Battling on!

[lollipop7]

So I'm starting a new thread following on from 0I don't know what to do" as we're almost full.
Blimey! How did that happen!

Seems lots of you are rather ruddy marvellous and want to keep going on this journey with me so I'm opening a new chapter.
Will be back with a proper update later 💐

I am delighted for you lolli x

Fantastic! Great news.

Fantastic news lollipop. Now relax and enjoy Christmas. 2018 is going to be fantastic for you

Happy Christmas Lollipop! Glad this has mostly gone your way. You will still have the finding of fact to make your substantial case that he is a dangerous creature.

Pity about twatty SW but at arsehole knobhead Ex not getting his own way. Bet that's ruined his Christmas.

Thanks everyone.
I’m seething about the SW. I would never do that to my little boy.
Furthermore I don’t see how she could have made such an assertion after approximately seven minutes in his company. She isn’t even a trained psychologist so I it seems outrageous to me. Also if she’d even read the stuff I sent her yesterday then how she could describe my ex as mentally stable is beyond me.

On the basis that her astonishing and unsubstantiated “expert opinion” is a load of shite I’m going to complain and ask for some clarification. I don’t see how she can be expected to write an unbiased and professional report after this sort of behaviour.

In other words I want a new SW.
Perhaps telling the, I have an appointment with my MP in the New Year and I have already hauled two Police Constabularies over the coals might make them listen.

There is no way I’m willing to countenance that kind of quackery

I am shocked at your sw opinion. Just can't get my head around that. How can she claim your ex is mentally stable has she spent anytime with him? 3 mins sounds like all she would need for her expert opinion to be formed .

Id be mad as I'd take it personally as well considering the information you have provided her. She seems to have either ignored it or made some decision on you as a person.

can you ask the Court to appoint a Safeguarder.... if you mistrust the Social Worker...

I will have to do something as it's outrageous
Puts thinking cap on .......

Lollipop I don't get how she can assess anybody in such a short space of time. Is she reading reports that have been handed to her or something?

But at least you have a bit of breathing space. Take care of yourself x

I always had faith in social workers .... until I had personal experience of them. Our one told me that my DS (he was 11) had such a rough time with his Dad and was so upset by his behaviour that in her opinion if they were to have contact again (DS was refusing to) she was going to recommend mediation for them together to assist my DS through it as he was so traumatised by DF's behaviour. I thought that made sense.

She then wrote up her report and made no mention of that recommendation whatsoever and made a few other comments that were just bizarre and completely incorrect.

I wrote and questioned where her recommendation had gone and asked about other errors in her report. She phoned me to acknowledge and said she would be in touch.... and never got in touch with me again.

Faith gone.

A relative of mine has just reported social services and their recent actions in relation to her and her son to the police. And the police are taking it very seriously.

She's had some wonderful sw but recently what the new ones have been doing is completely unbelievable, disgusting and actually criminal.

My colleagues & I regularly have to make contact decisions, for babies and children. I'm astonished at the social worker's brief assessment, so she wants to reintroduce contact between your little boy and his dad. IF this was to happen, your wee boy is likely to be retraumatised. Children who witness domestic asbuse sometimes show symptoms of PTSD, to heal they need to have adults to safeguard their welfare , which you are doing Lollipop. Good luck

How are you doing Lollipop? Just caught up on your ups and downs recently and still gunning for you...

Bit crap really.
Feel really frightened again and so anxious. I’m going to see GP tomorrow as I can’t cope with how scared I feel.
Think it’s doing the stuff for Police.

Oh, lollipop. I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad.

If you're breastfeeding Baby Lollipop I suspect your GP will not be able to prescribe too much. But there are other things you can do.

When I was at my anxious worst (I had cPTSD following an abusive childhood) I found out about self compassion meditations. If you google that phraseself compassion meditationand add "free download" you'll find loads of guided meditations which are designed to make you feel better about yourself, and I found they really helped reduce my anxiety levels. Some only take five minutes, and it's amazingly helpful. I found that if I did one or two a day, and perhaps an extra one if I found myself spiralling into anxiety again, I would feel much better in minutes. I hope they help you too.

Hope the doctor was able to help, lovely. Still wishing you well xx

Been thinking about you - admiring your strength of character for all you have been / going through.

Hope Doctor was able to help

Be kind to yourself - you are an incredible mum !

Hey lollipop, just wanted to say that there are many options for anti anxiety medication for breastfeeding mama's - I am a bf mama who receives medication and support for anxiety post escaping abusive ' relationship '. You deserve good luck and a happy healthy life. Best wishes

Just popping in to say 'hi' and hope you're ok.

I was inspired to donate to a local charity for women and children who are victims of DV. I hope there is something similar near you and you start getting some more support soon. Keep your eye on the horizon.

Hi Lollipop :) I have spent most of this year in a court battle with my abusive ex. Final hearing was yesterday and I got the result I wanted. One of the commenters on my thread pointed me towards your thread. I haven't read through it all yet but wanted to stop by and offer solidarity and support! Xxx

Here's my thread about my final hearing:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3114531-Hand-holding-needed-final-court-hearing-with-abusive-ex?watched=1&msgid=74170333#74170333

@TidyLike sounds like you have had a horrific time of it. So glad that cafcass have been helpful to you. They have not been so great with Lolli and now a social worker has waded in stating that her ex is mentally well yet seems to have no evidence of ever really spending any time with him to come up with that expert opinion. You sound like you could help her a lot.

I hope you have a fantastic Christmas and can finally relax after years of unbelievable stress.

Oh I also have ME do go to your gp with your systems and get bloods and tests done.

Symptoms*

@TidyLike congratulations 🍾🥂🎉 that’s wonderful news!
Gives me some hope. I’m dealing with such a rotter it’s unbelievable. Would you mind my as,king what specific sort of things you had to endure?

So in other news I’ve not had a good few days.

• the social worker now appears to be acting as some sort of contact broker for his parents who have asked her to ask me if they can see the children over Christmas. I’m so floored by her allegiance to their son I don’t know where to start.
• we’ve had some ghastly Christmas cards with message s aimed at me but written to children that can’t read. He’s a fucking fruit loop. I’ve reported them to the police.

It just never stops 😓

Sorry to here it’s been a difficult few days. (Though it might help show you in a reasonable light if you can facilitate a visit with grandparents, just them mind, he doesn’t get to tag along!