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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Battling on!

981 replies

lollipop7 · 31/10/2017 20:06

So I'm starting a new thread following on from 0I don't know what to do" as we're almost full.
Blimey! How did that happen!

Seems lots of you are rather ruddy marvellous and want to keep going on this journey with me so I'm opening a new chapter.
Will be back with a proper update later 💐

OP posts:
Toooldtobearsed · 12/12/2017 17:35

iknowimcoming not innappropriate at all - the bravery that Lollipop has shown will carry her through these dark days and into tue light again.
You just need to think- where will I be this time next year? I can guarantee you will be in a much kinder place. Keep going Lollipop, you can do it!

McGintyii · 13/12/2017 10:16

How did it go lollipop?

Original poster
lollipop7 · 13/12/2017 11:00

Sorry meant to update yesterday but our house is a sick bay with coughing snotty children and I’ve got my third chest infection since July.

It went ok, Thanks. I think. She seemed very common sense and she did listen to me. But it’s always difficult to tell with these things. She asked if she could talk to my son and he did speak with her. I left the room as I didn’t want to be accused of anything, though I think it’s safe to say you can’t coach a three and a half year old child. When I came back in the room he ran over to me and shouted “I love you Mummy”

I said I wasn’t willing to even consider strictly supervised contact in a children’s centre with a social worker. Not at this stage. Hearing is tomorrow. Will see what it brings.

OP posts:
JaneEyre70 · 13/12/2017 11:08

Well done, that must have been really hard for you Flowers

OnTheRise · 13/12/2017 11:28

I'm cheering you on, lollipop. You're a star.

Slingsanderrors · 13/12/2017 15:43

Still here at your back lollipop, glad that the SW visit was ok. Sorry you’re all ill, hopefully get it out of the way by Christmas.
Take care of yourself and try and relax as much as you can Flowers

Original poster
lollipop7 · 13/12/2017 20:33

Thanks everyone.
I'm trying to but I ha da little boy who has woken up screaming and sobbing again the last two nights begging me to stay with him and that he loves me please don't go mummy. I can only assume it's mention of his father since he was fine before.
Trying not to cry and phoning my friend to offload soon 😓

OP posts:
Slingsanderrors · 13/12/2017 20:47

Oh bless him lollipop, poor little boy. Hope you have a good offload with your friend. Gin

OnTheRise · 13/12/2017 21:44

Thank goodness you were there for him, Lollipop. He is so lucky to have you.

Bekabeech · 13/12/2017 23:10

Keep a diary entry about this, and talk to your health visitor or GP about it (ask for advice). Having a record could be helpful later.

Ellie56 · 13/12/2017 23:31

Agree with Bekabeech. Keep a record of any of these incidents and potential triggers.

That poor little boy. Sad

That bastard has so much to answer for. Angry

NameWithChange · 14/12/2017 07:58

Good luck today.

Your little one may feel a bit unsettled with a new baby in the house, everything will settle, you are on the road to things improving for you all. Keep going.

iknowimcoming · 14/12/2017 08:58

I have everything crossed that the hearing goes your way again today Lollipop- will be thinking about you and your little ones Thanks

hellsbellsmelons · 14/12/2017 09:07

Bless him.
So glad he has such a wonderful mum there.
Good luck from me as well today.

Original poster
lollipop7 · 14/12/2017 09:24

He was very quiet when he went to nursery today as he was yesterday.
He only woke up once more in the night but i settled him.

I tried to explain to the social worker that this all disrupts and upsets him. That he has his children therapy through group play starting and a special support worker who will observe and be there with / for him. It lasts ten weeks and I want to see it that helps him to understand what happened isn’t because he was naughty, it was because of his daddy.
It’s my view that my children need some stability and time to adjust to new Home, new baby, new nursery and to get used to living in a house where they aren’t treated like an object by someone that’s supposed to look after them and love them.

I sent a lot to the social worker and she’s back next week.
The hearing is for half an hour at lunchtime. I’ll keep you posted and again thanks for thinking of us x💐

OP posts:
OnTheRise · 14/12/2017 09:45

I think you're spot on with your thoughts about stability and change, Lollipop.

I hope all goes well today. I'll be cheering you on from here.

CarpeVitam · 14/12/2017 10:04

Another one here routing for you Lolli! Xx

AvoidingDM · 14/12/2017 10:27

Poor wee guy. I think your right he's had an awful lot of change in a short time.

TheMShip · 14/12/2017 10:54

Fx for you today! Flowers

Doublemint · 14/12/2017 12:28

Come on team lollipop!!!!

Groovee · 14/12/2017 12:34

Thinking of you x

Mustang27 · 14/12/2017 13:05

Poor mite. You are do fantastically lolli. I feel exhausted for you I have no idea where you find the energy but you always do.

Ellie56 · 14/12/2017 13:19

You can do it Lollipop! 🍭

Hugs to you and the little lollipops🍭 🍭 🍭

Original poster
lollipop7 · 14/12/2017 13:22

His application for Contact was rejected. Contested hearing end of January. The judge said pd12 had to followed so that was that.
That's a huge relief.

Less so is the fact that social worker thinks I am coaching my three year old Hmm and that the ex is mentally stable. She wants to observe them under supervised setting but that's not going to be for a while.
I suspected his would be the case.
A mixed bag but I can breathe for now

OP posts:
TheMShip · 14/12/2017 13:38

Congratulations on the application being rejected!!

Too bad to hear about the SW's opinion. Hopefully further evidence will convince her that you are not coaching your child. Was she unaware that your ex had assaulted him? That's a damn good reason for a kid to be scared.