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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Battling on!

981 replies

lollipop7 · 31/10/2017 20:06

So I'm starting a new thread following on from 0I don't know what to do" as we're almost full.
Blimey! How did that happen!

Seems lots of you are rather ruddy marvellous and want to keep going on this journey with me so I'm opening a new chapter.
Will be back with a proper update later 💐

OP posts:
HazelBite · 04/11/2017 16:08

Lollipop I have read all your threads, and the content.
For the sake of your health and that of the baby you need to calm down and start to see the bigger picture.
If you had legal representation in Court you would not have been granted an adjournment because of your indisposition, you had a barrister to talk for you (whether in retrospect you agree with how he/she represented you)
Comfort yourself that the Judge has ordered a finding of fact, the Judge cannot make an informed decision without one, and the fact that this has been ordered gives you and any legal representatives more time to efficiently put your case together.
A note of caution, criticism of legal professionals does not go down well and could cloud any opinion of you.
Take a deep breath, it will "all come out in the wash" and I would advise against breaching the Court order for the time being.

I realise that you have suffered terribly but please don't to anything to jepodise the final sucessful outcome

Mumek · 04/11/2017 20:04

MrsBertBibby's advice is spot on.
Another supporter her Lollipop, you are amazing and your children are so lucky to have such a fabulously caring Mum.

lollipop7 · 04/11/2017 20:41

Thanks for the sterling advice as always @MrsBertBibby yes that’s right that’s what I want to adjourn. I guess I am just worried that there will be a slight delay with this. I can’t trust them anyway, so I will discuss first thing with the new solicitors. I have all the emails, paperwork, etc ready to go and shall then put the complaint in.

Yes, on the Order there was a requirement to communicate availability for dates by set point in October. Thanks to the two stooges I had no idea.

Then there was the deadline for these allegations which I only knew about yesterday from the Court themselves. Repeat as above.

That’s what I wish to adjourn. I’ve got my letters from GP and Consultants who say 6-8 weeks from birth. Sure it will be refused as per before but at least this time I know they’ll list it for Leave of directions.

As to what happens tomorrow, well I’ve heard nothing but I am not contacting him. I have harassment warnings in place and I am so fearful of speaking with him I can’t. So will have to see what it brings, but I will only be pointing out to him with a locked door between us what he did to piss his contact order up against the wall. As he so gleefully wrote to me “the Order is effective from X and you have to abide by it”
Well so do you mate. And you haven’t. On eight separate occasions.

I then intend to leave him to ruminate as to the error of his ways and tell him that he’d better go before the police turn up as thanks to his hideous harassment of me there is a mark on this house if he turns up and terrifies me again.

Not going to worry about it tonight though.

OP posts:
JWrecks · 04/11/2017 21:46

What a massive cock up by your last solicitors! They ought to be struck off and hanged for fucking over a client this badly! Unbelievable bloody mess!

Thank God all exP has ever done is shoot himself in the feet, the idiot. And all you've ever done is every single thing you should and could do right.

This is great news, though. No contact, so you can finally have a quiet time, and you can bring Lollipup into the world peacefully, and there is nothing he can do about it but impotently stew with himself to blame. Ha ha, arsehole.

Three cheers for Mama Bear!

lollipop7 · 05/11/2017 08:16

Spent hours last night thinking I was going into labour.
It’s all stopped now!

So a nervous wait to see if he decides that a Court Order really is one way street in his eyes

OP posts:
CheckpointCharlie2 · 05/11/2017 08:31

Hope he stays away lolli and oh my goodness you might have your baby today!!! Sending you lots of love and strength.

lollipop7 · 05/11/2017 08:43

I don’t think I’m destined to ever go into labour of my own accord! He’ll stay put I know it.

I have an awful feeling he’ll turn up and I’m just not feeling well enough to go anywhere today, plus still haven’t got my stuff ready for tomorrow.
Then there will be some sort of scene. I’m sick of feeling hunted down and totally vulnerable.

OP posts:
RedastheRose · 05/11/2017 09:11

Fingers crossed that he doesn't turn up today and leaves you in peace. MrsBertBibby's advice is, as always, worth following.

I really hope that things calm down for you and you can concentrate on your DC's and the impending new arrival.

RedastheRose · 05/11/2017 09:20

Not easy I know but try not to worry about 'what if's'. If he turns up and creates a scene then you call the police. You have the order now and proof he has breached the no contact provisions repeatedly so you can show them that if he does, they will take it from there. No benefit in worrying about things that haven't happened yet. Have a cup of tea and concentrate on you and the baby.

RandomMess · 05/11/2017 09:30

Don’t wait for him to create a scene just call the police! You have an anti harassment order, he knows he’s breached the court order...

lollipop7 · 05/11/2017 09:30

Thanks, @Red I appreciate it.

Just hate all the tension and worry it's awful.

OP posts:
Idontmeanto · 05/11/2017 09:47

Are we allowed a sweepstake? I reckon you’ll go into spontaneous labour about 3pm today and have a 5th November baby at about 8.47.
I.e once you feel safe fuckwit’s not coming, or the police have dealt with him, and you will forever be able to associate bonfire night and fireworks with the day he was forced to respect you, as well as the day your lovely bean arrived. Might not be easy, won’t be your last battle, but today WILL be a good day. I run the universe and I said so!

holdbackonthewine · 05/11/2017 09:48

Thinking of you today and hoping you have someone with you.

Groovee · 05/11/2017 10:00

Thinking of you x

Frouby · 05/11/2017 10:09

Thinking of you today lovely. Don't fuck about, if you so much as see his car phone the police. Keep the door locked and don't even answer it. Flowers

IHeartDodo · 05/11/2017 10:10

Delurking to say good luck! You've come so so far and I've followed your story with absolute amazement at how you've handled everything!
X

rollingonariver · 05/11/2017 10:43

Hope everything is okay op.
You really are so brave. I really hope this is sorted soon so you and your family can be happy Smile

NettleTea · 05/11/2017 10:54

another delurking to say good luck

lollipop7 · 05/11/2017 12:47

Well almost 1pm and almost two hours since he was expected. No sign.

It’s been a horrendous two hours.

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 05/11/2017 12:55

He's not coming. Chill out!

holdbackonthewine · 05/11/2017 13:38

I’m hoping he has got the message.....

Idontmeanto · 05/11/2017 15:02

Glad he’s leaving you alone. Rest up lovely!

Ellendegeneres · 05/11/2017 15:05

Thinking of you lollipop and the little lollipop children. Good luck tomorrow, we're all sending you well wishes Flowers

Slingsanderrors · 05/11/2017 15:16

Hope you have a relaxed and peaceful afternoon and evening @lollipop7, and good luck for tomorrow. Flowers

Tartanwellies · 05/11/2017 16:21

thinking of you XX