What do you think of drugs?

[ChickenMom]

I’m wondering what everybody’s opinion of Cannabis is? Are you ok with it? Am I just being an out of date prude? We have two small children and my DH smokes joints everyday. Apart from stinking out the house, I find it affects his motivation, energy and moods. Is it something you’d be ok with? It’s not hard core drugs and I guess I should just get over it but I do think how would he feel if I was downing a bottle of wine every day? Wondering what the general consensus of mumsnet is

Cannabis is illegal. There is no place for it in a family household.

Do you drive?

Can you point me to a study that shows that marijuana consumption before driving is linked to an increased risk of accidents? I am aware of numerous studies that show no significant increase in risk

For example

"seven studies using culpability analysis have been reported, involving a total of 7,934 drivers. Alcohol was detected as the only drug in 1,785 drivers, and together with cannabis in 390 drivers. Cannabis was detected in 684 drivers, and in 294 of these it was the only drug detected.

... The results to date of crash culpability studies have failed to demonstrate that drivers with cannabinoids in the blood are significantly more likely than drug-free drivers to be culpable in road crashes. … [In] cases in which THC was the only drug present were analyzed, the culpability ratio was found to be not significantly different from the no-drug group.”

REFERENCE: G. Chesher and M. Longo. 2002. Cannabis and alcohol in motor vehicle accidents. In: F. Grotenhermen and E. Russo (Eds.) Cannabis and Cannabinoids: Pharmacology, Toxicology, and Therapeutic Potential. New York: Haworth Press. Pp. 313-323."

These results have been replicated many times.

You're living with an angry drug user.
Time to make a change.

Are there any studies on whether it makes you completely tedious and irritating to your sober spouse though? I think i know what the result there would be.

I think that using marijuana every day for non medical reasons is excessive. I also think that occasional recreational use is fine, even as a parent. It's no different than drinking alcohol moderately and is actually better in the sense of no hangover, less impairment and no long-term damage. There is so much misinformation and hysteria around cannabis use, it's actually funny.

Smoking around children though, and stinking out the whole house is not acceptable. Nor is checking out of family life in favour of getting stoned.

Children that smoke cannabis before the age of 13 are 10 times more likely to develop psychosis.

Your house stinks of it you say? Your kids are passively smoking it. How utterly utterly selfish of him! Stop being so passive and tell him to stop putting your kids health at risk!!!

Oh my, PsychedelicSheep, yeah, I actually didn't realize most people in the UK mix with tobacco. We'd never do that (I have in fact never even tried any tobacco, in any form -- my grandmother died as a result of her cigs). It'd be considered pretty odd to mix them here, and certainly the part people would be a bit scandalized by would be the tobacco (California is extremely anti-tobacco, I don't know anyone who smokes it).

FWIW, for all the "stoned people are awful to talk to" jokes, my in-laws didn't realize I used marijuana until I told them, and at that point I'd literally (due to anxiety spiked by my ex's parents for whom I was never good enough) never visited them without some THC assistance. We're not all "what if the colors you see aren't the same as the colors I see?!", and I think a lot of people who act like that are playing up.

Wow...these replies are really interesting to read. Thanks everyone

I've been around a lot of stoned people in my time and have yet to meet anyone who can hold a reasonable conversation with me while I'm sober, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. Clearly the OP doesn't feel like she can get much sense or intimacy out of her partner.

I get what you're saying - I'm on morphine, have been for a very long time, and no one has realised I'm on anything since I first started it and was pretty out of it for the first few weeks. People tend to be pretty shocked when they find out.

I'm sure it's possible for stoned people to be the same, I just haven't met any. Maybe if you use it as I take morphine (not excessively but just enough to make pain or other issues manageable) it's different. I suspect this guys aim is just to get stoned though - and that is definitely tedious if you're not stoned too.

It’s illegal to drive under the influence of drugs. If you drive with THC in your system are you not breaking the law? What’s the limit where you are? Is one even set, like alcohol?

I’m well aware of the pharmacokinetics of cannabis use. And also well aware that it contains compounds that can be useful for some patients. Right now the risk/benefit balance for the general populace is not favourable, hence it’s illegal in the uk. Work is ongoing to isolate the good bits and hopefully that will happen quite soon.
However, it’s wrong to say it’s totally benign. It isn’t. and it has potential long term effects. An awful lot of the patients in our trials of anti psychotics have a history of heavy cannabis usage - it certainly can contribute to psychosis in susceptible patients.

Which isn’t really the point of this thread - OP is asking for advice on how to stop her house stinking of weed and her husband being a grumpy paranoid addict who is checking out of family life. Whether it’s dope, or cycling, some men seem to think they can check out completely. OP is rightly not happy with that.

Not saying this is the right solution in the long term but in the mean time, what about him setting up a shed right at the bottom of the garden.
I think if the smell is all over your house, surely it'll be on the kids clothes and they'll smell of it at school.

Was he smoking weed when you met?

Occasional use I am fine with but regular use when it's affecting his motivation and your quality of life as a family is absolutely not acceptable. To the same degree as anyone who drank too much. If it's affecting family time then I would have a huge problem with it

I used I mix it with tobacco, before I knew better! Now I vape. It’s a different buzz too I think, feels much heavier and fuzzier with tobacco and lighter/cleaner without.

OP maybe your DH would consume less if he used it differently?

My ex was a cannabis user. Everyday, pretty much all day. First thing in the morning to last thing at night.

Honestly I would never be involved with anyone like that again. He was lazy, didn’t ever want to leave the house or do anything, moody, argumentative, the list could go on forever.

Especially if kids are involved then I think I’d have to ask him to stop or leave.

Cannabis, pharmaceuticals (within reason) and alcohol are the only drugs permitted in my house.
Obviously the cannabis is smoked outside (not by me) but a lot of friends and DP smoke and tbh I'd rather be around a stoner with the munchies than an alcoholic who's having a sniff.
completely different things in my eyes

Plus if we were in America it would be legal. I know people who use it medicinally and good on them, I wish it worked for me and I didn't have to rely on the GP

Nope. I wouldn’t be ok about being with someone who was drug dependent (even some prescription meds).

Definitely not ok with being with anyone who uses illegal drugs even occasionally.

Probably especially cannabis even more so than other drugs as it stays in your system for so long.

Habitual drug users always say ‘oh it’s just x it’s not a big deal, you are just an [insult that minimises your feelings]’ about whatever it is they are using...

It’s illegal to drive under the influence of drugs. If you drive with THC in your system are you not breaking the law? What’s the limit where you are? Is one even set, like alcohol?

In the uk there isn’t a limit. No THC is allowed and it can be detectable in blood for 30 days.

My dh smokes it every evening. He runs his own business. Doesn't affect his motivation or energy at all. He doesn't sit stoned unable to communicate intact I can honestly say I don't notice a difference at all. He doesn't do it near our house or kids. Can't say it actually affects my life in anyway and if it weren't for the fact I do know he does it, he could be doing it and I wouldn't be aware.

If it affected me or the kids or our relationship or him negatively I'd be telling him to stop.

Most weed grown in the uk is grown using trafficked slaves, many are children. Might make him think again. Will post an article about this with figures.

www.theguardian.com/society/2017/mar/25/trafficked-enslaved-teenagers-tending-uk-cannabis-farms-vietnamese

When I was 22 = amazing and the basis of many a good night out

As a mother ( at not much older than 22 when I became one ) = not for me and certainly not in anyway having a place in family life

No I'm not old, boring or prudey

Not acceptable in my eyes, I'd not tolerate a partner who did drugs just as I wouldn't choose one that needed alcohol on a regular basis or who smoked.

What sort of an example does it give the children much less the risks of passive smoking, judgment impaired etc.

While I get the comparison between weed and booze in terms of effects, one big difference is that 3 glasses of wine when the kids are in bed will not make their school coats stink. 3 glasses of wine won't show up if you tested their hair for substances. I guess it's like cigarette smoke, those who do it don't notice the smell as much. Everyone will notice the smell of weed around you, your home and your children