Friend with Benefits says 'I Love You'

[Daughterofanarc]

So I met this guy 3 months ago and was really attracted to him. We were both single. He said upfront that he’d had a really horrible breakup just over a year ago and he felt scared of getting into a new relationship. He suggested something that sounded very much like friends with benefits. I thought about it and then agreed. But what actually happened was that we went on dates (restaurants, drinks, etc) for about 2 months with no sex.

Then we finally had sex. The sex was out of this world amazing. A couple of weeks ago he told me he loves me. We see each other about twice a week — we do a variety of different stuff including going out to dinner, just going for long walks or drives, nights in etc. I’ve met his work colleagues and some of his family members. He calls every other day or so just to talk. He’s making plans for stuff for us to do in the future. We don’t have sex every time we see each other but when we do he stays over, we hug all night, wake up together, go out to breakfast, or just sit in my crib drinking coffee, talking about the future, talking about our work etc. Then we reluctantly part ways until the next time.

There is a LOT of affection, a lot of gazing into each other’s eyes all the time, etc, and hours and hours of kissing.

Is this how friends with benefits arrangements usually work? I’ve not been in one before.

Now, now Kr1st1na - I was more interested in how the copywriting was going!

@ferando81

Well it seems it is a relationship. Sometimes a situation just evolves into a relationship without really discussing what's happening, I guess x

This is exactly how my relationship started (except we agreed to seeing each other exclusively but no meeting family, friends, announcing on Facebook etc) by the 3 month mark we were in a relationship, by 6 months we moved in together and now 2 1/2 years on we are still very happily together! Good luck to you and just enjoy the journey :)

kr1st1na, do you mean the copy writing job that pays enough to make a living from one small firm ? (starts rethinking career options)

@Mouseville65

That's lovely 💕

Did you two ever have a talk about where things were going?

Yeah enjoy the journey with a cannabis addict. You might want to consider that before you get knocked up.

Well I have had FWB before with a few of the elements you describe such staying the night together, intimacy, guinine care, going out for dinner, having nice times together that didn't involve sex and general enjoyment of friendship. What some people describe as FWB would be to me simply more like fuck buddies. But then i suppose we all have different takes on lables? But there are a few things you do that would be bounderies for me in a FWB such as calling each other once a day, introducing to freinds/family, monogmony (I'm assuming you both are). Definitely sound more than FWB. So be careful of doing this but not confirming it as something more. The lack of bounderies in a more serious thing could really increase the risk of hurt.

@1DAD2KIDS

In the end we talked about our situation. He said he sees himself as my boyfriend

Daughterofanarc great stuff, wish you all the best.

(I was on a completely different page when posting)

Thanks @1DAD2KIDS xx

If you are 39 years old your posts sound very immature and you are acting immature too by not using contraception.

Ok thanks for your opinion @sunshinesupermum

Ah, I see @shatnerswig has been at it again

Op if this is real then TBH I think you are nuts to be trying for a baby at 39 with a drug addict you have known for a couple of months. I agree this is perhaps forgivable if you were 19, but not at 39 with an adult DC....

I'm very grateful to Shatner, when he's on the case I can relax.

Shucks....

What Offred said

I in the same situation from last 3+ years.
We are in same office. I love him but he doesn't want to get married for some unknown reason.
Also when asked he said he loves me but as a friend.
I knows his family he too has met my family and talk to my elder sister very nicely.
We enjoys being together, whether it's having sex, roaming around, having food together going out etc etc.
He shows his care, affection many times the only thing is is he doesn't wantd to get married neither I want to force him to do so.
We are happy together.
Does this mean we are in relationship and just FWB kind of a thing??

@ntodankar5355, you really need to start a new thread of your own - this one's quite old and people will probably end up just replying to the original message.

Start a new thread ntodankar as this one is 3 years old!