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Original poster

I paid £30 to be cheated on basically.

145 replies

Slaylormoon · 03/11/2017 15:09

My on/off (currently apparently on) boyfriend of 3 years casually mentioned going to (city) this weekend to see his mates, and asked could I lend him the train fare so I did.

Only he's actually in a different town meeting up with his ex.

I feel like less than dust.

OP posts:
nameusername · 03/11/2017 16:38

Apparently he just wanted closure and a chat with her, seemed taken aback that I was ending it. Hahaha..so basically he got caught. Don't take him back. The TRUST is gone.

You need to take more financial responsibility. Why are lending him money for 'leisure' when you're not in a good position yourself? Could you go back to student accommodation or YHA? Pop yourself to the bank first thing in the morning with your passport and see if you can get some cash out to tide you over till the new bank card arrives.

hellsbellsmelons · 03/11/2017 16:38

he just wanted closure and a chat with her
Ahhh... that old chestnut.
Of course he was!
That's why he lied to you about it.
What a cock.
Do men really think us 'wimmin' fall for this shite??
Seriously???

ZippyCameBack · 03/11/2017 16:39

That's great that you have sorted the halls. You just have to get through the weekend and you can definitely do that. Sobbing at your mum over the phone is probably going to help no end and is better than staying where you are.

BenLui · 03/11/2017 16:39

I’m glad you’re nearly sorted Slay he’s not the man for you. He can’t be trusted.

Mitzimaybe · 03/11/2017 16:41

You know that he's going to try to turn it all round on you, don't you?

"I was only going to properly finish with her and make it clear that I'm with you now. It would have been rude to do it by text, I wanted to do it face to face. Of course I would have told you where I was really going, but I thought you'd get upset. After all, you got upset about xyz in the past. There was absolutely nothing to it, I wasn't up to anything with her, but I didn't see the point in upsetting you unnecessarily so that's why I told you I was going to city X to see my (male) friends there."

That kind of thing. Don't believe a word of it.

whiskyowl · 03/11/2017 16:42

The closure and a chat thing. Yes, it's an old line and often a lie. But my DH actually did this, not to me (he would be a eunuch now if he had) but to his last GF before me. And it was literally closure and moving on into the new relationship. Of course, his GF at the time didn't see it that way and quite naturally went mad at him. I was Shock when he told me!! Poor woman!!

PuppyMonkey · 03/11/2017 16:42

Eat all his food before you leave and do a big poo in the loo without flushing.

BackBoiler · 03/11/2017 16:44

Its a small amount of money but a huge amount of cheek that he has asked you for money to basically cheat as you said!

What a knob! I agree with pp that it is the best £30 you could've spent.

Mitzimaybe · 03/11/2017 16:44

Oops submitted too soon. Meant to add, if it were true that he was only seeing her to get "closure", when she got your message asking him to answer his phone, he would have rung you immediately, not turned his phone off until he had had chance to think up a plausible story.

kemptownlady · 03/11/2017 16:46

Please don't take any of his stuff or sell any of his stuff as that's theft. Even though he owes you that money. If I were you I'd sit tight until you can find somewhere else to live - make him sleep on the sofa until then. So sorry this has happened to you. Keep your chin up and be thankful that you found out now and not when you'd had children with him or got married to him. In my experience you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince charming, and even then prince charming can have his off days. sending big hugs xx

BackInTheRoom · 03/11/2017 16:47

Apparently he just wanted closure and a chat with her, seemed taken aback that I was ending it.

Comedy gold! Yeah and of course you both talked about him having this chat with her first didn't you?! You know an equal decision in order to tie up some loose ends and to strengthen your relationship yes?! OP, thank goodness you've got somewhere to stay tonight, have a good cry and a good sleep and see how you feel in the morning and remember it's not you, it's him 💐

powderbluerose · 03/11/2017 16:48

What @PuppyMonkey said!!! Grin

raisinsarenottheonlyfruit · 03/11/2017 16:49

Slaylormoon well done for sorting the hotel and your room.

Even if what he says is true and he was only going for "closure" why the fuck is he borrowing £30 off you when you're low on money, and leaving you without access to any money, not to mention lying to you while he goes off to have "closure" with his ex.

Even his lies aren't worthy of your time and attention!

powderbluerose · 03/11/2017 16:49

Just remember op, as horrible as it will all feel right now. You are so much better off without him. Flowers x

FizzyGreenWater · 03/11/2017 16:51

Closure - yeah right!

Tell him you've had to cancel your card and have no access to funds as we ll as having to book a hotel room - hmm, say £100 should cover your inconvenience. Maybe say this in a way that implies that you MIGHT reconsider if he has the good grace to refund you for your troubles thanks to this 'misunderstanding'

...then don't reconsider.

AgathaRaisonDetra · 03/11/2017 16:53

He has closure alright. YOUR closure.

Original poster
Slaylormoon · 03/11/2017 16:53

The money thing way more than likely to make sure I stayed in all weekend, not that he's ever had reason the be suspicious of me. Guilty conscience imo.

Sadly no prawns in and I'm too sad to buy some specially before I leave. I'm doing to film a walk through of the place before I go + me putting his keys through the letter box so he can't accuse me of stealing or ruining anything!

OP posts:
Notreallyarsed · 03/11/2017 16:54

Anything that will go “off” will do in place of prawns. Just saying....

GinAndSonic · 03/11/2017 16:54

Piss in his kettle.

Bloomed · 03/11/2017 17:03

So your university is near where he lives? Or did he try to isolate you further by moving you in with him?

LoverOfCake · 03/11/2017 17:04

No no no not prawns. Break an egg into a bag or box small enough to be hidden somewhere. Then tuck into hiding place and sit back and watch, so to speak.

Don't ask me how I know. Wink was nothing to do with revenge though I promise.

But I can attest to the fact that the smell will penetrate everything in its wake.....

As for the thread someone else linked to further up (which is extremely bad form FWIW given there is no context for that thread to be linked,) I remember reading it at the time and now I am intrigued, did anything further happen with regard to contact from that creep?

badbadhusky · 03/11/2017 17:04

Can of tuna in his cupboards?

ILookedintheWater · 03/11/2017 17:08

If you leave before he returns he'll still have your card won't he?

LoverOfCake · 03/11/2017 17:11

Card has been cancelled though ilooked, so it won't be any use anyway.

inlectorecumbit · 03/11/2017 17:12

Clean the loo with his toothbrush.
Eat any food in fridge and poor milk coffee etc down sink--and any alcohol lying about. Put all the electric appliances on and the heating up high for a while before you go.
If he has a landline -phone the speaking clock-or anyone in Oz and leave.

It's all very well joking op. You have had a shock Flowers but you are well rid.

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