Why do so many people get divorced?

[DaisyRaine90]

Seriously, and I say this as someone who was a single parent for 3 years before meeting my fiancé and having no 2

Why do so many people get divorced these days??

My whole childhood was blown apart by my parents getting divorced, but I know other people who waited until their kids had flown the nest and others still who stay married for decades

What sticks people together and what divides them? Why do we have such high divorce rates?

Because divorce is now accepted as the norm. And as more and more people divorce the more normal it becomes. I think if you get married thinking that it's ok if it it doesn't work out because you can get divorced - then your shouldn't be getting married in the first place. If your parents are divorced then you are more likely to get divorced because you see it as something that can happen. If no one in your family has ever divorced then you probably will stay together and work through whatever problems your are going through.

People rush into marriage. You need to get to know each other properly then live together. Lots of the divorced people I k ow rushed in and didn't really know their partner deep down. That takes time. Not something you can learn in a year or two.

My ex intended to marry forever, too. Shame he was such an arsehole.

Given that so many divorce, I actually wonder why so many actually get married although now I am older and wiser I do think it is important if you are female, have children and become more dependent on a joint income.

As we keep posting
We didn't know when our Father's walked us up the aisle that the lovely man standing waiting for us would turn into a violent pig.
Cannot predict that even if you've lived with him for years

"work through" "rush in"

Seriously do you people hear yourselves. No one enters marriage expecting it to fail. I had known my exh for years before we dated and we had lived together for 3.5 years before getting married. Nothing in his behaviour for 10+ years of knowing him indicated how he would behave once we were married.

Should I have stayed and waited patiently for the next slap or wait until it was a beating?

Comments like your are why so many women feel like they can't leave, like no one will believe them. They are terrified of being told they should have worked harder at their marriage.

I hope those of you posting the inane and ridiculous comments never have to suffer physical abuse, never have to suffer being so terrified of a bus being late and meaning you will be late home because the second you are not home on time your home will be ringing, yelling and ready to kill because obviously the bus wasn't late you were just dropping your knickers for whatever bloke looked your way. Or that you never have to suffer the humiliation of your dad sitting you down to ask if you are having an affair and telling you he won't be cross,but to please tell the truth and the look of uncertainty in his eyes when you vehemently deny it.

Apologies the bloody app is deleting paragraphs again

Or that you never have to suffer the humiliation of your dad sitting you down to ask if you are having an affair and telling you he won't be cross,but to please tell the truth and the look of uncertainty in his eyes when you vehemently deny it.

Ohh. I had that yesterday. Apparantly stbxh nor my parents can understand me wanting to be out of an abusive marriage without having someone to shag.

Divorce rates were never lower because people were more committed, worked harder at marriage, didnt rush into it and all that bollocks.

Divorce rate was lower because women didnt feel they could leave. Women had no way out and had to put up with tons of shit. I know which way i prefer it.

I suppose everyone’s different. I think everything’s quick & disposable now so if it’s not working, some are very quick to walk away

My parents are still married but technically only live in the same house & should have divorced years ago

I got divorced because I believe he’d have killed me if I’d stayed. That and my son had him as an example of how to be a man, that’s what did it in the end, the thought of my beautiful, gentle, loving boy becoming him. Best decision I ever made.

But ny20005 that sounds utterly miserable for them - why is that better?!

Yes a husband who hits a woman is certainly disposable

For me it was that we'd grown apart, to the extent that what was a 100% trusting relationship was destroyed when he booked a hotel for a secret weekend away with a girl he worked with. If I hadn't found out by accident then we'd have either stayed together very unhappily or divorced anyway.
I'm glad I did find out though, showed me just how bad our relationship was, and I'm in a much happier place now than I had been for years!
In my opinion, you can't promise to love someone forever when people change.

I'd ask ,why do so many people marry..

Because people usually marry when they are young and young people often aren't the best judge of character and don't usually know what is best for them.

I think the question you should be asking is why so many people get married? This one puzzles me quite often.

As for the 'rushing in' thing, we'd lived together for over 7 years when we got married and divorced after 16 years, so don't think time is always an issue!

Why do people get married more than once is an interesting one. My first marriage failed due to both of us being too young and immature to know what we were doing. I then did it again! Why? I am just as bored in this one. I am going to go it alone shortly as I find marriage very stifling

Perhaps it's because it's so easy to get married in the first place.

It is easy.

But also there is still societal pressure to get married. The government, church, media etc always promote it. Single parenthood is still viewed as a bad thing.

My ex MIL used to say 'once you're married you've maid your bed.....now you must lie in it!' Thank God I didn't listen to her when I separated from her abusive son!

Why do people get married more than once is an interesting one

Because, in some cases, they are stupid enough not to realise that they were the person who stopped the marriage working. I know one man who is now on his 4th marriage, he's been left 4 times. Surely that would make you question what it was about it?

I think you marry the wrong person. At least that's my case and I'm not the only one. I married as soon as I got pregnant and just 1 year after we started dating... So yes, we should have known each other better, but hey baby was on her way!

Other cases.. Well when people get together fairly young and they think that's what they wanted at that time. And maybe they knew it fairly early in the relationship but were too coward to accept it.