The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New year, old battles, big resolve

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for years, so this time it's me standing in for our wonderful Mouse to invite you on board.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in.

If you want to see what it's like, here's the link to the last thread, the one that saw us through Christmas.

And if you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

I forgot to ask, how is everyone doing today?

If you're into double figures (or more), hurrah! If not, you soon will be, those little days add up.

If you've had a drink, don't beat yourself up, don't give up giving up.

Day 13 here.

I feel worn down. I’m doing everything right in terms of not drinking, exercise, eating well and socialising but I’m still stressed out, broke and tired. Ordinarily I’d be looking forward to a weekend blowout but now I don’t even have that.

thanks all. we've had a history of this all through high school but he really had improved this year. He found that he enjoyed and was good at music, loves,loves his sound technology class and joined the percussion band and show band, took part in the school concert etc.
Now there is an issue with one teacher and one subject and the school guidance team are being absolutely bloody brilliant, bending over backwards to resolve this and come up with a workable alternative and he is just not meeting them halfway. So frustrating to see the old DS returning when we briefly had a settled and good run.
The school are really trying to compromise and he needs to man up and deal with this in a more mature way and work at the compromise. I'm angry with him. He's stubborn and throwing away his future on one tiny sticking point. Why are all males such knob heads? On the plus side, I have finally sorted out my mother's mortgage - no thanks to you Halifax!!! - and DD1 is still with us but didn't get to sleep until 5am so is about as much use as a chocolate fireguard.
sigh there is still DD2 to keep me sane, although Babes....I have NEWS! Or potential news...it all depends if she says Yes or not....
OMG. I wish it was next week before I let slip what her lovely BF is erm... proposing.....

Hello
I hope you won't mind if I jump on the bus.
I was here many moons ago and sadly since then have spent more time off than on the sober bus.
I have been drinking most nights, as much as 2 bottles of wine.
I can't do it any more. I'm exhausted and depressed, I'm functioning as a half-person.
I want to check in here if that's okay as I think it will help me to be accountable to myself. Ho hum.
Happy New Year to everyone
softbelly x

Ma, you'll be looking for hats before you know it .

It's good that the school are being supportive or proactive, I hope you can get through to him.

Dry, the temptation is to think that everything will fall in to place if we can stay AF, but being sober just makes it that bit easier to work out the crap that we have allowed to build up. But it is just that, 'work'. It will get better. your reward for not drinking will be that you have the energy to start making progress, because you ARE doing everything right. Keep it up.

Soft, welcome (back), the units add up so easily don't they? Is today day one for you? Do you have a plan?

Sweet hi and thank you for the welcome :)

Yes Day 1, sigh.

My plan so far has been to be as open about it as i possibly can. Today I met a close friend who had no idea of the amount I was drinking and basically told her, that I had a big problem, how much I was drinking etc.

She was great. She told me that I was obstinate and single-minded when I was set a challenge and she didn't doubt I can manage this. I'm not so sure but I love her for putting her faith in me while my faith in myself is zero at the moment.

Tonight I am going to hot yoga. This is tricky as usually I get home and start drinking, but I can't forego the yoga as it does me so much good mentally. Although all that mental good is unravelled by the booze that follows.

My plan is therefore no booze in the house and no cash or cards with me when I go to yoga.

I am currently waiting for my lovely housemate to come home so I can face up to the shame of him getting home last night to find me drunk and ranting, ditto the night before

Good plan, but also make sure you have an alternative drink to hand. Your friend's faith in you should be very encouraging

Dryfeb I totally know what you mean. Even if I could see some results of weight loss it would make me happier. But as people have said on here we must keep going and the rewards will come!

6pm making cooking tea. Where is my glass of wine? I miss it. Not wanting to insult real grief but it does feel a little like grieving. A very me me me stage of grief.

sweetlathyrus really, go for the cider vinegar. You dilute a tsp in cup of warm water, pour a little in the palm of your hand, close one nostril and sniff it up. It's OK, it's nothing like the pain of snorting tequila😂

Jog, I have a very sensitive little hooter, I just can't even imagine!

I have to admit to not having done much in the way of cooking for the last 11 days so that I could avoid the Keith Floyd style cooking and quaffing. I've been having a largish late lunch so that I only want something light in the evening, crumpets or something like that. But DS is old enough to fend for himself, as is DH!

Jog How did you discover the cure of cider vinegar? I don't have sinus pain (yet) but do still have this horrible cold. I've had a right pity party today!

DryFeb The good things will come. Just keep at it. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

Ma I dread having a teenager. It's not for ages yet but I'm well aware DS's likely to be bigger and stronger than me by the time he's 12. I've no idea how you're meant to make them go anywhere. At least the school are being supportive.

Hi Ladies

Day 9 here. Feeling so much better but can't seem to stop eating all the food. Put on 9lb since NYD

welcome soft. Stick with us babe, the bus is sparkling with positivity at the moment.

creepy day 9 is excellent, well done. Deal with the booze first, it is the thing doing you the most damage. MIFLAW used to say deal with whatever will kill you first, and he was right. I actually pulled over at the shop on the way home tonight to buy some chocolate as i was absolutely craving it so i had some.Better than a bottle of wine.

baking it's not easy when the buggers are huge and hairy with giant man feet and can pick up up and throw you onto the bed yelling "oh yeah, smash down the old lady. Get in!"

Im teetering on the edge of falling into the sidecar (which I think is the correct bus terminology for 'I really REALLY want a glass of wine'). I think it's because I'm tired and just slightly pissed off for no apparent reason. I'm hoping Becks Blue will take away the urge...

Ma that sounds really difficult. Hope you can get DS back to school, sounds like they have been really supportive which is great. My (12 on Sunday) DS is only 5cm off my height, it's a bit scary to think how big he's going to get...

Day 8/9 here, 5 in a row which I am amazed at! I wish I could report a boing but I am still constantly shattered despite sleeping so well that my body aches when I wake up because I haven't moved in 8hrs. Weekend will be a challenge, DS's birthday plus I will be child-free on Saturday night. Not sure whether to allow myself Saturday nights and not drink the rest of the week.

stay out of the sidecar yorkshire.God knows who is in there sleeping one off.
Down the Becks Blue and do the drill. Teeth, pjs bed. you will be so proud of yourself tomorrow.
I am in bed with hot chocolate and day 11 incredibly and unbelievably done and dusted.
for those not seeing a weight loss please keep at it. I can see quite a difference in my shape now and it's making me feel more confident. An upward spiral instead of the usual downward one.

Hello brave babes! Sorry I've been away for a few days - kept meaning to check in but have been so busy distracting self. Just catching up with you all.

So on 1 Jan I decided to find out whether it's possible - for me - to drink moderately rather than constantly. I haven't committed to giving up entirely, but aiming to not drink at home in the evenings during the week, and to drink in a restrained fashion at weekends.

And so far - I know it's early days! - I'm doing it. I am breaking the habit of pouring a glass of wine between 6 and 7 and then topping it up til bedtime. No wine any nights this week. Same last week.

For me it really is a habit. I like not drinking more than I expected - am getting more done, reading more, talking more to my teenager, sleeping better. And definitely getting up more easily in the morning!

This week I met a friend one evening and went to the theatre. We met beforehand, and 'usual me' would have had a glass of wine or two with my pizza. Instead I had a soda and lime. And I had just as good a time.

Tomorrow I'll allow myself a drink in the evening. But I'm not craving it. I think I can drink moderately - I just need to re-train myself and not fall back into the old ways.

Slight problem though: DH seems to be drinking my share. And he is finding me annoying. He totally assumes I won't stick to it.

well done rose. they do grow into big buggers. I am 5 7" and DS towers over me. I only reach up to his chest now. he takes size 11 shoes. And the amount of food he consumes....

Like you I have a dilemma over drinking this weekend. its my birthday and the dds are cooking a nice meal. But I'm scared that one night will lead to another....and another...

A sober birthday would be a wonderful present to yourself, Ma.

Yorks the craving is temporary, think about feeling proud that you didn't drink tomorrow morning, instead of kicking yourself that you did. What's the H.A.L.T. triggers? Hungry, Angry, Lonley, Tired. They are all things likely to have us reaching for a dink out of habit.

Rose, you have to decide whether it is right for you, but I find the constant bargaining with myself (only weekends, not in termtime, only in company . . . ) exhausting, more exhausting than the simple, but not easy "I won't drink."

Hey, Whirly.

Sweet, the constant bargaining point is a good one. It's too early days for me to have seen this for myself yet - and I think it's something I may have to see and go through, before concluding that not drinking at all is simpler. Sigh.

Yorkshire I hope the becks blue dampened the urge! Hope you're ok and in bed all tucked up

The 'boing' happens at different times for all of us. Mine took approx 2 weeks. Try not to project too far ahead, take one day at a time babes, it only gets better and better. Promise. Weight loss will come, better sleep will come, patience will come, remembering will come. There are so many 'firsts' at first and it's exciting times. A new year = a new you

Early days and weeks there was no way I could have booze of any kind in the house, far too tempting.

Whirly DH will just have to get used to the new you. He's probably being fricking annoying and the fact that he doesn't think you can do it would spur me on even more

Ma I'm sorry you're going through it with DS I second Sweet a sober birthday would be a monumental present to yourself, for you and you only. Upward spiral is goooood and the confidence will get better and better

Night everyone and huge well done to everyone who's trying, abstaining, cutting back, whereever you are on your journey - you are all ace x

ma the best birthdays I had were not fuelled with champagne, but when I was 6 or 7 and had sausages on sticks, fizzy red juice, jumping around games and a new colouring book. and a kiss on the lips from Mark Simpson

Day 12 here. Not sleeping well - the first week was marvellous but I'm now trying to wean myself of my anxiety medication (which has the side effect of lovely sleep and I'm carrying on with it just for that, which has to stop).

Fish and chips last night as we were both tired and unexpectedly at home for the vending - I won't lose weight this way.

Morning babes,

Think it’s day 11. I know that the second week can be tricky because it’s early days and our bodies are reacting to having far fewer calories /sugar. Definitely a good time to keep going. Seem to remember it gets easier after week 2.
I’ve had a few set backs this week,really minor stuff and it’s hard to feel cross or upset or disappointed without rewarding myself with a big glass of wine in the evening. I realise that it wouldn’t help me to get things done or sort the problem out though,it would just distract me and then i’d have to deal with the problem anyway.

Right now i’m Keeping in going and see how long I can stay af for.

Happy Friday

I did it, I drank my Becks Blue, brushed my teeth and went to bed. I still don't feel like I'm sleeping that well but at least I'm not waking up at 3am for a pint of water and an enormous horse wee. Day 12 - treaty haircut booked in order to spend some of the £50 I've saved so far by staying off the wine!