So me and my mum have fallen out and aren’t speaking because she always moans about watching my sons when I ask her too for a few hours so me and DH Can have some quality time together - you know go out for a meal, go to the pub without having the kids interrupt. My DC’s are aged 5 & 3. My mum is aged 53 and yes she works full time. She works 9-5 Monday - Friday (like me and everyone else on this planet) and has weekends off. Every time I ask if she will watch the kids for a few hours while me and DH do something together she moans - “well how long will you be”, “I don’t want to watch them for too long” , “I’ve already got plans”, “I already did my bit when you and your sister were young this is what happens when you have kids”, “I’ve been at work all week”, “why does everyone want my time”. We have an argument every time she comes out with this shit because she should want to see her grandchildren right ? I used to make the effort to go and see her until I realized if I never seen her she would never make the effort to see us. She has a partner (it you could call him that) who she has been with for 13 years. For some reason my 5 year old son will not be in the same room as him, my son will scream, cry or won’t even look at him if we see him. If my mums DP goes to my mums house and my son is there, my son will cry and scream, until her DP just goes “I don’t want To listen to this” and he goes home. May I add her DP doesn’t have any kids and has never lived with my mum, hE has his own place. Before anyone asks - have I asked my son why he doesn’t like my moms partner - he says “I don’t like his face” and has been like this since 2 years old. Now my anger stems from I feel like my mum will not help out with the kids because she is more bothered about trying to see him (even though he isn’t bothered about her really).
Example of her selfishness - this Christmas: me and my two sons arranged to go have dinner with my mum, my sister, my sisters partner and my Nan (my mums mum.). I felt I should have dinner with my Nan as this is was her first Christmas without my grandad (he died a few months ago), and my mum is an only child. So I thought having my sons there would cheer everyone up. My Nan has also broken her hip so is not mobile at all and her bed is downstairs. Anyway I got there at 1pm for lunch, we had all finished lunch by 1.30, my mum then goes “well now I’ve finished I’m going to meet XXX (her partner) at the pub”. I was just sitting there like oh okay you’ve not stopped long then. And she was like no because I’m going to the pub with XXX for the last hour as they close at 3. I just said ok. So she left to walk her dogs, then called me half hour later saying “how long are you staying at your nans for because I’m thinking of coming back over now if you’re stopping there long”, I replied “why, I thought you were going pub?” And she goes “Oh, XXX wanted to go for more than 1 hour so he said there was no point in going”. So basically because he blew her out as such she wanted to come back to her own mum and daughters As she had nothing better to do (the way I see it). Her DP probably sat at his home on his own as he doesn’t celebrate Christmas.
Am I being childish? Just feel like she has no time for me and I’m done with her. I’m 25 and my sister is 22. She got my sister a few presents and asked me a week before Christmas if we could leave presents this year as she hasn’t been in the mood/time with her mums broken hip. At this point I had already got her presents. Then my sister told me my mum had to quickly run out to get me something for Xmas.
Sorry for the rant I’m just fed up of her. Her and my dad have been split 13 years as he is an acloholic. It was what needed to be done at the time but Even when it was just her looking after me and my sister on her own she just used to go out Friday/Saturday nights to go get drunk and leave me and my sister at home on our own (I was 14, my sister was 11). She used to tell me I couldn’t stay out past 8-9 o’clock - probably because she wanted me back home to sit with my sister. I have questioned her about this before now I have kids of my own - I used to ask her about this when I was 13! Her reply was / is “what did you want me to do, sit in on my own while you and your sister sit on your laptops”.
Maybe I’m the selfish one? Oppinions ?