Please help, what a mess I've made

[Mylifeisfucked]

Where do I start? Can't believe my life has come to this, I feel so desperately sad.

Was with my OH 3 years... until last night. A few months after getting together I find out he's married with 2 kids (knew about the kids), that they're "separated" but living together at weekends playing happy families for the kids. Holidays together, Christmas together etc. Obviously caused alot of issues and I was lied to alot.

He cheated on me earlier this year and I found out. Like an idiot I forgave him.

I recently find out he's got a secret young child conceived a few years before we got together, and he's hid this from me for three years. Last night I see a text that would suggest there is still some sort of relationship with the mother, more than platonic. When I asked him to explain he exploded, calling me an idiot, telling me I'm pathetic etc. He went on and on so I wrote a message out to his wife telling her everything and threatened to send. I wasn't actually inyending to send it but he tried to grab my phone and it got sent in the scuffle.

Rightly or wrongly, I feel awful about this and like the worst person on the planet. I used to be so happy. Just looking for some kind words if possible as I can't stop crying right now.

Will it still show me as the OP if I do? I don't want to confuse people ha

I'm under no illusion that I'll have many ups and downs. As I say, I do feel sad but I'm so happy my resolve is the strongest it's ever been when it's come to him Thinking back over everything he's done over the years and somehow made it somebody else's (usually my) fault... it's actually laughable! I have been blind.

No idea, but even though it doesn't really matter it does seem a little wrong to use those words to describe yourself. The words we use about ourselves, even light heartedly or in passing can one of those damaging little cuts that all add up to something. I'm sure if your posts changed to MyLifeIsJustDandy we'd work out it was you!

Your daughter sounds like she has her head screwed on right. I bet it's really nice for her to have your best you back.

No it means your name changes from that point on, but you can say, this is me, with my new mojo.... people will follow on the whole !

Your namechange won't be highlighted as the OP, no, so it might be better to do the namechange, explain that it's you, start a new thread under the new name, so that you're once again highlighted as the OP, and put a link to the new thread in this thread under your new name. I mean, people can still follow, but it's an awful lot easier if your name is highlighted as the OP! :)