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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did he cheat?

77 replies

AAA89 · 20/12/2017 18:37

Hey guys this is my first post here I really just need some advice.
So I've been with my OH for 4 years I had a daughter before we met and we have a little girl together. He is a great dad i cannot fault him on that, in the past he has not been honest with me about money but we are working on that. A few months ago I was sending an important email for him and came across 2 rather private photos of one of his female friends, when I asked him about them he told me that one of his other friends has been sleeping with her and sent him these photos so he put them in his email so he could confront her with them (She is married and has 2 kids) he admits he was stupid to do that and to not mention to me about it when he found out but the problem is now I don't know what to believe and I can't face being around his friend as she's either 1 having an affair with my OH or she's having an affair with someone else. It's really starting to get me down and if I try talk to him about it I know he will ask why I'm brining it back up again. I should also add he says he said about it to her and she replied well my husband does it to me so why shouldn't I do it to him.
Appreciate any input I feel rather lost with it all
Thank you for reading :)

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 20/12/2017 18:38

He's lying

FreeNiki · 20/12/2017 18:42

He may well be lying.

However my friend is famous for over sharing and repeatedly sends me revealing photos of whomever she happens to be shagging even though I've told her not to.

Things like whatsapp and messenger auto download and I didn't realise that. So I once came across a load of photos of half naked random guys that my friend had sent me. God knows what a boyfriend would have thought If they came across all that in my phone.

So maybe. But you I dont believe him.

CR7987 · 20/12/2017 18:47

Lying

f83mx · 20/12/2017 18:49

Even if he's telling the truth - what was he going to do with the photo's? blackmail her? confront her? if you were going to talk to her as a 'friend' as he supposedly is you would hardly go to her saying i've got these private photo's of you which x has sent me - which i didn't delete - would you?

AAA89 · 20/12/2017 18:49

Hey thanks for the reply
I have a friend the same too much info sometimes and had to turn off the auto download feature because I didn't want then photos on my phone lol the problem is they were in his email not on his phone. I just don't know if it's me being paranoid I believe it's something she would do but I honestly thought he would never do something as he swears he wouldnt because his dad did to his mum

OP posts:
AAA89 · 20/12/2017 18:50

I know that's what I said he said he just had no clue what to do

OP posts:
bringbacksideburns · 20/12/2017 18:51

In the words of Mandy Rice Davies - he would say that, wouldn't he?

AnyFucker · 20/12/2017 18:51

They all come out with crap like that to throw you off the scent

It's akin to swearing on their kid's/mother's life. Total bullshit and if you fall for it you are a fool.

Fatrascals · 20/12/2017 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at request of author

BrokenBattleDroid · 20/12/2017 18:55

Surely he should be able to show you the email from his friend that originally contained the photos? Or the email he then sent to the woman to confront her?

If these have been mysteriously deleted then, well, that's pretty damning. It's a very odd story so my spidey senses would be going into overdrive too.

CR7987 · 20/12/2017 18:58

They all come out with bullshit excuses.

Starlighter · 20/12/2017 19:03

He told me that one of his other friends has been sleeping with her and sent him these photos so he put them in his email so he could confront her with them

I don’t understand this explanation at all?! It makes no sense!!

This would definitely ring alarm bells with me and I’d be doing some investigating.

AAA89 · 20/12/2017 19:04

I feel like I should maybe bring it up with her and see what she says, the whole thing makes no sense to me.

OP posts:
AAA89 · 20/12/2017 19:06

His friend messaged him on Facebook apparently and he deleted it.

OP posts:
XX27 · 20/12/2017 19:10

Liar....

Mrscaindingle · 20/12/2017 19:12

His explanation makes no sense, if a "friend" of his was sleeping with this woman why on earth would he send your 'D'P nude photos of a mutual friend?
If it quacks like a duck.... sorry not what you're wanting to hear I know.

CR7987 · 20/12/2017 19:12

If it smells like bullshit, it usually is bullshit.

NaiceBiscuits · 20/12/2017 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlwaysPondering · 20/12/2017 19:13

So he deleted the fb message with photos, but not the actual photos he saved? I'm leaning towards bullshit.

Flowers for you.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 20/12/2017 19:13

You know what, I could believe that excuse if it was on his phone. (WhatsApp autosaving photos etc)

But on an email? Sounds suspect.
Did you see the address for the sender of the email?

BrokenBattleDroid · 20/12/2017 19:14

Well why the heck would he delete it and save the photos. No, no, no.

If my OH or I got a facebook message like that we'd be ringing the other one and work to tell them what x had just sent them. And even if he had deleted for some reason why does he keep shutting down conversation. He knows it looks bad so should be putting your mind at rest, not minimising! It's fishy. Whether it's an affair I don't know, but he's hiding something.

AAA89 · 20/12/2017 19:15

I understand that guys send each other photos i have a few guy friends so i know what they can be like, i have no clue why save the photos i asked him if it was for viewing purposes and he said no he was deciding if he should tell her husband or not as they are friends aswell

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Farfromtheusual · 20/12/2017 19:15

What do you mean they were on his email? A draft email? In his inbox? In deleted folder?

AnyFucker · 20/12/2017 19:17

No. "Guys" do not send dirty pics of women they are shagging to each other.

People who are shagging each other do that.

AAA89 · 20/12/2017 19:24

There were in a folder in his email marked stuff with other random emails from his work etc

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