Is it really a ****hole, or does she just not want us round?

[PollyGasson24]

I've always had the smallest house in the family, currently the inside living space is probably the same as dsis house, but her garden (which bil maintains) is much bigger. If I planned on having anyone round i would fit in a good tidy and clean around children (when young) and work, sometimes up til late to do so. I enjoy having family round, so the cousins can play together while young enough to still enjoy it.
Dsis never invites us (or anyone) round. Same number of kids, usually a couple of work free days in the week, yet says she can't get on top of the mess. Dm has offered to help a number of times, but gets turned down. She's not antisocial, disabled in any way or depressed, so I don't get it. Right now I feel like I don't want to invite them round anymore, as I cant see a good reason why it's not reciprocated, but the kids enjoy playing together. I've been to dsis house twice in about 20 years, once invited, the other out of necessity. I just don't understand it. Any ideas?

So why keep banging on about it in relation to me then. Ridiculous.

I hate people in my house so can see her point . Not everyone enjoys company

Yes, OP, people responding to a thread on a public forum is ridiculous

what you're such a GF I can't help responding
There's a big difference between the many ppl who posted their opinion on here and you, who keep repeating the same point which i have already addressed, insisting I am ignoring you and am wrong, then when that has been covered, call me rude and continue in the same vein for some time. Including citing inaccuracies - which you have incorrectly stated and chosen to ignore when called out. Because it seems that even when you're wrong you think you're right, and 'I really don't care what reason they choose to believe' seems an indication of this.

mum yes, i can understand that. Though she does enjoy ppls company a lot elsewhere. She seeks it out, so not just gritting her teeth and putting up with it. If the issue is not enjoying ppl in her home, thats obv fine, but I wish she'd say that if it is the case, because the only other reason her house could be sufficiently messy to warrant no visitors for this many years is if either there is some physical /mental issue (which there are no indications of) or she just can't be bothered making that effort in this whole time...even so, plenty of pp with the same dislike/anxiety over visitors have said they do make the occasional effort....