*trigger warning" consent for sex

[TimeIsAnIllusion]

I have a question about consent to sex within marriage.
Sometimes when my husband and I are in bed together (we normally sleep together), he will try to initiate sex by groping me - touching me and rubbing his penis against me - if I say no and he continues to force himself on top of me and attempt to penetrate me - I will try to push him off - explain I am exhausted - not in the mood now - he will continue to pin me down, force my legs apart and make me have sex - I will struggle for as long as I feel able - but often will give in and let him carry on (laying there limply not giving any encouragement hoping he finishes quickly because I am desperate for sleep). Does giving in in this manner mean I have now consented (to get it over with)?

You are a true inspiration and a fantastic mother! I am so impressed. Good luck with the children it’ll all be better when you are well and truly rid of that cockroach disguised as a human

You can put in a bolt or door chain, to give you more peace of mind.

Have you considered your dd's emotional problems /self harm might be at least partially caused by living in the midst of this relationship dynamic? I know you were scared of damaging them emotionally by splitting, but it may be healthier all round afterwards.

Thank you for the support and encouragement it means a lot.
Onwards and upwards now in life I hope.

Yes the self harm and suicide attempts of my daughter are v likely at least in part due to growing up with domestic abuse - she's on high alert / anxious state continuously.
She's finally got a regular thing going with Camhs rather then the occasional emergency appointments she was getting.
Since he left I've discovered the benefits of being allowed to choose my own bath towel (I used to be told I was only allowed a small raggedy towel that was cheaper to launder), I've cut my hair and had it highlighted (this would have been deemed a waste of money and not allowed)!
I don't have to complete a list of tasks before I leave the house these days. I regularly buy myself flowers and have a vase of them on the dining table always. I can shop till I drop (when funds allow) and not feel guilt for buying new clothes and shoes.
I love using the bus and train to go places and it's more relaxing than being driven by someone who drives erratically to scare me on purpose when they're angry.
I have no more stress over meal times - him criticising the food I had prepared... my cupboards are stuffed with food yet we spend less than he claimed food was costing... 🤔
I'm feeling stronger mentally and finding the old me again before I was so worn down and lacking confidence and felt worthless, insignificant - invisible - that's how you end up accepting so many rules and instructions to avoid rows!
Anyone else in the same situation - please go to your Gp. Seek help from women's charities etc there is a lot of support out there and I know it takes time to get free and access all the help (waiting lists for mental health etc ) but it is so worth it to find happiness and hope and enjoyment for your future! ❤️

Well done and thanks for the lovely update. All the best to you and your children.

Great to see the update.

I left ex last year, and despite the stress leaving caused, I'd do it again as life is now much better.

Well done, you are amazing to have got through this and be growing on upwards even just little shoots up is such a wonderful thing! Well done again.

This is an amazing and inspiring thread, thanks so much for updating.

I hope that other women who are abused will read this and see that it’s possible to escape and have a normal life with your children.