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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

BF shared a picture of him and his ex. Weird or normal?

157 replies

NonplussedwithFB · 28/11/2017 15:33

DP and I have been very dodgy lately for various reasons and I'm hormonal so I don't really trust my judgement. It's about shitty FB too so look away now if you hate it.

This morning he has shared a post from that timehop thing. The post is a picture of him and his long term ex (no kids, not married but together over a decade) from 8 years ago. They broke up 6 years ago.

We've been together 2. His family don't seem to like me very much and his mum still has pictures up of his ex, so I'm very sensitive. Do you think it's weird that he's shared it? He's friends with her on there so she will have seen it. As will all his family. As yet nobody has liked it. WIBU to put a 'love' on it Hmm sarcastically!

OP posts:
user1499786242 · 28/11/2017 20:14

Fuck that!
LTB

Original poster
NonplussedwithFB · 28/11/2017 20:28

I proper went to town with him and basically put lots of Bea's points to him and now he is ignoring me so I am guessing you are all bang on.

OP posts:
Greedynan · 28/11/2017 21:10

Or he has no come back because you're right...

GottadoitGottadoit · 28/11/2017 21:29

Definitely done the right thing.

Original poster
NonplussedwithFB · 29/11/2017 09:39

Still ignoring me and still zero likes or comments on the post. I don't know why but I'm glad.

OP posts:
Myheartbelongsto · 29/11/2017 09:44

I would not like this and would probably go nuclear.

My boyfriend had pictures of his ex on his Facebook in an album and I asked him to remove them. He said he would but didn't so I liked them and 5 mins later they were gone and he apologised.

Your boyfriend should not be sharing any pictures of his ex at all!

mickhucknallspinkpancakes · 29/11/2017 09:46

Sounds nasty to me. I could understand it a bit if they were married for years with kids, family connections as grandparents, in laws etc but it's just bizarre.

Is she in another relationship?

I couldn't live with that. Hope you find a peaceful path OP?

FizzyGreenWater · 29/11/2017 09:53

OP, it's the watershed. I really hope you completely drop him now - and his crap family. You could do about a billion miles better.

dentalplanlisaneedsbraces · 29/11/2017 09:54

Block him op. Ignore him the way he's ignoring you. Don't ever speak to him again. The satisfaction will be immense. Take the control back.

TheNaze73 · 29/11/2017 10:27

I don’t think whether he’s blocked, ignored or shouted at by you, will make the blind bit of difference.

Think you’re a placeholder until he gets the real deal back.

You’re better than that

Sparkle331 · 29/11/2017 10:44

It doesnt sound like you are in a relationship at all, It doesnt even soundlike he likes you.
Get rid of him before you have nake aby real commitments I.e kids marriage.
You are wasting your time.

Sparkle331 · 29/11/2017 10:45

Make any*

SonicBoomBoom · 29/11/2017 11:52

It sounds like he's posted it in a way that only you are in "group" who can see it.

That's what it's sounds like to me, if your sister can't see it, and nobody else has liked it.

Which means he's done it specifically to get a rise out of you.

Definitely ditch the fucker.

drainsup · 29/11/2017 12:36

OP, I could have written this, this very week. Someone shared a FB memory collage with my H. Lots of old friends from 20 years ago. The collage was created about 5 years ago when my H was married to his ex. He's told me about the fond friendships. He tagged me in the re-post. When I looked through the pics, there was one of his ex and him. I wasn't impressed. Unlike your situation, none of H's current circle have any contact with his ex mostly because she's just generally vile. Not one of his friends liked the post which is unusual. He didn't realise she was pictured there and was remorseful and apologised, took it down.

Original poster
NonplussedwithFB · 29/11/2017 12:43

That's the difference drains his response was:

'I don't get it. It was a photo on Facebook. Aren't you overreacting?'

Exact words. And now he's ignoring me as though I'm in the wrong. I know I'm not and I'm really angry. He's lost me over this. I earn way more than him, I'm much better educated, have lovely DC's and friends and a good home and he lives in a shit hole area, in a dead end job, skint and with no mates. I don't know what I was thinking sticking with such a loser.

OP posts:
DiscotequeJuliet · 29/11/2017 13:15

Nonplussed, sounds like he's one of those men who feel threatened by women who are more successful/earn more than them. I wouldn't be surprised if his behaviour is a way to attempt to make you feel shit about yourself and ruin your self esteem. He knows you're better than him, so he's trying to pull you down.

I think you're doing the right thing to cut your losses before you end up trapped with him.

PNGirl · 29/11/2017 13:31

Ditch him, honestly. If he shared it there is meaning in that whether he admits it or not. She takes more headspace than she should but you take less.

FizzyGreenWater · 29/11/2017 13:37

Well done!

Sorry but this made me laugh:

And now he's ignoring me as though I'm in the wrong - Grin
I'd love to see his face when he catches on that he's rather 'ignoring' into the void as you simply aren't there to ignore any more and he has been DUMPED!!!!

Please, don't EVER get in touch with him again. Absolutely just leave it, and pretty soon he'll catch on and won't be able to get in touch with you quick enough - either to rant as he realises he's been dumped alreaday and didn't even know - or to beg forgiveness.

Either way, when he does catch on - you simply reply 'Sorry, we're long over. Thought you might have caught on to that one already! Looks like you were actually in a huff with me which is rather funny - talk about slow on the uptake. Best of luck for the future but please don't contact me again. All the best, Nonplussed'

YouNosyTwat · 29/11/2017 13:43

I think he's set his settings so that only you can see that particular post and he's trying to goad you into finishing with him as he's a coward.
I'm so Sorry, I don't want to sound horrible, but it happens.

hellsbellsmelons · 29/11/2017 14:02

Well done OP.
You now know you can do far far better than this loser.
And even you don't know why you stayed for so long.
But you did - lesson learnt - move on!

CakesRUs · 29/11/2017 14:18

That's really unkind of his family tbh and he really should know better. It would hurt anyone's feelings. I really hate how social media has become a way of bashing folk in a crafty way. FB has had its day (I hope).

CharisMama · 29/11/2017 14:21

Wow. That would be a devious way of ending relationship

CharisMama · 29/11/2017 14:22

That was wrt nosy's assessment. It sounds not impossible in the circs

mickhucknallspinkpancakes · 29/11/2017 14:41

From your last post I think @DiscotequeJuliet has hit the nail on the head.

He's feeling insecure and jealous and he wants you to feel that way too.

Do you have any nice shots of you with an earlier more handsome boyfriend, in a bikini somewhere exotic? Wink

Actually just block him on face book and block him out of your life and memory.

wednesdayswench · 29/11/2017 14:54

Very poor judgment on his behalf, what a shitty thing to do.

It sounds like the straw that broke the camels back for you, and you honestly sound way too good for him.

Good riddance to him, his baggage and his unsupportive family, and on to better things for you.