NC for this as quite outing. Wasn't sure where to post but thought relationships might be appropriate.
My friend's son is in his early 20s. He was super bright all through school (described by his physics teacher as the brightest pupil he'd ever come across) and sailed through all his exams, 11 A GCSEs, 5 A* A levels, and on to a top university.
He has always been quiet and introverted, but when he went to uni he seemed to cut off completely from his mum, dad and stepdad. He came home once in first year and then basically didn't come home after that. Purely by chance, when a letter was sent to his home address in error from the university, they found out he had changed his name. He went ballistic when challenged about it, and said it was nothing to do with them. He did an internship abroad at the end of his second year, and then at the beginning of his final year he announced he was dropping out of uni. I suspect he was kicked out, as it has since come out that he never attended lectures or tutorials after first year.
He stayed in his university city, but then vanished. His family reported him as a missing person, and the police did find him, but as he is an adult and did not want them to know where he was, they couldn't give any details. They have recently found out that he was initially sofa-surfing and then living on the streets and eating out of skips behind supermarkets.
In August he turned up unannounced at his mum's, after no contact for nearly two years. He moved back into his old room but is a mess. He barely talks, he doesn't wash or eat properly, he has no income, refuses to sign on, and he is aggressive and violent. He's threatened to kill his mum. They are scared of him, and tiptoe around their own house speaking in hushed voices. He refuses to get medical help, and my friend asked me to have a word with him (I was pretty close to him when he was younger and I was one of the few people he would talk to, even though it's about 3 years since I've seen him).
I knocked on his door and opened it just tosay hello. I was really shocked. The stench made me gag - I've worked with homeless people and they were never as bad as this! Apparently he hasn't changed his clothes or bedding for a couple of months and his mum had found dozens of bottles of urine hidden in his room. He refused point blank to speak to me. He was gaunt and skeletal, his hair was greasy and matted, and he scarcely had the energy to sit up (his mum called on me when he hadn't eaten for several days, and wasn't taking any fluids).
I went downstairs and said that I really think he needs perhaps to be sectioned. He obviously thought I'd left and stormed downstairs screaming at his mum that she had no right to tell anyone about him, and that he'd fucking kill her. He was really shocked when he saw me walk out of the kitchen and realised I'd heard all this, and ran back upstairs.
It's affecting his mum and stepdad's health (his father has washed his hands of him, says he can't cope with him), but they say that as he's not registered with a doctor they can't do anything. My friend said she was worried about what the neighbours would think (wtf??! This is so not like her!) if ambulance and police came to section him and I'm afraid I lost it and said well what would they think if she or her son were carried out in a body bag, as I can see that happening if he doesn't get help.
I'm at a loss as to what to do - does anyone have any experience of mental health intervention for adults? I really do think he needs to be in hospital.