What do you think of drugs?

[ChickenMom]

I’m wondering what everybody’s opinion of Cannabis is? Are you ok with it? Am I just being an out of date prude? We have two small children and my DH smokes joints everyday. Apart from stinking out the house, I find it affects his motivation, energy and moods. Is it something you’d be ok with? It’s not hard core drugs and I guess I should just get over it but I do think how would he feel if I was downing a bottle of wine every day? Wondering what the general consensus of mumsnet is

So now he is a genius?

Daily makes him is a drug addict dad. And hell no I wouldn't let him within a mile of my children. What on earth are you thinking? I'm surprised teachers haven't report suspected abuse - little ones clothes must reek of it. Yes, it does cling even if he doesn't do it anyway near them. Perhaps you are used to the smell so don't notice it? Kids smelling of cannabis at school is a big red flag at my teacher DD's school . Selfish prick.

No, just no. Life is hard enough without drugs eating the mind of your DP and altering them daily.

I want both my DH and I to be present and with it in our lives. Especially for our kids. It's also important to set a good example.

Ah, he's a misunderstood genius!

Marijuana doesn’t have physically addictive properties, so he shouldn’t be experiencing withdrawal when he’s not using.

Whatever the technical description of addiction is, it can be extraordinarily difficult for some people to stop smoking marijuana. It is effectively addictive, and yes, there can be horrible withdrawal symptoms including rage and low mood. You don't say what age your husband is, but day after day of smoking, year after year, and he could become more and more paranoid, with phases of extreme unpleasantness, with a lack of any ability to really get anything worth while done. He may even develop schizophrenia.

It is true he may suffer from underlying depression too.

Meanwhile you and your children have a zombie to react with rather than a father.

Meanwhile you and your children have a zombie to react with rather than a father.

No, don't worry, KindDogsTail, the Zombie thing was an error. OP's husband actually smokes weed and then dashes off to do genius-level Maths AND Physics.

Probably the same as people that think that wine o’clock is acceptable

No way. I would not accept it or tolerate it, not even once in a while.

I would not be ok with this. My ex partner did this (pre kids) and I left him mainly because of it. I never asked him to give up but found he was so de-motivated and not really pulling his weight / making most of life. I now know he’s happily married with kids and gave up (by himself) which is great!

My DH has dabbled with stuff in the past and he knows I’m not keen, it’s happened twice since we have had kids (on a night out no kids) and he knows I don’t like it but feel it’s his choice and generally he is very responsible so I don’t bother much. He wouldn’t dream of doing anything in the house.

My best friends hubby also does this (he works nights and uses that as an excuse) but I know it bothers her and as their baby (tiny) grows up she will probably start to question it.

Can you ask him firstly to completely stop in the house (bad example for the kids) and see where that leads?

Thanks to everyone who has given useful, constructive and non sarcastic comments. For somebody who is possibly facing the end of a long marriage and the emotional disruption for me and our young kids, the sarcastic comments are really, really useful. To all who have replied honestly and without rudeness, I thank you. I’ve found it really helpful to read your opinions

People who take drugs are brain dead idiots.

Thanks windowboxes. I will do that

Hi Op, in answer to your question on how to deal with this.

Small steps.

You could start by insisting he only smokes away from the house (in the garden/shed or similar). This would help to stop the smell and stop normalising it around the children.

Does he just smoke spliffs or does he also smoke pipes/ blunts or bongs?

I have name changed not that it matters.

Creambun

It would or wouldnt bother me depending on his functionality after smoking, and whether he could easily afford it.

Someone sitting there wasted during the day with no motivation - no way.
Someone who has a spliff or two and is still able to work and lead a normal life, then I dont see that as a big problem, providing it is not putting the rest of the family into hardship.

I could never get stoned during the day as it makes me sleepy and not able to have a proper conversation, but I have known many other people in my life that are able to use it and it enhances their creativity, and productivity or just relax them.
Have also known many stoners that are as good as useless after a smoke, and that is boring and I have no time for it

Personally I could not be with anyone who did any drugs especially when there are children involved. It doesn't set an example to the children as well as the obvious destructiveness.

missbax yes I'm totally anti drugs, even more so when children are involved. Can't stand this cool mum's/wives shit that is okay for dp to be taking illegal drugs.

Creambun errr it’s not okay which is why I’ve posted 🙄

But nice to know I’m considered “cool”

I was addressing missbax who seems to think that being anti drugs is a weird stance.

Plus (if you’d read the whole thread) you’d see the issue is that he’s not a brain dead idiot. He’s smoking spliffs and working on cutting edge mathematics and that has enabled him to become a multi millionaire. So not exactly brain dead or an idiot 🙄

creambun my eye roll was at your statement "People who take drugs are brain dead idiots."

I'm guessing you feel the same about alcohol/cigarettes/coffee/proplus/etc?

If hes smoking and still managing to function properly and can afford it, then i dont see why its anyone elses business tbh. A lot of people who use it daily, use it to self medicate for anxiety or depression. Its not like theyll just be fine without it and its not necessarily like taking psychiatric drugs is necessarily any better or side effect free.

It’s affecting the family though - op says the house smells of it, which means the kids will smell of it. That’s a big deal and could lead to a report from their school.
He’s paranoid when he doesn’t get his fix. He’s out of it in the evenings. He’s smoking indoors.

Op is unhappy - to be honest it’s no different from the men on here checking out of family life by drinking, going out all the time or cycling - it’s still the same problem. Putting their own wants ahead of the family needs. Op doesn’t get to do that and not do the kids. Ergo husband is selfish and needs to give his head a bit of a wobble.

Cannabis induced psychosis - please think about this, it will all come crashing down if this happens.