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Relationships

Am I wrong to feel so desperate for him to propose

115 replies

Sarah1087 · 05/11/2017 18:22

Hi girls

Here's the low down, we've been together just shy of three years, we are happy together, I know he loves me we are starting fertility treatment in next few days for me to conceive as I have endometriosis.

For last few months I've been really down maybe redundancy's in my job which I love, infertile, extreme mood swings PMS pmdd symptoms leading up to my period.
I keep arguing with him and asking why won't you do it, you love me so
Why wait, he's 37 I'm 30 we have no children from us or previous relationships. All I get is it will happen I want to spend rest of my life with you, which them words should be good enough but they're not. I've even said I feel you're not proposing until I have you're child. He was upset about this.
We both have good jobs so money isn't an issue, he said 6 months ago just give me a few months to plan something special, he threw me a surprise 30th birthday party which blew me away and I thought he was amazing, but I also thought he would propose that night and he didn't which again broke me in two.
I've even stooped so low to point I said I'd leave him, which is awful - and he says you're spoiling things for me to propose when all you do is argue every week about it with me. ( he's right ) but I can't stop, I've even gone low enough To search his Fb and find a post he'd put about proposing to his ex and how happy he was they'd been together less than a year ( this was 6 years ago ) and it has made me angry and I've felt insulted that after this long he hasn't with me, what was so special then that I haven't got. Don't get me wrong his past has nothing to do with me we've all loved someone else before and it's creepy of me to even look back at it all. What is wrong with me ? I hate what I'm doing, I'd hate to
Walk away and regret it. I honestly believe this all stems to me being so scared treatment Won't work and I just want to look forward to something positive that I'm desperate.
Another thing that winds me up, him and his ex didn't have children but she changed her name by deedpol to his and still hasn't changed it back, it's weird. And I think I don't want my baby having his name when his ex has got it and i haven't xx

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Nainer123 · 06/11/2017 09:23

I'm another one that thinks from what you've said it sounds as though he's married. Why is he being so weird about getting married, but not about having a child?

his ex changed her name to get out of debt, that wouldn't happen debt doesn't fuck off if your name changed, no one would ever have debt in that case, everyone would be changing their names.

She took him for everything, again wouldn't happen unless they were married. She would be entitled to Jack. If that were the case no one would ever split up with anyone.

Could you be so desperate to get married and have a baby you have rose tinted glasses on and overlooking things? I mean no offence but If I were in your position is be finding more out about the relationship with the ex