looks like it's over

[mylittlestar]

well after everything you will have seen so far, and my happiness at dh and i giving our marriage another go, sadly it doesn't look like that is possible anymore.

i've been feeling down the last couple of days and couldn't put my finger on it. thought it was probably a bit of paranoia. the pregnancy scare etc. but looking back dh had also become distant and withdrawn and i think i was picking up on that.

i checked his phone this morning. there was a message in his saved items to the ow. basically said of course i'll get up early to come and take you to work. i'll leave a bit early so we can have a little kiss before we set off...

confronted him. he swore he hadn't been back in touch. then has admitted that after his paranoia that i may have met someone on my work night out last week, he got back in touch with her.
don't really know much more than that and there's no point in asking as i'm not sure i could believe what he tells me anyway.

i had four main reasons for giving things another try. my love for him. the fact that anyone can make a mistake once. the fact that he swore he hated living a double life and would never want to live that way again. and finally, the fact that he said after seeing what he'd put me through, he'd never put me through that again.

just 4 weeks later he has.

to be honest i really don't want to turn this thread into a session to slag dh off. i don't understand his reasons and never will. but i do love him.

i think perhaps it's time to let my head rule my heart and make myself wake up to the fact that he doesn't love me in the same way i love him.

one day he'll realise what he's lost and what he's put me through. and i truly believe that nothing i say or do from this point on will have any impact. it's up to him now.

i've come into work to try and take my mind off it all and calm down. so i'm ok. i'm glad i have MN to get all of this out as this time i do not want one single person in RL to know. i don't want people getting at dh. i don't want people telling me 'i told you so'. i don't really want sympathy.
i'm sick of my life being one big drama after the next. i want to focus on me and ds and i want a happy quiet life filled with love and laughter. if the only way to get that is being alone with ds, then so be it. i'm truly blessed to have him.

so perhaps this thread should be about how i can now move forward without the love of my life and my soul mate....

Lilyloo, you're approved.

;-)

PC, can you bump it for me please, can't find it.

here ya go

Thanks

Thank you. Before I do. What is it???

LOL

still have problems on this thread could i get added to the msn group??

Message withdrawn

IOHW, you're accepted.

Someone else has applied but hasn't given me their MN nickname.

If that's you please can you re-apply and tell me your MN nick otherwise I won't know who you are and I'm only going to approve people I/we know.

Thanks Paddlechick

Confession time

Think maybe the other person is me. I clicked on your link, applied and it gave me an ok message in the nickname I use on an abusive relationship site. Soooooo, I tried again and this time it used the nick name I used on a Narcissitic site!!!

I must be getting old. Ive just spent half an hour trying to work it all out and trying to put a message and a photo on. I'm having a rest from it now or the laptop might end up in the freezer!! I will try again later.

Nice to meet you anyway paddlechick lovely photo

good skills IOHW, your posts and pic are up!

the gallery of stunners has begun altho I rather think I've got a bit competition now you're there

d'you want me to approve your other application as well or are you happy as you are?

ps: you look as kind as you sound too

i tried to join but im just getting a blank screen, whats supposed to happen

Hi MLS

You are a much better woman than me to meet the other woman and not scrap with her....you comforted her (smile) not surprised she called you amazing.

Now her hold on your DH has gone hopefully he will cut all ties with her and become the husband you deserve.

I did read bluebubbles post and think
"what a strange thing to say if she can live with the man I am sure the walls are not an issue" Perhaps she was suggesting we all come round and do an extreme makeover

I hope you chose an expensive bed LOL

that's weird. you should just click on the link in this thread and that will tell you it's a private group and to click on the apply to join box then i get an email asking me to approve you.

just add your MN name on your application.

hth

Hi only just managed to get on. I'm doing surprisingly ok.

mel, ernest - good to hear from you too

Anniegetyourgun thank you for that lovely post too.

Thanks for looking out for me everyone - if I'd have read bluebubble's post last night I'd have broken down! But she's entitled to her opinion and I appreciate anyone even taking the time to read and post. Fwiw - even if ds liked, looked up to, enjoyed seeing the ow - nobody will ever come close to being his mum - that's me, and we have the most special relationship in the world. That's all I need to know!

As for the bed/house comment - the house is already sold. We're living in temporary accomodation at the moment as we split just after we sold our house and even though I could afford it, I didn't want to go through with the purchase of the home we'd chosen as it didn't feel right.

So the house has gone. And so has the bed!
Everyone happy!

Off to see about this MSN thing - have never used it and no idea how it works so here goes...

contentiouscat thank you

(And I chose the most expensive one in the shop!)

MLS

Sounds possitive - i wish i could have the meeting with the ow. I dont think she will ever say sorry or see it from my point of view and i hate having anyone feel i am not a good person even her!

But i know i am a good person full of compassion and forgiveness which i dont think she is and i would never do what she has done.

hurtwife you are worth a million of her and I know what you mean about not wanting other people to think you're not a good person.

But the bad people are her and your dh for what he did at that time.

Your love, compassion and forgiveness has given your dh the chance to put things right. The ow doesn't deserve one moment longer in your thoughts xx

So... who's still not signed up to our MSN group then?! I'll be checking! Now I can finally work it!

Why thank you for the kind words paddlechick Your photo is beautiful too, you look lovely. I don't know why, it must be your nickname, but I imagined you to be a bit 'duck' looking, with a big beak

I tried putting one of my DD on but it didn't come up, it just stayed as the MSN thing. I might have another go cos I am proud of her and I would love you all to see her

No need to accept the other name thank you. I'm happy with this one xx

IOHW your daughter is gorgeous!!!
(And so are you of course!)

Have just come back to say the same about you!!

Blimey, from what ive seen of both you and paddlechick your men must be absolutely bloody crazy!! But then. maybe it's the pressure of having such gorgeous wives that they can't stand

Thank you for your kind words MLS. I think she is gorgeous too but i'm biased xx

right! that's it! going to post a blimmin gorgeous picture of me now!

bugger, just remembered i don't have any LOL!

might have one of my wedding but that was 2 years ago and i ain't been glam since LOL!

ah well, i'm the sporty type so can't be expected to keep up with the gorgeous-ness of you two.

LittleStar and IOWH Junior are very cute, Little Paddle is of course the cutest

seriously tho, ain't it great to see what we look like!

It's brilliant but... i think I look the most gorgouseist cos i'm an old bird

Only joking! Paddlechick you look beautiful so stop running yourself down. And your little girl is beautiful too

It is great to see what we all look like, i'm loving it. We can put a face to the moaning now

I might post you a pic of my gate

I set myself up and was accepted, but in a name that I think my sister used to set something else up. It is all a bit weird. It has accepted my changes to nickname, but keeps showing the old name, which is not one I want to keep...HELP!