only do 5k and don't really have any appetite to go further (although have done 6.5k once) but am really enjoying my clear-headed running.

lou yes the bloating is terrible isn't it - I always put weight on on my tummy (am an apple) and therefore it is magnified. I've also gone down a lot but not stepped on the scales as yet. Waiting to see until the morning of my hols next week.

rothbury 4 pounds is brill :).

Sorry I feel really boring this week and with v little to say. I have been at work and sleeping and not much else.

x

Slag bol - crying here at that!!! I was thinking WTF??? ha ha ha

Well done one the restraint genius that is amazing!

Ooh a wedding Ma well if ever there is a reason to look the best you absolutely can it is now, so a great time to be AF and good long term motivation :) how exciting, if a little nerve wracking. I can't advise as my children are younger, but sure I will feel the same as you when the time comes.

Another night in this hotel, but took my own advice and have just slogged it out in the gym for two hours and feel a lot better. Haven't done much for 4 days with travelling and being out of my normal routine and am feeling it so now feel quite revitalised and have kicked the wine witch into touch - she was hovering a bit at 6.00pm...

Lookingforhope ha you sound like me, I go to a particular HiiT class and can rave about it for hours and I watch people glaze over in boredom....I have now tried to get about 6 or 7 friends to come along with me but most are resisting LOL.

Keep on keeping on everyone! Day 17 nearly in the bag

Well done ginger. I think you deserve to wear the frock of fabulosity for that one. Thank you all for your kind words.
I am comforted that she won't be a Bridezilla. they are going shopping for a ring today (in New York!) - mine came from H Samuels in Liverpool - but she sent me a Whatsapp saying "I'm going to choose the cheapest one because I would feel terrible otherwise". Bless.
I promise I won't bore you all to death about it after today. Far too much me on this thread at the moment. well done to driers and triers.

Twattage yes apple here too - a huge Wine Waist.... :(

I liken myself to an Egg on Legs - it makes my children laugh!

LOL to the egg on legs - I have had my boobs reduced so things are not so bad, but I did remark something similar to my husband this morning...have terrible PMT right now so even without the booze I am currently whale-like (although would be much worse + beer). x

And the slag bol - mega LOL!

Also PMSL at Slag Bol - Ginger, slut-shaming your dinner had me crying with mirth!

Ma your DD sounds so lovely

Lou perhaps we need another thread to prattle on about HIIT and suchlike. I did a Step class tonight (my gym is mostly blokey stuff like Circuits and Rig but one female trainer does a nice line in retro aerobics type things) and was grinning like a maniac. I also love boxing and lifting weights. Though today a trainer hung me upside down from the rig and that was just ridiculous and embarrassing! I looked and felt like like a worried bat in lycra.

I am STILL bloody working at almost 9.00pm. I could cry. Have some sympathy for you academics with your endless marking. Head is aching and I have a 36 page document to proof read and a bid proposal to write before Friday. Back to it. Still ... Day 17!

And bloody lovely slag Bol it was too. My boys wanted to have some of my diet bitter lemon. I grabbed the bottle and practically hissed "my precious" at them - they were most put out that I wasn't wallowing in wine as usual!! Oh how saintly I feel right now!

Hi all. This is Rubyrubyredlips with a name change cos of Rubyred2017 on the bus too. Thought it would be really confusing having such similar names.

Anyway I agree with the exercise thing, I swear by it. Keeps me focused and less likely to have to fight with the Wine Witch.

I'm fighting PMT at the moment that's enough for me. God it makes me irritable and short tempered. I find everything so annoying. I'm hoping l will feel 'normal' again soon.