Battling on!

[lollipop7]

So I'm starting a new thread following on from 0I don't know what to do" as we're almost full.
Blimey! How did that happen!

Seems lots of you are rather ruddy marvellous and want to keep going on this journey with me so I'm opening a new chapter.
Will be back with a proper update later 💐

The strength that you have is awesome. If you can register the birth on your own, then you can do anything that it takes to get to a better place in your life. If it were possible to know where you are i would come and give you a hug! Its not possible tho, better to stay safe and not have half the internet turning up in your street causing a frenzy! Just know that I think about you often and am sending support.

lolli well done getting through that.

Best of luck with the adjournment, and hope you get a decision asap either way. It must be hard not knowing.

Congratulations on registering the Birth.. in your own time and on your own terms

Well done Lollipop. Another ordeal survived.

It is hard now but you will look back on these achievements and be proud that you did it for you and your children . Hugs

Kudos, lollipop.

Wreckage now, but a building site.

He’ll just apply for a Court Order for PR

At least he will not be able to change his name or surname.

Another day today where my little boy sat in the back of the car and told me he didn’t like his Daddy out of the blue . I asked him why and he said “because he is a big bully and he made me and mummy cry”
Just so sad and so wrong that nobody else is listening. It’s crushing me, the worry and sadness. How can I let him and his sister and baby brother down?

I’m sorry I rambling, it’s just that time of night again where it all closes in on me and I feel consumed with fear.

Thank You all once again for thinking of us 💐

So sorry Lollipop. You shouldn't have to go through this and your poor children shouldn't have to deal with that vile excuse for a father.

xxx from me

Oh lollipop
I know it was a horrendously hard day, but you are doing so so well.

It’s been another awful night, I hadn’t slept and I’m now so exhausted my vision is blurred and I’m shaking.

I can’t take another day of all the fear and misery and worry. I genuinely cannot face another awful Court Hearing, i think I’ll ed up very ill in hospital. I’ve got absolutely no money left to do it as my Legal Aid application hasn’t been successful unless MARAC rehear my case and my Mum can’t cope with anymore of the stress and endless childcare, and I already owe her a fortune as it is.

I’ve been sat this morning applying for social housing after years of a good career and financial independence. I’m ashamed to say I’m reduced to turning socks and knickers inside out the next day to wear them again and all I have are maternity clothes to wear even to Court which look ridiculous on me as I’ve lost so much weight with having and breastfeeding a baby. I’ve not even got any makeup left and the shadows under my eyes are so awful you could see them from space. Sorry, I’m having a pity party, I know. It’s pathetic. I am pathetic.

The last almost five months have nearly killed me. I can’t take another day feeling like this.

So I will have to give up this fight. If he wants them every other weekend then I will just have to hope and pray that nothing happens to them and he loses interest. He’ll get PR for the baby. In time he’ll take him too and nobody will care. The system is failing us, has failed us. He assaults a child, breaches Court Orders, has destroyed my life with psychological abuse writ large, has hurt me and he’s even committed fraud but I’m the one on the ropes. I’ve lost my little flickering, spluttering flame of hope. It’s snuffed out.

Thank You so much all of you for everything you’ve written, and for the wonderful advice and moral support you’ve given me. I wish someone involved in my case bore just a passing resemblance to one of you. Then I might not be sat here feeling so desolate.

I will leave these threads here in case they help anyone else. Sadly I think the only legacy they Leave is one of the enduring failure of this country’s legal and justice system, the wretched misogyny and bureaucratic intransigence at best incompetence at worse. I have reached out and tried so hard but me and my children are just little defenceless corks bobbing on a stormy ocean. And I am tired of struggling not to get sucked under. I’m so tired.

I hope you all have a lovely Christmas. Right now I don’t even know if I will spend mine with my beloved children or where I might be living. I am broken.

I’m sorry to have “made” people emotionally invest or care. I feel like a fraudster, because I can’t do it anymore.

Love to you all. I won’t forget any of you.
Lollipop xx

Lollipop, I can't say don't give up because that wouldn't be fair to how much you've done so far. Just know that you have so much support out here, recognising your strength and your love for your children. You have been, and remain, awesome.

Ditto, you are amazing, I don’t think I could have fought so hard. We will abe here for you at anytime x

Lollipop, you're amazing just to have got your children out from under the same roof as that controlling bastard. Even if he does get visitation with your children they can now grow up seeing a different sort of life--one free of abuse and misery. They'll learn from you that people can be kind and helpful and lovely. And they'll see that he is none of those things. You HAVE done well to get this far, it HAS made a difference, and things WILL improve no matter what.

Keep on going. You are an inspiration to me, and to many others here.

Dearest Lollipop, you’ve been here before, and you’ve rallied. Just now you need to eat and sleep. One day at a time...

Ah lovely brave lady.

Can womens aid help anymore? Just call them to offload if nothing else. What is happening with the new solicitor? Will she work pro bono or help with your legal aid application?

If not then self represent. We will help you. Others posters on here have legal knowledge. We will be with you I promise.

Have you started a claim for child support? Screw the fucker while he is still working.

And applying for social housing is a fantastic step. I live in a lovely HA property. There is no shame in that I promise. What is your plan for work?

And please please speak to your midwife or gp. If I were in your situation and post partum I would be a fucking blubbering heap on the floor.

Don't reply to this thread again unless you want to. But no matter what you do or decide in the short and in the long term we will be here cheering you on.

And just remember whatever happens with contact it's better than where your dcs were. Eow is far better than every fucking day I promise

Lollypop you will not give up. This is what he wants. Don't let him win.
You are strong and you have come so far x

Lollipop - How sad to hear you are so low. As you are learning, the family justice system does tend to operate a one size fits all system with regard to contact. It is seen as the right of the child.

Your recent post takes me back to a dark time. We attended hearings without representation. Representation does not change the outcome but makes the process slightly less stressful.

Some barristers do operate a direct system whereby you do not need a solicitor.

Once again op, if you feel I can offer you any support and advice, please pm me.

@lollipop7 please tell me if you need any baby clothes because I have so many. Please also tell me if you need anything else, I'd love to help.

You have got this far, don't give up. You can do this, you are so strong. Don't let him do this xx

Lollipop you've already managed so much. You can do this!

So sorry you're feeling so low Lollipop. Without outing can you say what region you're in so some of us might be able to help you in RL? Do you have an inside health visitor?

Long time lurker but registered tonight to send my support to you Lollipop. You have been through the mill and I like many others have been rooting for you and your little ones. Could you start a go fund me page or something as I'm sure loads of people here would donate to help you, I certainly would. You might be so close to getting the result you need in court, please don't give up. Thinking of you xx

I hope my inadvertent typo made you smile. An inside health visitor sounds rather Victorian. I meant, of course, is your health visitor supportive and on side? Thinking of you and your mini milks.

Oh lollipop sending my love to you xx

Oh lollipop you are being incredible! You’ve just had a baby and with all the other crap going on then of course you feel like you’re at rock bottom!
You have so many people rooting for you here though and willing you through this.
You can’t even think about taking one day at a time right now but more like one hour at a time. Don’t look further than that for the time being and just focus on getting through each hour.
Even as shit as things are at the moment, your children already have a better life than they did under the same roof as their father.
We all want to help you. Even if we can only offer kind, supportive words on a screen.
Keep going girl