Blackmail

[user21]

It’s tricky for me to go into detail but I think I may have just done this.

Has anyone else ever found themselves in this situation on either side for whatever reason?

I feel uneasy 😟

Didn't you say earlier that it wasn't in actual fact blackmail? Or is it now?

Blackmail
Ultimatum
Coercion

Whatever

Are you going to behead his pets? Do you want money? Are you going to tell his employer he likes to be called Shirley at weekends and dress as a baby? Are you going to stop doing his laundry if he keeps leaving it on the floor instead of the laundry basket?

Really going to need some more info.

Blackmail, ultimatums and coercion are really not the same thing. You keep calling it blackmail and so you can’t have honest motives for what you’re proposing. You shouldn’t, therefore, do it.

I fail to understand how anyone can help you OP. I could give you as much advice as I like, but it might not even be relevant because you're being so vague

What exactly is it you’re worried about, OP?

That what you’re doing/thinking of doing is an arrestable offence?

Or just that it’s a bit morally grubby?

So you are the OW and you want him to tell his wife?

This will unlikely lead to a happily ever after. Three possible outcomes that spring to mind: They work it out, he dumps you. She dumps him, he dumps you. She dumps him, he moves in with you, looks for a new OW.

I suspected that she HAD claimed the full amount from the insurer and effective ripped me off anyway- I told her that if she didn't pay I would approach the insurers with my invoice- showing the discount and thereby potentially exposing her fraudulent claim (if she'd made it) she paid immediately- so I presume she DID commit insurance fraud and that my blackmail of her was effective.

This isn't blackmail worriedaboutchristmas. Sounds like whistleblowing.

OP, this is all very vague, whiny and annoying. Sorry.

For God's sake just come out with it.

Let go.

If it’s meant to go it will

If you are not being left alone, go to the police.

What sort of revenge are you planning?

pax OP stated she was not the OW.

I wonder why the op seems so interested in hearing other people's stories but won't tell us hers....

Slow news day is it??

starfishmummy

Apparently she can't tell us hers because it's her life and not a source of entertainment for us.

But of course totally reasonable for her to ask us to share ours

Well that was a few pointless clicks

Binary exactly the same thing happened to me but I can't tell you about it.

I was blackmailed by an ex. My mother was terminally ill. He told me he wanted £2000 or he'd phone her and tell her about some shitty things I'd done - I'd cheated on him, he claimed to have found some dirty emails exchanged between me and another ex (not cheating emails - dating to before that relationship). I was desperate to avoid stressing my mum out so paid up with my student loan.

It was a shitty thing of him to do. If it's the right thing to expose someone, you do it without money. Otherwise, you're a cunt. Either for hiding secrets that should be revealed because you've been bought off, or because you're using secrets as a weapon.

Whatever it is...it's not worth it.
No good will come of this.
Better to get on with your life.

Blackmail. Ultimatum. Coercion. Whatever

You know there’s a difference between these things, right?

00100011 or whatever

The irony of someone with a username like 'user21* mocking someone for the name '00100011'.

OP, I've seen 00100011 posting for quite a while. Never seen you before so not sure why you feel superior.

I quite like being called the dismissive "or whatever"

those in the know call me Binary

D'oh! Seems my C in GCSE Maths doesn't extend that far!